


Frozen Hearts

by ShipersAnonymous



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Smut, West-Allen - Freeform, figure skating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2019-12-30 16:20:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 27
Words: 46,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18318887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShipersAnonymous/pseuds/ShipersAnonymous
Summary: Two hearts frozen by life and brought together by their love for the ice. Ex ice hockey player turned speed skater, Barry Allen returns home in an attempt to salvage his career and runs into his old figure skating partner Iris West who, after an accident during an event, has not been able to return to the rink.A story of love, friendship and second chances where two broken people mend eachother as they learn to live again.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a Twitter request I came across that's based on the skating scene in 5x12 and inspired by the last two "Cutting Edge" movies. 
> 
> I tweaked the story a bit and I hope you like it.
> 
> XOXO   
> 😘😘

[Iris]

"Wallace! If you put anymore gel on that hair it will fall out! Let's go!" Iris called up the stairs as she looked at her watch frustrated. Seconds later Wally came bouncing down the stairs, clearly satisfied with his appearance.   
"You can't rush perfection sis," he smirked and Iris rolled her eyes while pulling her gym bag further up her shoulder.   
"We'll see how long your perfect hair lasts when I make you walk to school," she scowled making her way to the door.   
"See you later dad!" she called on her way out and left without waiting for a response.

They strapped themselves in and she started the engine, backing out of the drive way slowly then speeding down the road.   
"Are you trying to get us killed?" Wally asked clearly scared.   
"I barely trust your driving skills when you're below the speed limit and I'm not quite ready to meet the big Man upstairs," he added.

"Shut it Wally. I was nervous enough without you making me late, and now I'm downright anxious so you either can it or I'll kill you on purpose," she snapped.

"Sheesh alright, alright, I'll keep my mouth shut," he said knowingly. When his sister was this far in to her feels it was better to let her wrestle her demons in peace. In reality Iris wasn't upset with Wally. He'd been late countless times before and usually she didn't mind but today everything was annoying her. She woke up that morning and for a blissful second after she opened her eyes everything was alright, but then the world came crashing down on her when she remembered what day it was. It was the start of the Central City local figure skating tryouts and for the fifth year in a row she wouldn't be competing. From the tryouts the CCSB(Central City Skating Board) would select three pairs that would compete for a single spot at the State event which determined who went to nationals. The national champions would then move on to represent the country in the World Figure Skating Championships, the most prestigious skating event in the world (not counting the Olympics).

Ever since..."the incident", Iris had not been able to gather up the nerve to step onto an ice rink. For months, after her body had recovered from the accident, she'd attempted to get back on the ice but everytime she was about to step in her lungs contracted, her body froze and spots dotted her vision. She hadn't gone back since. But today Iris would have to face her worst fear because her Aunt Cecile had called last minute and one of her coaches had fallen ill. With some of her clients competing during the week she couldn't afford to lose a coach so she asked the junior instructor to fill in and turned to Iris for help with her class.   
Cecile was entering her second trimester of pregnancy and as paranoid as her aunt was she refused to do anything that posed the smallest threat to her baby's well being, otherwise she would have filled in herself.

Iris came to a harsh halt at the gates of CCU and waited for Wally to get out, but he stayed put. He took her by surprise by leaning into her and giving her a hug. The shock wore off and she hugged him back, grateful for the moment of comfort. He let go and smiled at her and Iris smiled back, feeling a little calmer. Once he stepped out of the car he looked at her through the open window and said,

"Thanks for the ride sis, and whatever it is that's got you all worked up, just know that it's not worth losing your life over."  
With that he stepped away from the car, turned on his heel and walked into campus. Iris sat there for a while, taking deep breaths and mentally preparing herself for the challenge she was about to face. She convinced herself that she was ready and started the car back up, driving slower this time around. She arrived at the ice rink and grabbed her gym bag, not allowing herself the time to over think about her predicament. With a steady pace she marched into the building, without a look back and with a "now or never" sence of determination.   
As she put on her skates her panic began to set in, spurred by the nostalgic feeling of her skates around her feet. It pulsed in the back of her mind like a distant whisper and she took deep breaths, counting in tens to calm herself down. Her legs wobbled a little when she stood, but just like riding a bike, her body soon tapped into that surpressed part of her and she regained her footing. Her ears began to ring as her pulse picked up speed and the closer she got to the rink the harder it was for her to breathe. The rink was empty, as she knew it would be. She didn't yell at Wally cause she was late for the class. She yelled cause she knew she needed the extra time to make her peace with the past and reacquaint herself with the ice.

But there she was, one step away from the place she once considered home, completely paralysed by fear. The scar at the back of her head began to burn blurring her vision and her left leg felt like it was made of jello. She began to hyperventilate as her lungs seemed to collapse and she slowly sank to the floor as her legs gave in. She yanked the skates off of her feet and made a break for the exit, closing her eyes against the flow of tears that threatened to burst through. Without her vision and distracted by her anxiety she didn't realise that an obstacle laid ahead. She slammed into the poor unsuspecting person in front of her sending them both crashing into the ground. Her victim softened her fall and she opened her eyes as she began to apologise but recognition made her swallow her words.

Sea green eyes stared up at her in shock from a face that tore open an old wound inside her. A face she never expected to see again. A face she swore to forget along with the name of the person who owned it. The face of Bartholomew Henry Allen.

 


	2. Flashback

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be doing these occasional flashbacks just to give you a little insight of how we got to the place the characters are currently at. I hope they don't confuse anyone😅
> 
> Enjoy the chapter 😊❤️

"Do I have to go dad?" Iris whined as her mother helped her put on her baby blue snow jacket.  
"I mean I tried dancing and that failed, how much better am I going to be on ice?" she questioned.  
Her father kneeled down to her level and holding her shoulders reassuringly said,  
"Let's make a deal baby girl. You go to the ice skating lesson and if you don't like it I'll tell Aunt Cecile that it's not for you. OK?"  
Little Iris noded her agreement dully and forced herself to put one foot in front of the other as she walked out of the house.  
"That's my girl." Joe said under his breath before he kissed Francine goodbye and walked out after Iris.

During the whole car ride to the arena, Iris remained eerily silent. She had her eyes glued to the window in boredom and to be honest she wasn't really making an effort to be excited. Joe pulled into the parking lot and after the both of them got out he held her little hand as they walked in. Punctual as always, they were the first to arrive. The place was deserted save for her aunt Cecile, who practiced her moves on the ice. Gliding through the rink flawlessly, she performed daring feat after daring feat, from axels to flips and even skated backwards. Iris was mesmerised and her heart beat quickened. Seeing her aunt on the Ice inspired something deep inside her that she hadn't realised was hidden within.  
She found herself longing for the ice yet at the same time she was petrified by it. 

 

Cecile spotted them on the bleechers and waved as she came to a poised hault. They walked down to meet her as she exited the rink and Iris let go of her father, running towards her aunt for a hug. She might not have been excited about skating lessons but she loved her aunt. Cecile embraced her warmly and Iris's face broke into a smile. 

"How's my favourite niece? Excited for your first lesson?" she asked once they parted. 

"Aunt Cecile, I'm your only niece." Iris countered and both Cecile and Joe laughed. 

"You are definetly my sisters daughter, you little smarty pants. Go on, get your skates on and I can help you warm up while we wait," she said and Iris darted towards the changing room, giddy to get on the ice. 

"How is she?" Cecile turned to Joe once Iris was out of ear shot. 

"She's been cooped up in her room for two weeks. Barely eats, doesn't talk to anyone. I had to emotionally manipulate her, using you, just to get her here." Joe whispers. Cecile looks at him with saddened eyes. Iris was going through a rough patch but she was a strong girl and with enough support she would make it through. 

"I'll see what I can do to help, and Francine?" she asked. 

"You know your sister, she's tough as nails, if she's hurting she won't let anyone know," Joe informed her. 

"That Horton family stubbornness. I'll stop by later and see what I can pry out of her," Cecile promised with her arms crossed and her forehead furrowed in thought. 

Iris came back just then and the conversation was dropped, she wobbled a little on her skates but kept a smile on her face, determined to see this through. 

"Look at you, and your sparkly skates," Cecile mused.  
"Come on, let's get you on the ice." 

Iris hugged her dad goodbye then followed her aunt out onto the ice. Cecile held her hands as she wobbled on the slippery surface. Her legs felt slightly disconnected from her body and the fear of falling gripped at her heart. Yet, bravely, she took one shaky step at a time. 

"That's it, that's it baby. You're doing it," Cecile exclaimed as Iris glided awkwardly on the ice. 

"OK, I'm gonna let go now," Cecile said and Iris's face dropped. 

"Wait, wait, wait..." she tried but it was too late, her aunt had already let go. Iris wobbled on her feet for a few seconds before her feet slipped from under her and she came crashing on to the ice, chin first. From her place on the ground she heard muffled cackles coming from the bleechers. Cecile came to her aid, gently helping her up and lifting her head gingerly to assess the damage. Iris's chin was scrapped lightly and miniscule dots of blood decorated her chocolate skin. 

"Oh honey, come on let me get you cleaned up," she said but Iris gently pushed her away saying, 

"It's OK Aunt Cecile, I just need help getting out of here. I can take care of my own bumps and bruises." 

"Are you sure?" Cecile pressed. 

"Yeah. I'll be fine. I'm a big girl," Iris answered blinking down the tears of embarrassment that wet her eyes. Cecile knoded knowingly and helped Iris out of the rink. The rest of Cecile's class was already warming up on the ice and Iris avoided eye contact as she made her graceful exit. 

Alone in the locker room Iris sat on the bench that was attached to the wall and let herself cry. She griped onto the bench, on either side of her, as hard as she could angered by the situation she was in. She couldn't understand why everything was going so wrong. The tears ran down her cheeks, stinging when they reached her chin and she would occasionally flinch from the slight burning sensation.  
Foot steps echoed in the corridor outside, rapidly coming closer, as if the person were running towards her. The locker room door burst open and an awkward little boy stumbled in. He had a white chocolate complexion and dark brown hair. His cheeks were slightly tinted, no doubt from exertion and he was out of breath. He looked flustered and quickly took his snow jacket off. As he was about to hang it, he stopped, realising for the first time, that he wasn't alone.  
"I... I didn't see you there. I'm sorry. I'm running late. Are you also here to skate? Well you have skates on so I think so. Wait, why are you crying? What's wrong?"  
He tripped over his words and Iris couldn't help but chuckle.

"It's nothing, I just hurt myself," she answered and he studied her curiously. He came closer, taking the first aid kit that rested opposite her on the rectangular steel table, and sat down beside her. He smiled at her and Iris couldn't help but smile back. She thought he looked pretty when he smiled, it made his green eyes shine brighter, and his happiness was contagious.  
"Can I help you?" he asked with his hands rested on the kit over his lap and Iris nodded, grateful for the offer as she was too scared to do it herself. The little boy smiled brighter and got to work, gently dabbing at her wound with an alcohol soaked cotten ball and every time she flinched he'd apologise and blow on her chin lightly to help the ache go away. Once he'd bandaged her chin up he put everything back in its place and said,  
"There, all done."

Iris thanked him with a smile which he returned. 

"It was nothing really. Now all you need to do is wipe those tears off your face so we can go back to the ice," he said. Iris's smile melted away and she trained her gaze onto the floor. 

"I can't go back there. I'm too embarrassed to go back. Ice skating just isn't for me," she remarked sadly and was surprised when the little boy held out his hand to her. She looked up at him confused and he said, 

"Come on. We'll do it together. That way if you fall, I'll fall too. But we have to promise not to give up until we get it right. Deal?"  
Something about the way he said it instilled a sence of comfort in her so when she wiped her tears and took his hand she wasn't sure they'd make it as skaters but she was sure that she could trust him. He led her out of the locker room and as they made their way back to the rink she realised that they didn't know eachothers names. 

"I'm Iris by the way. What's your name?"  
"I'm Barry, Barry Allen."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll try to post the next chapter later on today so please be a little patient with me. 🙏🏾
> 
> XOXO  
> 😘😘


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not exactly when promised but as promised here's an update 💖 hope you like it 🤭
> 
> Warning : Cliffhanger

[Barry]

Seeing her again finally made him realise that he was home. From the minute the plane landed in Central City he'd been feeling a vague sence of familiarity but somehow the city felt foreign to him. His family had moved out of the little town years ago and coming back took alot of convincing. He'd left a life behind here, a special someone, and he didn't know what seeing all of it again, what seeing her again, would do to him.   
Yet there she was, same soft brown skin, same wavy black hair, same piercing brown eyes and tantalising lips. The same girl he had to force out of his mind before she drove him insane. The same Iris he'd grown to miss.

She lifted herself off of him without another word and he followed suit.

"Are you alright?" he asked genuinely and she straightened her clothes looking flustered.

"I..." she was about to respond but her voice trailed off when her eyes met his. She stared at him for a minute and he could feel her drinking him in. Hurt flashed through her eyes and her forehead creased as her eyes welled up. Without another word she bolted away from him running towards the exit.

"Iris wait!" he yelled as he charged after her he caught her by the hand and she stopped but didn't face him.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked, his voice a mere caress but Iris didn't answer. Instead she tried to pull free of him but Barry wouldn't budge.   
"Let go," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. The pain behind her tear shaken words took him by surprise and he let go of her. She walked away from him, slower this time and when she reached the doors she looked back at him. Her eyes were tear stained and he felt something inside him howl as he realised that those tears were because of him. She walked out leaving him confused with the image of her heart break burned into his memory. He stood there paralysed for a while until one of the men from the production crew came to find him.

Barry tried to carry on with the tour but his mind wasn't there and he ended up rescheduling for the next day. They would be there until the end of the week, plenty of time for him to give them a tour of his life. The documentary could wait but the inevitable conversation he had to have with Iris had been postponed for too long. Seven years too long. As he exited the building his phone buzzed and he fished it out of his jeans pockets. It was a message from his manager calling him in for a meeting. Barry knew that cancelling the shoot wouldn't go down well with Leo and missing the meeting would only make matters worse. He'd just have to find Iris later.

Anxiously, he drove to the five star hotel where they were staying and made his way up to the penthouse where he found his manager seated, cross legged on the sofa, with a glass of whiskey in hand.

"Sit down Allen," he said with the same unchanging, cold demeanour Barry had grown so used to. He did as he was told and waited as Leo took a sip of his drink, clearly enjoying the slow burn that no doubt came with it.

"Are you sick, Barry?" he asked finally not taking his eyes off of the glass in his hand.

"No, I'm..." 

"Then what marvelous miracle made you think that canceling the shoot was a good idea?" he shot Barry an expectant glance and Barry responded by leaning into the sofa and saying,

"I have something I need to take care of,"

"Does it have to do with the girl you ran into?" Leo asked and before Barry could question how he knew that he added,   
"And don't lie to me Allen, I have eyes all over the place." Barry let out a sigh of defeat and answered,

"Yes. Yes it does."

"Who is she? Some old flame you left behind?" Barry felt his cheeks flush at Leo's insinuation and quickly corrected him.

"No. Nothing happened between us, look Iris was my old figure skating partner, my first on the ice. Her aunt was my first coach so we go way back. She's my best friend. Atleast she used to be," the last line came out with a lamenting tone that Barry didn't intend but felt none the less. Leo was quiet for a while. He simply swirled the drink around in his glass, his face was marked by an expression of deep thought.

"Do you have feelings for her?" he asked suddenly, taking Barry by surprise.

"What?"

"Do. You. Have feelings for her." Leo asked again, this time he leaned forward in his seat and looked at Barry squarely as he waited for the answer.  _Yes_  a tiny voice inside Barry screamed but the words that came out of his mouth were,

"No. We're just friends. Always have been."

Satisfied with the reply Leo leaned back into his original seating position and said.

"Good, so here's what we're gonna do. You're gonna find this girl, handel whatever business you have with her then avoid her at all costs you, understand?"

"What! Why?" Barry asked confused and quickly growing impatient.

"Because whether you like her or not, that's not the story the pages are gonna spin. The media has just gotten a whiff of your relationship with Patti and for someone in your shoes there **is** such a thing as bad publicity,"

"Come on Snart," Barry whined, refering to Leo by his surname as he always did when his manager angered him.   
"Iris and I are childhood friends, I'm gonna have to mention her at some point during the documentary, she was my first ice skating partner for Pete's sake."

"Oh yeah? And how many people do you think are gonna watch your documentary if you get caught in a cheating scandal? The public already thinks you're an arrogant prick with anger management issues, this would only make matters worse." Leo counters.

"Patti and I aren't even together anymore!" Barry shouted out in frustration.

"Well to the media, the two of you are taking a break and she's flying down here at the end of the week to salvage your romance. Before you protest think about the tight spot you're in. This can help salvage your career after the stunt you pulled with Thawne Jr. Honestly, did you learn nothing from the end of your hockey career?" Leo took a slow sip of his drink allowing the information to sink in. Sensing that he wouldn't get anywhere Barry got up and got ready to leave.

"Remember Allen, no attachments," he heard Leo say as he left. Barry drove to the flower shop in a rental car before he set his GPS to Iris's childhood home. He wasn't sure if she still lived with her father or not, they hadn't exactly kept in touch after he left, but that was the last address he had for her. Driving by his old neighbourhood seemed surreal. It felt like he'd traveled back in time. Everything was exactly the way he remembered, not much had changed besides some new flowers here and there and a change in dog breeds for some of the neighbours. Everything else from the colours of the houses to some of the cars on the outside looked exactly the way they did on the morning he moved out with his mom and dad. Everything including the quaint little house he once called a second home. The sight of those stairs made him nostalgic for the many afternoons and evenings that he spent out there with Iris. They used to talk about all sorts of things and those conversations became his favourite part of the day. There was no danger, no ice, no coach, no costumes. Just him and her being themselves.

He stopped just before the first step, looking up at the house with flowers in his hands the way he did on prom night and just like that night he took a deep breath in and walked up, releasing it when be reached door and knocked three times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who doesn't love a good love hate relationship right?? 😂 Right now I'm writing as it comes to me and have no idea how this story is going to unfold. Guess we'll be both be surprised as it goes 🤭🤭🤭
> 
> Quick side note for those who are waiting on an update for "Hostage" I'm working on it. You should have it by this weekend 💖
> 
> Less than two weeks left before TF is back. Can't wait 🤭🤭😍 
> 
> XOXO   
> 💕💕


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is kind of a flashback in a flashback and then we go back to the present 😝 hope it doesn't get confusing and hope you like it 😘😊
> 
> Warning: Cliffhanger 🤭
> 
> XOXO   
> 💞💞

[Flashback]

The door opened and Iris's mom looked at him with an inviting smile. He returned it, trying his best not to let his anxiousness leak through his expression. He'd never been more nervous in his life and he didn't understand why, it was just Iris. Barry and Iris had been skating partners since their very first event at ten and had been inseparable for seven years. Maybe, he thought, it had to do with the new way he'd been looking at her. It started off suddenly. A strand of hair would come lose during practise and as he tucked it away behind her ear it would no longer just be a friendly gesture. This time he'd notice the softness of her skin and the depth of her eyes. Everything around him would stop as he'd slowly realise just how pretty she was. That year when they were competing, the minute he saw her in her costume he ran short of air.  His eyes grazed over her and he started noticing little changes in her body that made him tense.  _"When did Iris get so hot?"_ he'd wondered, praying that his attraction for her didn't distract him on the ice. His prayers were answered. Her beauty didn't distract him, if anything it made their on stage...well, ice, chemistry that much more undeniable which left him questioning whether she felt it too, and made his revelation that night, that much more heartbreaking.

Upstairs, in her room, Iris was a pile of nerves. She'd finished getting ready exactly twenty minutes before Barry got there but she couldn't bring herself to move. She stared at her reflection, her uncertainty visible in her lightly made up eyes.  
"Why did you say yes?" she asked herself, questioning her acceptance to Barry's invitation to junior prom. He was so sweet when he asked her...

* * *

 

They had just took first place at regionals and were celebrating at Jitters when he pulled her aside and asked her to meet him up on the roof. She did as he requested and found him with his hands in his jeans pockets staring out at the city.  
"Beautiful, isn't it?" she asked as she wrapped her arms around him from behind and playfully squeezed. It was an action that she only allowed to last for a few seconds because she new that extended contact might make Barry aware of her draw to him and that's a line she wasn't ready to cross just yet. She let go and he turned around to face her. He looked at her for a meaningful second then said,  
"Yeah, it really is," but he said it in a tone that made her question whether he was talking about the city or her.  
 _Probably the city_ , she decided, chalking up her confusion to wishful thinking.   
"So what did you want to talk to me about?" she asked trying to change the subject while wrapping her arms around herself to keep out the evening chill. Noticing her cold Barry shrugged off his black blazer and placed it over her. She thanked him for the gesture, praying that the lighting was dim enough to conceal her blush.  
"Better?" he asked and she noded with a smile.

"Much, thank you."

"You're welcome, and to answer your previous question I...actually called you up here for two reasons." he said extracting one of his hands from his pocket and opening it to reveal a small, circular, golden cardboard box.

"The first was to give you this," he added then he opened the box and from it, took a white gold and diamond snowflake pin. Iris's eyes opened wide in surprise and Barry smiled as he noticed how not even the precious stones on the intricate piece could out shine her eyes.

"Barry, its beautiful," she gasped out passing her finger softly across its shiny surface.

"But, what's the occasion?" she asked, searching his eyes for a response.

"It's a congratulations gift, a present to celebrate our going to nationals," he answered as he took the pin from the box and pinned it onto her dress. She looked at it lovingly before directing her teary gaze back to him.

"Thank you," she said, genuinely moved by his thoughtfulness, and stood on the tips of her toes to hug him.

"I feel terrible, I didn't get you a gift," she said into his hair and he rubbed her back kindly before letting go.

"It's OK, I already have that figured out," he answered and she looked at him confused.

"It would... be the greatest gift ever if you gave me the privilege of being my date for junior prom," he said practically tripping over his words out of nervousness. Iris stared at him stunned, making Barry even more worried.

"Or maybe not, I don't know. Do you have another date, or..."  
Iris cut off his rambling by jumping into his arms screaming,

"Yes! Yes! A million times yes!"

He hugged her back, relief kicking in with a side of disbelief.

"Really?" he asked and she let go of him so that she could look into his eyes when she said,

"There's no one I'd rather go with."

* * *

 

[Iris]

She stroked the pendant gently with her finger as memories of that night and the aftermath of junior prom pounded through her head. She'd driven home in a mad fury, determined to let go of everything that still connected her to Barry Allen, but when she grabbed that pendant the memories came flooding back and the heartache made her weak. She slumped to the floor and cried. She hadn't held that pendant since that night and hadn't cried about him in almost as much time, but seeing him opened up the wounds she so desperately tried to hide. Each dissapointment she rembered made her hurt more until eventually she was numb with pain and that's exactly when the anger began to build. She was angry at all he put her through. Angry that he came back, but most of all angry that he still had an effect on her.

"Snap out of it West!" she scolded herself, making an internal decision that from that day forward she wouldn't give him that much power over her. From that day on she wouldn't feel butterflies at the mere mention of his name, nor hurt at the sight of his face. She wouldn't allow herself to be spell bound by those sea green eyes nor...  
A knock at the door interrupted her train of thought and she wiped her face as she made her way down to see who it was.

"Who is it?" she asked on her way to the door.

"Iris, it's me," came his voice from the otherside stopping her in her tracks. Her emotions started to build up again but this time she stopped the avalanche before it hit the land bellow.  
 _You've got the power. Not him._  she thought to herself then she straightened her back, drained all emotion from her face and strutted to the door, flinging it open violently.

"What do you want?"


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I've been taking so long it's been wild.
> 
> Quick question, do you feel like the story is perhaps losing momentum? I'd love to know what you guys think, is it too slow? Taking too long to get to the point? Not enough angst?
> 
> I'm a work in progress so if you find someplace you think needs improving please feel free to let me know 😚❤️
> 
> Enjoy the chapter   
> XOXO 😘

[Flashback] 

 

His heart stopped, replaced by the sound of her high heeled steps coming down the stairs. Her hand caressed the railing as she came down looking like a vision from a dream. Barry took all of her in. From her dark hair that was wavy and pulled to hang over one shoulder, to her exposed neckline, to her sparkling red dress. The dress started with two, off the shoulder straps that were in line with the form fitting, glittery top half of the dress before it fell (from her waist) to just above her knee, in shimmering chiffon. Pinned to it was the snowflake pendant he'd given her. Each graceful step she took made him feel like she was reaching towards his heart and when she stopped right in front of him, he felt something inside him change, something that told him that his life would never be complete without her... 

 

[Barry]

 

Regret hung from his heart strings as he stood in the threshold of the door and saw the coldness in her eyes. Those same eyes that with a single look could make him go weak at the knees now stared him down with a steely determination not to let him through.

 

"Allen!" she yelled and he snapped out of his day dream.

"Huh?" he huffed out disoriented,

"Oh right, what am I doing here...Um I," he stumbled and she sighed out in exasperation.

"Look if you're here about what happened at the rink then there's no need to apologise. I ran into you, we're both fine, no harm no foul. Thanks for dropping by," she said and proceeded to close the door. Barry stopped it with his hand and said, 

 

"Hey, come on. Does an old friend really need an excuse to come over,"

 

"We're not friends Barry, we haven't been for a long time," she said bluntly, taking Barry by surprise.

 

"Since when?" he asked and she folded her arms and thrust out her hip before replying.

 

"Um let's see, since you ruined juinor prom, since you left without saying goodbye, since you forgot my 18th birthday...I could go on if you'd like," she said, listing all the reasons with her fingers. 

 

"Iris come on. You told me you were fine with me leaving and we left early that morning the goodbye letter I wrote you explained that. And I'm sorry about your birthday, I had an event that day that I couldn't miss,"

 

"What about every other birthday Barry? Did you have events then too? And what about my mother's funeral? What happened then Barry?" she asked, her voice soft but forceful. Barry felt his heart constrict and a lump formed in his throat. 

He racked his brain for a response but none felt good enough. 

 

"Barry?" came a familiar voice from behind him. 

 

"Is that you?" he turned around to see Joe making his way towards them. His face lit up when he recognized the young man standing at his door. 

 

"It is you! Come here stranger," he exclaimed before he enveloped Barry in a massive father-bear hug. Barry hugged him back as they both shared a laugh, one glad to see the other. But the happiness was short lived as Iris cleared her throat and said, 

 

"I'll be in my room if you need me,"

 

"Baby girl wait. Your aunt called me and asked what happened to you. She had to cancel the class cause you weren't there,"

 

"I don't want to talk to about it," she said, already making her way up the stairs. 

 

Joe sighed in sad frustration and watched his daughter slip from view with a worried expression on his face. 

 

"What's wrong with her?" Barry asked, knowing that look all to well. Joe had a worry look reserved for each of his children and this one had Iris's name all over it. 

 

"I wish I knew Bare. I wish I knew. She hasn't stepped on the ice in five years and.." 

 

"Five years?! What? Why?" 

 

"PTSD. She never got over that accident."

 

"Accident? What accident? How did I not know about this?" Barry asked, his tone urgent. 

 

"It was a practice session and Cecile managed to keep it all hush hush. Iris got hurt pretty bad and hasn't skated since. It's a shame really, she really was something," Joe answered and Barry nodded in agreement but his mind was far from the conversation. He was wondering where things had gone wrong. When did he push Iris so far from him that he was no longer apart of her life? When had their friendship and partner ship dissolved into nothing? He was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't notice when Joe got an emergency call and had to leave.

 

Alone, he sat down on the stairs, with the bouquet still in his hands and all his thoughts lead him back to that night, prom night, the night it all began to fall apart... 

 

* * *

His heart hammered in his chest as he led her out into the dance floor, but everytime he looked at her, he was reminded of everything that he would be leaving behind and a part of him died with the realisation. She smiled at him and his stomach flipped with nervousness. The music vibrated through him and he turned to face her with their hands still intertwined. He placed his free hand on her waist and led her in an awkward side-to-side sway to the music. 

 

"Are you alright Bare?" she asked and he looked at her like a deer caught in headlights. 

*Does she know? Is she baiting me? Should I answer? If I stay quiet will that confirm her suspicions?* 

The questions bounced around in his head until eventually Iris chucked. 

 

"OK something is definitely up. Seriously Bare, relax. It's just dancing. Think of it as figure skating without the skates," she said. 

 

"Iris, you can't figure skate without skates," he answered, putting on a grin and forcing his body to loosen up. 

 

"Sure you can!" she exclaimed. 

 

"How?" he asked with a slight and playful eye roll. 

 

"Well first," she said as she took the hand that was in hers and placed it on her waist then she wrapped her arms around his neck and reduced the distance between them. 

 

"Much better. Now loosen up, keep your feet on the ground but pretend we're performing one of your routines and...have fun Bare." she said and smiled kindly. Something about the sweet tone of her voice when she said that, like she was having the best night of her life and wanted him to share in it with her. It was the last night he was ever going to get like this with her. The last night he was ever going to be able to pretend like they were something more than partners...more than friends. With this in mind he forced his task out of his thoughts and pulled Iris a little closer to him. She chuckled and with that he waltzed her across the floor, each swoop, dip and sway an effortless piece of the graceful puzzle he was putting together. They danced with finesse and he noticed how easily Iris was able to follow his every move. Her body willingly gave in to each commanding touch all without losing rhythm, they were the perfect pair. After a few songs Iris excused herself to retouch her make up, giving Barry more than enough time to get his dreaded mission plan back into focus. He had to tell her, she had to hear it from him. It was now or never. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all!! Sorry for making you wait so long. This flashback might give you some insight into how both Barry and Iris are feeling (or atleast how these feelings started), and I just thought I'd warn you.... Its a little heartbreaking so read with caution.
> 
> XOXO   
> 😘😘

[Flashback]

It was now or never. She looked at herself in the ladies room mirror, with her arms braced on the counter and her face flushed from the dancing. The way they moved together, so easily, so in sync, only reassured what she already knew. They were meant for eachother. Meant to be together. She knew what she felt and after the past few days - from their undeniable chemistry during regionals to his invitation to prom and the way his hand felt so perfectly at home on her waist - she was almost certain that he felt it too. She was gonna do it. She was gonna take a stand and tell him how she felt. Yeah. Why does the guy always have to be the one to have the first word? We live in the 21st century, she could do it. #feminism.  
She blinked a few times then with a final, confident nod at her touched up reflection  she made her way out of the restroom and towards the gymnasium. Her steps slowed when she saw Barry waiting for her at the doors. He looked nervous...more than usual...but then again he'd been on edge all night and Iris hoped it had something to do with him feeling for her what she felt for him.

"Hey, you OK?" she asked once she was close enough that he could hear her.

"Um, yeah. Yeah. Just...walk with me," he said and placed his hand on her back leading her outside. They sat down on the bleechers, the sounds of the dance were distant and mingled with the nights cry and the moon was full, providing all the light they needed.

"Barry I,"  
"Listen Iris,"

They both chuckled at their simultaneous conversation starters and Barry offered to let Iris go first but she insisted he take the chance. He took a good look at her, committing her sweet expression to memory. He knew her, he knew that after he opened his mouth and told her he was leaving she'd hate him and those sweet doe eyes that she seemed to save just for him would be locked away forever.

"I...don't know how to say this," he started shakily.  
She placed her hand on his back and rubbed it in slow circles so as to soothe his nerves, consequently making him feel like even more of a dick.

"It's OK Bare, it's just me. It's Iris. You can tell me anything," she reassured him in a low, kind voice. Her own nerves were neatly tucked away as she focused on helping her best friend.

"It's just, I don't want to hurt you," he said, his eyes frightened and regretful.

* _He knows,_ * she thinks to herself as her heart rate picks up. * _He knows and he doesn't feel the same way._ * The tears started forming just beneath the surface but she blinked them away and tried to force those negative thoughts out of her mind.

"I won't hate you. I could never hate you Barry," she said while trying to keep her voice steady.

"You promise?" he asked, not willing to take any chances. Iris wasn't one to break a promise so maybe if he could get her to swear she wouldn't hate him their friendship stood a chance. It was childish, yes but he was desperate and it made sense.

"What?" she asked, surprised by his request.

"Do you promise not to hate me?" he asked again.

"Barry, come on..."

"Iris please," he pleaded and she found herself slipping away from nervousness and into worry.

"I promise," she affirmed. "Barry what's going on? You're scaring me,"

* _Here goes nothing_ *

"I'm leaving," he announced, ripping the band aid off at once.

"I don't understand, leaving where?" Iris asked, genuinely confused.

"I'm leaving Central City," he explained. Taken aback by the news, Iris removed her hand from her resting place on his back and looked out into the empty field.  
"My dad got a better offer at a hospital in Keystone and they're sending him to London for a year for some sort of special training course." he added.

"When, when are you leaving?" she asked, her gaze not drifting from the dew wet grass.

"Tomorrow morning,"  
That got her attention and Iris turned to him with a conflicted expression.

"Does that mean that..."

"I can't be your partner at nationals? Yeah," he answered.

Iris took in a sharp, cold breath and covered her mouth with both her hands. She leaned forward, her elbows digging into her thighs, and opened her eyes wide so that the night breeze could dry her tearing eyes.

"Iris, I'm so sorry. I..."

"Don't go," she whispered.

"What?" he asked, surprised by her request.

"Don't go. Stay here, with us, with me," she said turning around to face him and taking his hands in hers.

"Iris, where would I stay?" he asked, trying to bring her back down to reality.

"You could stay with us. My parents wouldn't mind, they love you," she said with a teary smile.

"Iris," he breathed out. He knew it would be hard but he never thought that it would feel like it did. Like he was being slowly cut in half by a blunt chainsaw. Iris got the message in his sigh loud and clear. He didn't want to stay, she wasn't going to convince him otherwise. The thought struck her like hot iron on flesh, searing a wound in her heart that she wasn't sure was ever going to heal. She wasn't important enough to make him stay. She didn't mean as much to him. She let go of his hand and stared at her feet, this time she let her tears flow.

"Forget I said anything, I get it, you have to go," she said.

"Iris..."

"Its fine Barry I get it," she sobbed and stood up to leave but he held her hand.

"Please don't go yet, I can't leave things between us like this I just can't," he begged.

"Barry, please, don't make this any harder than it already is. You have to go and I have to let you go..."

"What do you mean let me go?" he said, his voice sounding a tad bit hopeful.

"Nothing, just please let go of my hand," she sobbed still not daring to look him in the eye. Barry stood up and turned her around then placed one hand on each of her cheeks and turned her face up so that their eyes met. With his thumbs he wiped away her tears and gave her a pained smile. He hated himself for hurting her. He didn't want to leave, but something about the way he felt, scared him. It was too sudden and foreign and powerful an emotion. He didn't understand it and that was the source of his fear. However, it wasn't just a fear of the unknown. It was also a fear of rejection. Fear that she didn't feel the same way. Fear that if he stayed he'd either be doomed to be the best friend, watching her be happy with other guys while he lurked in the shadows. Seeing her cry over someone else when he knew he could make her happy.

Or he could tell her...and risk her saying that she didn't want him. Risk losing the bond they already had, risk losing her for good. It was too great a risk. Loosing her was too high a price to pay. Yet somehow, in that moment as he looked down at her hurt eyes that reflected the stars, with the knowledge of those being their final hours together weighing heavy on his heart, he felt like he had nothing to lose. He felt an undeniable pull towards her and he gave in. No second guesses, no time to overthink, their lips touched and that was the beginning of the end.

He expected her to pull away but instead she surprised him by giving in. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer, knocking the air out of him. She felt herself slip away, felt herself give in to her emotions with a total sence of security that he felt the same way. But a voice in her head kept telling her to stop, to pull away. He was leaving, she couldn't afford to let herself fall for him or she'd never get back up, she'd never recover. When they came up for air she felt the tears sting as she looked into his eyes, still a glow with a passionate fervor. She knew what she had to do, as much as it hurt she had to do it. For the both of them. So that they could both move on with their lives. With her heart shattering at her every word she opened her mouth and said,

"Goodbye Barry."

Then she turned around, not noticing the way in which the light bled out of his stare, and walked away without a second glance back. That night, sleep paid neither of them a visit and when morning came, with her eyes red and swollen from crying and exhaustion, Iris watched from her window, as the Allen's car drove away, taking Barry out of her life forever.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait I had the busiest week but I'm trying to update as frequently as I can ❤️
> 
> This one is a bit of a mysterious chapter and I hope you like it 😍 once again thanks for the patience 😘😘😘
> 
> XOXO   
> 💜💜

[Iris]

She woke up with a mild headache and fresh tears stained her cheeks. Her whole body felt drained of all energy and she had a feeling her emotional exhaustion had something to do with it. But how else was she supposed to be feeling? In a single day she faced her worst nightmare, got her heart broken all over again and realised that seven years weren't enough to erase the memories of the love she never got to have. He'd kissed her then left the next day without so much as a goodbye. That broke her, it made her question everything about herself until she was a giant ball of insecurities just waiting for some ass hole to take advantage of. And some ass hole did.

* * *

_The weather outside was downright scary which meant that Jitters was alive with people seeking shelter from the rain and a little something to ward off the cold. 18 year old Iris smiled down at a little girl before she placed the steaming cup of hot chocolate in front of her._   
_"Watch out Stacey," she warned and the little girl smiled back, and said:_   
_"I know. It's hot."_

_"Atta girl." Iris remarked before she made her way back to the counter._   
_"I need a Mocha and a Chai latte for tabel three please," she told Sam who was maning the espresso machine._   
_"Comin' right up," he said_   
_"Thanks Sam," she exclaimed with a wink but didn't have time to enjoy the blush that spread across the young man's face as the bell above the door announced the arrival of another customer. With a tired but chirpy sigh she grabbed her notepad off the counter and headed towards a tabel in the far corner where the new comer was making himself comfortable. Iris's steps faltered as the stranger took off his coat and hat, revealing a golden mess of hair (that he tapped down with his hands) and startling blue eyes. He sat down and picked up the menu and Iris pushed herself forward, making a mental note not to stare._

_"Welcome to CC Jitters. I'm Iris and I'll be your waitress today, what can I get you?" she asked, flashing him one of her sky brightening smiles. He looked up at her and when his eyes met hers, his smile fell._   
_"Wow," he said, his eyes wide with astonishment._   
_"What?" she asked, suddenly worried and he smiled making her knees tremble slightly._   
_"Nothing, it's just...your smile, it's beautiful," he complimented and Iris felt her cheeks heat up._   
_"Oh uh, thank you," she blushed and they shared a chuckle._   
_"Cappachino," he said and she looked at him confused._   
_"My order?" he clarified with another sweet chuckle and she closed her eyes and shook her head to clear her mind._   
_"Right. Sorry uh, coming right up," she said then spun on her heel, cursing herself for the embarrassment she'd just faced and made her way back to the counter to place his order....._

* * *

If only she'd known the wolf that hid behind those blue eyes and boy scout smile. Maybe she wouldn't have let her self be charmed by his compliments or made a home out of his embrace. Maybe she would have kept her distance and wouldn't have faced the consequences. Maybe she wouldn't have allowed him to put her back together in his own twisted way but unfortunately she didn't know any better. When she met Eddie Thawne she was still licking her Barry inflicted wounds. Still trying to piece back the parts of her heart that worked, drowning herself in work in a feble attempt to forget that life was meant to be lived. She was vulnerable and needy and he was there. So she gave in and was forever changed by what happened. Yet somehow she never blamed Eddie for her trauma, she blaimed Barry. If he hadn't left, if he hadn't broken her the way he had then she wouldn't have met Eddie, wouldn't have agreed to be his skating partner and wouldn't have gotten hurt the way she did.

Bile rose at the back of her throat as repressed thoughts came floating to the surface. She rushed to the bathroom with her hand over her mouth and made it just in time to throw her disgust up. Her body shuddered as she dry heaved once she'd puked all there was to puke. Her headache worsened and she layed herself down on the cool bathroom floor in an attempt to make herself feel better. She wasn't sure her body could take much more of this torture. Iris closed her eyes against all the sensations and forced the dreadful memories back down, clearing her mind. For a brief moment...there was peace. The sound of her ringtone burst her safety bubble and she tried to wait it out, but it was no use. Who ever was on the other end was persistent. With a defeated sigh, she got up and walked back to her bedroom.

"Hello?" she answered, flopping down onto her bed with her eyes closed while using her fingers to rub her forehead.  
"Oh good you picked up. Listen Iris I need you down at the rink stat," came her aunt's voice from the other end.  
"Aunt Cecile I love you but I feel terrible right now and this morning was a complete disaster...."  
"Stop your whining and get down here or I'll come get you myself! See you in a few, toodles," she said then hung up robbing Iris of a chance to protest. Iris dropped the phone and stared up at the ceiling.  
"Well, this day can't get any worse anyways," she said before she got up and got ready to go.  
She later found out that these were words spoken too soon.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK so I'm on a bit of a role and as promised this chapter is a little longer. 😍
> 
> Hope you like it and careful there's a teeny tiny cliffhanger at the end. 🤭

[Flashback]

The sound of the crowd seeped in through the walls of the locker room and Barry tried his best to drown it out. This was his pre-game ritual. After everyone made their way towards the exit to wait for their grand team entrance, he stayed behind in the locker room for five minutes to get himself centered before he joined them. In his hand he held a picture of Iris that he took after her first game as a cheerleader. She was in her red and white uniform and down on one knee with her hands outstretched on either side of her as they held on to her red pom poms. Her hair was held up by a crimson ribbon and her face smiled back in a playfully seductive look. He missed her more than he could put into words. He longed to see her again, to hear her laugh, to catch her in his arms on the ice and revel in the notion of her undivided trust in him. He thought about calling her but judging by the fact that she hadn't returned any of his texts or his letters he felt it would be best to stay away. Give her some space. He just didn't know how much more space he could give her. It had been two years since he'd left, two years since they'd last spoken, how much more time did she need.  
He let out a sigh of frustration and passed his hand over his hair.

"Why won't you talk to me Iris?" he asked the picture.  
"Don't you know how much I miss you? How much I..."  
 _Love you,_ he finished the sentence off in his head not daring to say it out loud, never out loud. Saying it out loud would be admitting a truth he'd been trying to hide all this time. A truth that would consume him and leave him completely trapped because there's nothing he could do about it. Yet another frustrated sigh escaped his lips and he closed his eyes to get his mind back in the game. He thought about they're last event together, how beautiful she looked, how her hand slipped naturally into his, how her eyes glimmered in the spotlight. He conjured up his inner perfectionist and felt his chest warm with the sudden determination to win.  
"I won't let you down Iris." he whispered.

"Iris? Did you say Iris? Sounds like my ex girlfriends name," comes the obnoxious voice of none other than Eddie Thawne. Barry opens his eyes clearly annoyed at the interruption.  
"What do you want Thawne?" he growled not trying to hide his disillusionment.  
"Nothing, coach just sent me back here to get you Allen and what do I find?" before Barry had a chance to register what was happening, Eddie snatched the picture from his hand. A satisfied grin spread across his face once he set eyes on the beauty in the image and Barry felt a knot of disgust form in his stomach.

"Well what do you know? It is my ex girlfriend," Eddie laughed as Barry ripped the photo from his grasp and turned towards his locker to put away.  
"Dang Barry, did you hit that?" he asked with an amused smile and the disgust seemed to increase.  
"Shut up Thawne!" Barry warned. He'd always hated the narcissistic pric. If they weren't on a team together he would have kicked his ass six weeks to Sunday on the firts day they became team mates.  
"Uh huh, OK so I'm gonna take that as a no and you know what? Judging from that picture you didn't miss out on much. Now though..." he let out an obscene whistle that made Barry's fingers curl deep into his palms till they formed a tightly wound fist at his side.  
"Trust me man, her jugs..." Barry shut him up with a single blow to his lower jaw which sent an unsuspecting Eddie realling back.  
"What the fuck man? Its not my fault I got to tap that ass and you didn't," Eddie yelled back his hand nursing his undoubtedly injured chin.  
"Don't you dare speak about her like that ever again! Do you understand?," Barry cautioned him before he slammed his locker shut and started walking away. He didn't make it further then three steps before he was ambushed from behind. Eddie's arm wrapped around his neck, robing him of air and sending his anger flying through the roof.   
"What are yah jealous huh? Jealous that it was my name she yelled out? Jealous that she begged me to fuck her? That it was my hand that fisted her hair while she sucked my...." Barry had heard enough.

He struggled his body around until his back faced a wall and he ran backwards into it, his assailant absorbing all the impact. Eddie let go but Barry was too far gone to care, no one talked about Iris like that. Especially not some dick head who didn't know her. He landed on to the man's jaw yet again before injuring his left eye and lip. Without a breath he held Eddie by the shoulders and kneed him where it hurt. Eddie howled in pain as he bent over and fell and if it weren't for the sudden interference of their team mates Barry wasn't sure he would have stopped there.  
"Allen! What are ya nuts?!" screamed the coach, his voice booming with anger.  
"Sorry coach. But he asked for it."  
"Yeah well sorry's not gonna cut it! Get out of here you're off today's game!" he hollered sobering Barry up real quick.  
"But coach..."  
"Up...up, up, up, up. You don't get a say in this. Get your ass out of my face before I permanently kick you out of this team."  
Still energised from the fight and dissapointed at the evenings events Barry shot Eddie a hateful look before he grabbed his belongings and banged the lockers on his way out...

* * *

 

He could still feel a trace of residual anger burning inside him as he thought about that night. After watching the day turn into noon on the West's porch Barry had finally gathered enough strength to make his way back to the hotel. As soon as he got in he made a break for the shower, hoping that the warm water paired with the showers pressure would massage the days events off of his body and relax his tense muscles. But he had no such luck, the picture of Iris's hurt expression kept flashing at him everytime he closed his eyes so he got out, dried off, wrapped himself in a bath robe and reached for his wallet. From it he took the picture that had been his lucky charm until that night, and seeing it took him on a trip down memory lane. Atleast this expression wouldn't make him crumble with guilt.

He admired the picture (that he'd already committed to memory) for hours until a message on his phone brought his attention back from his thoughts. It was a message from Snart. A request...well rather a command, to have Barry meet him at the rink. Barry was confused to say the least but after the day's events he was too tired to protest and simply got dressed and headed out. He found Snart cheerfully chatting and sipping a cup of coffee with his old skating coach, Cecile Horton. Those seven years seemed to barely have touched her and if not but for the obvious swelling of her expecting belly he would have said she looked exactly the same.   
"Barry?! Is that really you? Gosh what a dashing young man you've grown into," she squealed when she saw him approach. Barry smiled genuinely and bent down to hug her, the feeling some what nostalgic.

"Nice to see you too Madam Cecile," he said taking a seat opposite his agent on the other side of her desk.   
"What nonsense, it's just Cecile now. As much as it pains me to say I am no longer your skating coach," she says with a playful wag of her index finger. The three shared a comfortable laugh that was interrupted by Iris's arrival.   
"Iris," Barry uttered shocked and his eyes, like hers opened wide. She looked exhausted and her eyes were puffy and red, a clear indication that she'd been crying. Barry worried if those signs of distress where because of him and hated himself for putting her through such pain regardless of whether or not he was to blame.

"Aunt Cecile...?" Iris sang, her brows scrunching up in confusion.   
"What's going on?"   
Cecile and Snart exchanged meaning full glances before the elder of the two ladies spoke.   
"Well, Barry. Iris. Snart and I, we..."  
"Have a proposal for you." Snart finished for her before taking a sip of his coffee to let the revelation sink in. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again sorry about the cliffhanger but I hope you like the chapter 😅
> 
> The Flashback might not make immediate sense but it will in the next two chapters so don't worry if you're a little confused. ❤️
> 
> I wanted to let you know (for those of you interested) that I decided to turn Hostage into a full blown story however not as a fan fic but as an original piece. Let me know if you're interested and I'll give you the deets 🤭
> 
> Also I'm working on another WA fan fic and I wanted to know if you'd rather I finish Frozen Hearts before giving you another fic to explore or if you want it all now 😂😂😂❤️
> 
>  
> 
> Let me know what you think, remeber I love hearing from you 💕 enjoy your weekend 😍
> 
> XOXO   
> 💜💜


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry. I know I promised this yesterday but life got in the way 😩❤️  
> Just a quick note, Iris's Flashback happened earlier than Barry's (as you'll see during her Flashback she's still with Eddie while during his Eddie is her ex) hope this takes care of any confusion that may occur 🤭❤️  
> Thanks for being patient and I hope you all enjoy 😘❤️
> 
> XOXO  
> 💜🖤

[Iris]

 

"Well this outta be good," she exhaled as she took a seat. Barry directed a curios glance at the man who was casually sipping his cup of coffee. Iris guessed that Barry was as surprised as she was, and just as egure.

"Allen. Take a seat." Snart suggested, his voice a chillingly calm sound. The only seat available was the couch she was seated on, and he looked at her nervously. She sighed out in defeat and scooched over, giving him silent permission to sit next to her. He did so but his entire demeanour was tense, Iris was glad to see that he realised his place regarding her. 

"Can we please get this over with so that I can return to nursing my maddening migraine?" she huffed, folding her arms and leaning back into her seat. 

"Are...are you alright?" Barry asked, clearing his throat in between and she held her laugh in as she realised just how nervous she made him. 

"I'm fine. I just want to go back home, crawl into bed and forget the world exists."

"But you stayed, which clearly means you're interested," Cecile sung and Iris tensed up for a brief second. She hated it when her aunt used her actions to judge her emotions. Why couldn't she be like normal people and wonder what things meant? 

"It's not interest, it's merely curiosity," Iris lied. 

"Well, enough with the chitt chatt here's the deal. Cecile and I signed you both up for the CC figure skating sectionals. As a pair."

"What?!" came Iris and Barry's collective protest before they exchanged a glance that confirmed the obserdity of what they'd just heard. 

"Now, now hear us out," Cecile tried to appease her but Iris was already up and storming her way towards the door. 

"Iris honey, please. Just..."

"No Aunt Cecile! You more than anyone know why I can't get on the ice. And I'd rather take my chances with a snake then skate with him. Atleast then I'd know what kinda of danger I'd be putting myself in!" 

She yelled without slowing her step nor turning around. Her heart was pounding in her ears out of pure fear and frustration. Fear of the possibility of having to step onto the ice and frustration at the thought of having to do it with him. Fool her once shame on him, fool her twice...you get the picture. 

She jolted in surprise when a hand wrapped around her forearm and stopped her in her tracks. 

It came as a shock to Iris that even after seven years her body still had embedded in its very core the memory of his touch. 

"Let go Bartholomew." she commanded and he did as he was told, taking a small step back to give her some space. 

"Iris I know that they had no right to go behind our backs like that and I'm not condoning it but shouldn't we atleast hear them out?" he tried to convince her but she turned around to face him with her features set on a determined expression and her arms folded across her chest. 

"Well if you're so interested in their proposition then please, by all means, go a head and listen. Have fun performing a pairs routine solo." she snapped then turned on her heel and marched on. 

"Iris please! Wait!" he chased after her. 

 "Not gonna happen Allen!" she screamed back while picking up her pace. 

"Why not?! Just answer me that. What have you got to lose?" he challenged. 

"Everything!" she screamed stopping to face him. 

"Everything that I've worked for, for the last seven years! Do you have any idea what I've gone through since you left?" the words catapulted out of her but she caught herself just in time to keep her dignity intact. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction of relishing in her pain. 

She still remembered the day she'd given up on them. The day she decided to push Bartholomew Henry Allen out of her mind for good... 

 

[Flashback] 

 

She turned this way and that infront of the full body mirror and had to admit to herself that she looked pretty darn good. Linda had come over and introduced her hair to a curling iron then Caitlyn had helped her with her make up. Then she sat down for half an hour and watched the two debate between a pair of black leather shorts or a pink leather mini skirt. Finally they both agreed that pink was way too sweet 16 and put together a look consisting of the winning shorts, a red loose fit crop top, a black blazer and some black high heeled sandals. She looked scandalous but then again she'd only turn 18 once so she might as well enjoy it. 

"I am so glad your father and mother are out of town. Mr West would surely bam you from seeing us after this." Linda chuckled while her eyes gave Iris an approving once over glance. Iris tried to smile but it didn't reach her eyes. The whole "out of town" story was just that, a story. The truth was that her mother's illness had worsened. The cancer had spread to her other breast and all the doctors in Central City weren't too optimistic about her condition. Joe and Francine were in Keystone seeking a fifth opinion. They'd purposely scehcdueld the appointment to match her birthday (despite her protests) because her mother wanted Iris to have fun for the night, not worry about whether or not she was in pain. 

 "Are you OK hun?" Caitlyn chirped and Iris blinked fast not to ruin her make up. 

"Um yeah, yeah totally. I just really can't thank you both enough for this," she said, thinking on her feet for an excuse to cover up how emotional she was. 

"Awww. We love you too hot stuff," Linda teased getting up to give Iris a hug which she gratefully received. It wasn't the hug she needed, or rather from the person she needed, but it would suffice. 

"I want in on all this." Caitlyn chuckled before she got up and joined the hug. 

 

The door bell rang, interrupting their bonding moment and Iris looked out her window to confirm who it was. The car parked out front told her that Eddie, Scott and Ronnie were at the door, and not a moment too soon either. Iris was beginning to feel like it was all a huge mistake. 

"Time to go!" Linda squealed, clapping her hands excitedly. 

"You two go ahead I'm gonna phone my aunt and see how she's holding up with Wally." Iris said, it wasn't a complete lie she simply omitted part of the truth. The two girls agreed and left giving her a moment of privacy. 

She looked down at her phone and scrolled through her messages till she found his name. 

 

_We had to leave early this morning, sorry I couldn't say goodbye. We should really talk about last night Iris, I'll call you once I get my new phone number in London._

And then almost as if it were an after thought he added:

_I miss you already._

 

That was it. No silly joke, no heart eye emojis, no calling her by her nick name but the feature that bothered her most of all was that for the first time since they'd started that tradition he hadn't ended the message with "I love you". That was the real slap in the face. The one detail that told her that the kiss they shared meant nothing. Her suspicion was agrivated by the fact that, that was the last time she'd heard from him. He didn't even remember her birthday. A single tear slipped from her eyes and she quickly blinked the rest back, not wanting to cry over it anymore. 

That chapter of her life was in the past. She was going to go out with a group of friends that loved her and a boyfriend that was drop dead gorgeous and from that day on she wouldn't think about him ever again. New age, new her. 

After a quick call to check up on her aunt and brother (both were surprisingly fine) she met up with her friends and they drove into the night. 

 

The evening was eventful, they club hopped, had their fair share of alcoholic beverages, danced till the room began to spin and in the dark and early hours of the next day she gave herself to Eddie, officialising her status as a grown woman. Part of her new that the thoughtless decision was a consequence of one too many tequila shots. But the other part of her, the part of her that insisted on hurting her with the truth, knew that it was simply her trying to forget about Barry...

 

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really trying my best to update as much as possible so as to make up for lost time and I thank you all for being patient with me😍❤️, I truly appreciate it. This chapter is a bit of a crisis fixer and i hope it answers some of the questions you've had regarding the Barry and Iris's relationship post prom.🤗
> 
> Just a quick side note before I let you read up. ShipersAnonymous has joines Wattpad so for those of you interested don't be shy and check out what I have in store. 😍😍
> 
> Hope you enjoy!
> 
> XOXO  
> 🖤💜

[Flashback]

_Safe Travels, I’ll be waiting for your call. I miss you too._

That’s how he knew that their relationship had changed forever. Her message was bland, bare and emotionless. Nothing about it told him that Iris was the one who’d written it. But then again so was his. He hadn’t added that “I love you” at the end for fear that after the kiss they shared, the knowledge of his true feelings for her would hurt her further. He felt it in the way she kissed him back. He knew that she felt the same way and that if he in any way fuelled that emotion she’d wait for him however long it took. Because that was the type of person Iris was. She was loyal to the bone and felt everything too deeply, and he couldn’t live with himself knowing that she hadn’t sought after love because of him. She deserved better. She deserved to be happy and he wouldn’t get in the way of that. The plane picked up speed on the ramp as it prepared for take-off and he found himself drowning in regret. Why hadn’t he stayed? He knew that she felt for him what he felt for her so why didn’t he take her offer and live with her?

Because they we’re young and emotional and though her emotions seemed genuine he had no idea how permanent they were. If what she felt for him was merely a teenage crush then he’d be stuck in a house with a walking daily reminder of his heart ache. That’s why he didn’t stay. He’d lost his chance with her and now he’d have to live with the ‘what if’s’....

* * *

 

[Barry]

“Iris?” He snapped his fingers in front of her face and she blinked stepping out of her trance.

“Are you ok?” He asked genuinely concerned.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just…look Barry. Even if I wanted to skate with you I can’t. Every time I so much as come close to the rink, I freeze.”

He couldn’t help but smirk at the irony and she looked at him with a puzzled expression.

“What are you smirking about?”

“You. Freeze. Get it? Cause of the ice and…”

“Yes I get it.” She answered trying (and failing) to hide her own smile.

“There’s that that heart snatching smile I remember,” he said as his heart skipped a beat. He had finally gotten a positive reaction out of her. She rolled her eyes and sighed then said,

“If you decide to compete then I’m happy for you, but you’re going to have to find another partner.”

“But I don’t want another partner.” He retorted and her eyes widened, she wasn’t expecting him to fight for her.

“Well then I’m sorry Barry but you won’t be able to compete. Now if you’ll excuse me I have a hot date with my bed and some pain killers.” She said, turning around to leave.

“Iris wait. Let me help you.” He said, stepping in front of her to block her escape and placing a hand on either one of her arms. When she gave him a warning look he let go of her and fumbled with his hands in the air before deciding that it would be best to simply fold them.

“Help me? Help me how? I’ve seen three different therapists in the last seven years. If they couldn’t fix me how are you planning on doing it?” She challenged.

“I’m not going to fix you. You don’t need to be fixed Iris you just need someone to remind you why you started skating in the first place. Last time I checked I was the one who gave you that push.” He said and she simply stared back at him.

“Come on Iris. I’ve messed up so bad when it comes to you, give me a chance to make it right. Please.” He pleaded, his eyes searching hers for an answer.

“I’ll get my skates.” She caved and he smiled, excitement brimming just beneath the surface.

“Thank you.” He said, wanting to bring her in for a hug but after a second thought decided that it would be best not to. With one last look at her he took off towards the locker room to put his own skates on with a sense of new found hope pulsing through him.

* * *

 

[Iris]

She sat on the edge of the bench with her hands gripping on to it so tightly that her knuckles paled.  The minute the skates slipped on to her feet the panic began to set in and suddenly she found herself gasping for air. She was paralyzed by fear. She knew that the minute she made a move towards the door there would be no turning back and either Barry would push her onto the ice or she’d make a fool of herself in front of him and he’d know just how broken she truly was. A knock at the door startled her and she barely had time to answer before Barry walked into the room.

“I came to see what the…Oh my goodness Iris are you ok?” he panicked. His eyes widened with worry and he sat by her side holding her arm and pressing a hand to her back so as to steady her.

“I can’t – do it – Barry. I’m – scared.” She struggled out.

“Shh. It’s ok. You’re gonna be ok. Just close your eyes.” He cooed in a soothing voice.

“What?” She huffed out confused.

“Just trust me. I know I’m the last person on this earth who should be asking for your trust but if I’m gonna help you then you need to let me in, Iris.” He explained. “Now close your eyes.”

She was still riddled with insecurity but figured she had nothing to lose so she closed her eyes and focused on taking deep calming breaths.

“That’s it. Now don’t get startled I’m gonna take your hand.” He said then she felt his fingers close around her hand gently, the warmth spreading through her entire arm.

“Good, you’re doing great. Now I need you to get out of your head. Imagine that this is the first day we skated together. Go back to that day, in this very locker room. Remember how I stumbled in cause I was late. Remember how I helped you take care of your wounds.” A smile crept over her lips as she pictured his younger, cuter self holding the disinfectant soaked cotton ball to her injury and dabbing at it gingerly.

“Ok, now I need you to get up. Don’t think about the type of foot wear you have on, just keep holding on to my hand and walk with me. Exactly like we did that day.” She lifted herself off the seat and was surprised by how calm she was despite the fact that she was standing on her skates.

“Ata girl! Walk with me now Iris. It’s still little you and little me. We’re going to meet your aunt downstairs and she’s gonna teach us how to skate.” She kept her eyes closed and followed him blindly out to the main arena. She could feel the temperature drop as they got closer to the ice and her pulse quickened but she kept her focus on her breath, repeating to herself that it was little her and little Barry. Before he left her, before she waited up for him to call her once he got to London. Before she dated Eddie, before Eddie… the accident came to the fore front of her mind and her eye’s shot open as she planted her feet firmly on to the ground.

“I can’t. Barry, I can’t. I’m going to get hurt! I can’t!” She trembled and he pulled her into his arms, comforting her with a hug.

“Hey, hey. It’s okay. It’s alright. No need to push we’ll take it easy. Forget about the accident, just be here with me, right here. This isn’t practice. It’s just for fun, and I’m not your previous skating partner. I’m Barry. You’re first man on the ice. The one that held you up through dozens of routines. The one you trusted to catch you after a daring spin in the air. The one who never loosened his grip and only had eyes for you when we were in the rink. That’s me Iris. Same old Bare.” He held her tighter and she stopped shivering. Each word that came out of his mouth brought back a memory that stirred something deep within her.

Her unbreakable trust in him.

No amount of distance or time could break the bond they’d created on the ice and being in his arms again, with all those repressed experiences bursting to the fore front of her mind, that trust was reinstalled. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath then said,

“Take me to the ice.”

“Are you sure?” Barry asked without letting go of her.

“Yes. I trust you.” She said. She felt him nod and suddenly the tune of Sleeping Beauty’s waltz filled the arena.

“Do you remember this song?” he asked and she nodded.

“Our first ever routine together. You remembered.”

“Of course I did. Now just like we did on that day we’re going to step onto that ice and we’re going to own it.”

She smiled at his attempt at a motivational speech and slowly they began to move. She let the music wash over her as her body recollected the routine. Barry stopped and she sensed him pull away.

“Barry?” she asked her voice slightly panicked.

“I’m hear I’m hear. Just undressing my blade.” He reassured her. He tapped her leg and she realised that her own blades needed undressing so she promptly lifted one leg and then the other as Barry helped her out of her blade covers.

“Ok. You ready?” Barry asked returning to his position in front of her.

“As I’ll ever be.” She remarked and braced herself for her first step on the ice in five years.   

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All I'll say is this.  
> Please don't hate me. 
> 
> 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
> 
> XOXO  
> 💜🖤

[Flashback]

Barry closed his eyes as he relished in the sound of the crowd. When he opened them again they shone about as bright as the spotlights that followed the skaters on the ice. The blue atmospheric light gave the arena a magical touch and his face was plastered with a permanent smile that nothing could shake off. It was their first ever competition and he couldn't be more excited. A sudden movement next to him drew his attention and he turned around to find Iris standing next to him. Her hair was up in a bun and the corner of her eyes sparkled with tiny rhinestones. She was wearing (what to Barry) looked like a glittery, light purple, kiddies swim suit with a barely there skirt attached to it. He thought she looked pretty.

"I think I'm gonna be sick," she held her tummy with both her hands as she looked at the rink. One of the couples they were competing against was on the ice and Iris looked petrified with every jump, throw and twirl performed.  
"Hey. Iris. It's OK. We've done this a billion times. You don't have to be scared." he reassured her with a smile. She turned to him, her face still that of a girl afraid so in a last attempt to make her calm down Barry hugged her. That always seemed to make her feel better. Iris closed her eyes and tried to relax. She trusted him and she knew that no matter what happened out there he'd always be there to catch her.

"I'm here with you Iris and I'll always be here to protect you OK?" she noded her head with unsure eyes.  
"Let's just go out there and have some fun. Don't think about the crowd or the lights, just imagine that you're back home with me and everything will be alright." he reassured her and just then the couple ended their routine. They were up next. They made their way to the entry point of the rink, shook hands with their opponents in a polite exchange of 'well done / goodluck' and uncovered their blades. Their names were announced and Iris took a deep breath plastering her most radiant smile onto her face. They stepped onto the ice together and Barry gave her hand a slight squeeze calming her down a bit. Back - to - back, they paused in the middle of the rink and Iris closed her eyes to clear her mind as she waited for the music to start. Barry was filled with anticipation and when the melody of Sleeping Beauties waltz finally hit his ears he spun around took Iris's hand in his, turned her around to face him and when their eyes met all else faded. It was just the two of them and their love for the ice. They waltzed around on the ice, gliding through it like it was second nature to them.

The routine flowed out of them, each spin, dip and dive carefully choreographed yet executed with such grace that its seemed spontaneous and natural. Iris completely forgot that it was a competition and let her self have fun, sassing things up as she let go of Barry and skated away pretending that she was mad. It was all part of the show. She counted the beats in her head till he held her again and she turned around with a bright smile. She jumped into his arms and he lifted her into the air with one strong push, spinning her around as she maintained her stance. He brought her down slowly, her body sliding down against his (though at that point in their youth it was an innocent action) the tip of her one skate hit the ice, followed by another and they stood there exchanging heavy breaths for a second before he spun her out then pulled her back in so that her back hit his chest and her arms were crossed infront of her. They looked up with triumphant smiles and the crowd went wild...

* * *

 

[Barry]

She was in his arms again and nothing in the world had ever felt so right. She was meant to be there. Meant to be so close to him that they heated each other up on the ice. The routine was over and she'd performed it as beautifully as she did the first day they competed. He thought she'd let go and put some distance between them but instead she stayed in his arms as they both caught their breaths. In a bold move he spun her around to face him, suddenly with out warning. Her hands fell on his chest and he planted his on her waist.

She looked at him in shock, taken by surprise by his action and no doubt by the sudden intimacy of the moment. He leaned into her, slowly and trapped in the moment she didn't resist. Instead she closed her eyes and waited for the inevitable meeting of their lips. Her perfume took over his sences, a mixture of milk and honey, and he slowed his approach in order to trully appreciate it. His heart hammered in his chest, he'd waited for this for so long, to hold her again, kiss her again, except that this time he wouldn't let her walk away. Her breath played on his lips that were a mere sheet of paper away from hers and time seemed to slow down...

BANG!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry about the cliffhanger everyone but I gotta keep you on your toes or you might get bored 😝. I made up for it in this one though, it's an extra long chapter so I hope you enjoy it. Hiatus has just began and I'm already panicking. Have no idea how I'm gonna survive these next few months but I guess this means more time to write 🤭
> 
> Have fun 😍
> 
> XOXO   
> 🖤💜

[Barry]

The loud crash of the doors to the arena jolted them both out of their day dream, the moment lost. From a distance they heard a voice call out,

"Teddy Bear!" and Barry closed his eyes in frustration, his body suddenly drained of all energy. Patti Spivott sauntered her way to the ice rink and out stretched her arms, waiting for Barry to accept her affection.  
"Patti." he breathed out, not a drop of excitement hung in his voice. Iris pushed away from him and crossed her arms in front of her as she turned to look at the bright smile, blonde hair, ultimate cheerleader girlfriend of a woman.

Barry skated towards her and gave her a cold hug.

"How nice to see you." he said, trying to inject the words with some level of affection.   
"Seems like I got here just in time." she remarked, throwing Iris a suspicious look.   
Barry knew that look all too well. It was the same look she used on Felicity during the Queen annual fundraiser the year before. After that poor Felicity was doused in champagne as Patti launched into a jealous rage. That look was bad news. Luckily for him before anything happened Leo and Cecile joined them at the rink.

"That. Was. Beautiful!" Cecile clapped her hands excitedly as Iris excused herself and pushed past the couple, completely ignoring Patti.

"Well that was rude." Patti mumbled under her breath and Barry grabbed hold of her forearm giving it a firm thug.   
"Leave her alone. She's one of my oldest friends and I won't stand up for you if you upset her." He warned. She looked at him with stunned eyes and her mouth hung open in disbelief.   
"Teddy B..."  
"Don't call me that. And what are you even doing here? I thought I made myself clear when I told you I was done."   
"Come on babe. You know you don't mean that." She puckered wrapping her arms around his neck. Barry had never raised a hand against a woman before and he knew that he never would but in that moment, gosh was he tempted to.

"Everything OK here?" Snart approached and Barry threw him an irritated look.

"Can we talk? In private?" He asked before he briskly let go of Patti and walked a little distance from the ladies to talk to his manager.

"What are you doing?" He snapped and Snart faced him head on, cool as ever.   
"I'm afraid I don't know what you mean."  
"Is this your idea of a joke? You tell me to stay away from Iris then sign us up as skating partners? As if that weren't enough you add Patti to the mix? Are you actually trying to ruin me?" Barry hissed.

"What would make you think that?" Snart asked, his expression seeming almost bored.   
"You said it yourself. I'm already in hot water with the board and getting caught in a cheating scandal would not help my image or my career at all."  
"Cheating? Do you mean to tell me that you actually have feelings for this girl?" He asked, his voice bubbling down a few octaves as he took on a warning tone.   
Barry looked at him like a deer caught in headlights and Snart did not look amused.   
"I..." He started but Snart put up his hand, uninterested in whatever it was that Barry had to say.   
"Listen, I've been your manager for a very long time and every single time we got you a new partner you've never performed as well as you did tonight. Not even with Patti. She's more of a distant second compared to your performance with Iris. So you are going to be a big boy and push those feelings of yours to the side. Capiche?"  
"But..."  
"There are no buts Allen. You wanted a plan to save your career and here it is. Iris is just your skating partner and Patti is the apple of your eye. Now get back over there and act the part." he commanded as he turned on his heel to walk away.   
"Oh and Allen, one more thing. Next time I ask you a question, don't lie to me."

With that Snart walked over to the group of ladies leaving Barry to wallow in his misery.

* * *

 

[Iris]

She was still a little light headed but she wasn't sure if it was from the fact that she'd actually managed to step on the ice or from her exchange with Barry. The moment felt so perfect that it was impossible for her not to lose herself in it. She hadn't realised how much she missed skating with him until it actually happened. It felt like a whole new side of her came to the surface but that had been the first time in a long time that she'd felt like herself. The butterflies came fluttering back and when she looked at him having his heated conversation with his manager she started to notice everything she had been trying to ignore. The charm in his eyes, the seductive curve of his lips, the tempting build of his body. She quickly averted her eyes as she felt her cheeks heat up.

Her eyes landed on Patti and all the bliss she'd felt deflated out of her almost as if she were an old helium balloon. She felt like she had been ambushed with a bucket of ice cold water and flung out of her day dream. Reality sunk in and she was forced to face the facts. That picture perfect dream she had of her and Barry would never be more than a dream. She couldn't subject herself to that torture every day. 15 minutes with him on the ice was enough to have her wanting to push him up against a wall and claim his lips like her life depended on it. What would a a week of training do? And if they made it to sectionals? What about when they made it to nationals and had to travel together?

Iris felt her panic grow as she went down a worm hole of dangerous situations. Her mind was telling her to walk away while she still could but her heart was a blaze with a desire she thought she'd snuffed out years ago. Turns out the flames were merely dormant, waiting for her to see him again, feel his touch, revel in the sent of his cologne. That was all it took for her to be thrust back into her 16 year old self, in love with her best friend but too afraid to admit it to anyone, including herself.

"I think I'm gonna head out. This migraine won't cure itself," she said while taking a few steps back. Her aunt grabbed her arm and pulled her back to the mini circle they had formed just as Snart walked towards them.   
"Where do you think you're going young lady? We need to talk business." she squealed.   
"Ladies, sorry for that rude interruption. Now Iris, if you and Barry will just add your signatures to the sign up sheets we can make this official." Snart said, bringing his hands together infront of him.   
"Make what official?" Patti asked and Iris began to contemplate making a break for it.   
"Iris and I are going to be skating partners." Barry announced as he joined them and all thought of fleeing escaped her mind. That is until he draped his arm around Patti's shoulders and planted a kiss on her forehead. Iris suddenly felt physically ill and her migraine seemed to worsen.   
"Uh, can I think about it?" she stuttered, rubbing her arm awkwardly.   
"Iris honey. What is there to think about? You and Barry are the perfect pair on the ice. This is your chance to get back out there and Barry's chance to clean up his name. It's the opportunity of a life time." Cecile insisted giving each of Iris's shoulders a firm squeeze.   
"I..."  
"How about we sleep on it and make a decision tomorrow? She's not feeling very well and I don't think that this is making her feel any better." Barry advised and both Cecile and Snart shrugged in defeat.   
"Very well. But if you come to a decision before then I'm hosting a party at the hotel, a sort of welcome home bash if you will. You should definetly stop by." Snart suggested with a slightly wicked smile.   
Barry took the sign up sheet which Cecile offered her niece, signed it and then gave it back to Iris.   
"The decision is yours." He said and she might have been hallucinating but she could have sworn that there was a hint of pleading in his eyes.   
"I'll be sure to think about it carefully." she said in a soft tone with her head slightly bowed.   
As she walked away she heard Patti say  
"I'm not sure I like this idea very much," to which Barry replied   
"Don't worry about it babe. It's just business."  
At the sound of the other girls giggle she felt her heart crumple to pieces and quickened her step out of fear that they would notice the tears in her eyes.

Back at home she stared at the piece of paper as she layed down on her bed. She wanted to accept it but at the same time she was scared of what continued contact with him would do to her. That impromptu practice came to show her just how hung up she still was on him and she wasn't sure her heart could handle that sort of heartbreak a second time. A knock at the door brought her back from her pondering session and Iris made her way downstairs to see who it was.   
Barry stood outside her door with a bag with what looked like medicine in one hand and a box from CC Jitters in the other.

"Barry. What are you doing here?" She asked surprised and he offered her a sheepish smile.   
"Um...I wasn't sure if you had any thing for your migraine so I ran down to the drug store and got you a light pain killer. It should help. Oh and uh, you can't take pills on an empty stomach so I got you brownies and cronuts. Those are still your favourites right?" He stammered and she chuckled finding the situation endearingly humerus.   
"Um, yes. Yes they are. I don't even know what to say. Thank you," she said taking the bag and box from him.   
"You're welcome, just doing my job as your possible future partner. You know. We gotta look out for eachother," he said and stuffed his hands into his jeans pockets.   
She bit her lip in thought then said  
"Come on in, I'll be right be back."

She made her way back up to her bedroom, grabbed a pen and without a second thought signed her name on the dotted line next to his. She looked at the document satisfied, it wasn't a wedding certificate but it was still a binding contract with both their names on it and at this point she'd take what she could get. Iris joined Barry downstairs and handed him the piece of paper. He looked at it then flashed her a seductive grin and all she could do was look at him through hooded eyes and sway from side to side like a five year old who's been caught.   
"I knew you'd make the right choice," he said as she walked him to the door and she gave him her best 'whatever' smile.   
"Nice doing business with you ma lady." he said with a goofy courtesy and Iris laughed as she watched him leave.   
"Hey Teddy bear!" she called after him and he turned around to look at her already half way to his car.   
"Thanks again for the care package. I'll see you tonight," and with one last look at his satisfied grin she closed the door and leaned against it feeling like a teenager all over again. 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the delay and all the unanswered questions. Hope this chapter helps a little 😂❤️
> 
> Not confirmed yet but I might be taking a break from writing to focus on school. It's just a thought so please don't panic as yet 💜💜 
> 
> Enjoy the chapter and be warned there's a cliffhanger ahead 😊🤭
> 
> XOXO  
> 💜🖤

[Flash back] 

Barry waited patiently for Patti's arrival at the tiny English coffee shop. He was almost glad that she was late but the longer he waited the more time he had to make himself nervous. It was early in the afternoon and he already felt exhausted. It was almost as if the weight of what he had to do was using up all his energy. Patti was an incredibly sweet girl, he really liked her, but he didn't love her and that was the problem. That was why he had to let her go. Stringing her along would be cruel and it was more than Barry could bare.  
"This is for the best," he reassured himself just as the bell above the door chimed announcing the arrival of a new customer and bringing him out of his panic induced stooper. Patti walked in looking as radiant as always with the brightest smile he'd ever seen her wear. He waved at her sheepishly and her smile brightened a few more watts when she located him across the diner. Barry wondered to himself how that was even possible.  
"Teddy Bear!" She exclaimed flinging herself on to him when she reached the table and garnered a few curious looks from the surrounding caffeine addicts and afternoon tea appreciators. Barry felt his face flush, he hated that absurd nick name.  
"Patti. How are you?" He asked nervously and more than ready to get the awkward conversation out of the way.  
"Oh my gosh babe I'm extatic! I have the best news!" she said with an enthusiastic clap of her hands.  
"Is that so?" he asked his curiosity peaked.  
"Yes! But you go first, you said you wanted to talk to me?" she asked her excitement deeming down a notch.  
"Um..." Barry panicked.  
"You know I'm a gentleman and a gentleman always let's the lady go first. What's this news that's got you over the moon?" He decided to stall.

Just like that her billion watt smile returned to her face and her cheeks actually tinted a little as she searched for the right words.  
"Oh Barry. I... Alright I'm just gonna come out and say it!"  
Barry waited in anticipation, growing worried at her extreme display of happiness. Finally Patti took a deep breath and blurted out,

"I'm pregnant!"

 

[Barry] 

He closed the doors to the impressive office, creating a sense of privacy and separating it from the celebration that took place on the other side. When he turned around he found that Snart had already made himself comfortable behind the massive cedar wood desk. He was smartly dressed in an all white suit and wore and expression of pure boredom as he took a sip of his drink. 

"Allen. I'm waiting. And you know I despise waisting my time," he informed. 

"Don't worry. This will be quick." Barry assured him as he turned around and made his way towards one of the empty chairs on the other side of the desk. Barry adorned a semi formal look, with black jeans and a black blazer over a white button down shirt. He struggled to piece together the relatively simple ensemble because as much as he wanted to dress to impress (impress Iris that is) he didn't want to make it too obvious. 

"Listen Snart, here's the deal. As much as our relationship has always been open and I've allowed you to mostly call all the shots, I think it's about time we made our roles clear. You work for me okay? Not the other way around." he put his foot down then waited for the other man's reaction. 

After a sip of his double shot of whiskey on the rocks, Snart gave Barry a dismissive glance and asked  
"Your point being?" 

Infuriated by his managers nonchalant attitude at the serious matter Barry had to take a calming breath before he responded.  
"My point being its time you started acting more like a manager and less like a dictating prick. You're not my father Snart, so stop acting the part or..."

"Or what? You're gonna fire me?" Snart challenged and Barry fell silent. Snart leaned forward in his seat, resting his arms on the table as he came closer. 

"Now you listen to me kid. I'm the only one who's looking our for you out there and the only reason why you still have a career worth salvaging is because I'm out there busting my ass off to clean up your messes."

"I know..." Barry started but Snart cut him off and continued with his lecture. 

"Do you? Do you really know Barry? Do you know how many coaches I've had to call to try and get you on a team? How many unplanned flights I've had to endure to make sure that I personally revise and negotiate all contracts so that you wouldn't get screwed over? How many shit headed media roaches I've head to pay off to stop your little outbursts from making the front pages of the gossip magazines?" 

Despite the clear disdain in his words Snarts tone remained frighteningly calm and so did his movements as he stood up and walked around the table insidiously towards Barry.  
"And let's not forget your little secret. Who was it that had your back during that whole fiasco?" Snart asked and Barry hung his head in shame.  
"You did." he whispered under his breath.  
"Wait what was that?" Snart taunted.  
"You did." Barry said louder and Snart slapped his shoulders approvingly. 

"That's right kid. I did. If it weren't for me what do you suppose would have happened to you if the media got wind that you caused Patti's miscarriage?"  
"It wasn't my fault!" Barry burst, shooting up from his seat.  
"Eddie punched her in the stomach not me! It's one of the main reasons why I hate the bastard." 

"Yes well, Eddie might have been the immediate cause but if it weren't for you Patti wouldn't have been at the arena that day, much less pushed herself between two hooligans throwing punches at eachother. And let's be honest Allen, that blow was meant for you and it cost you your child." Snart's voice took on a manipulative tone but Barry was too ashamed to noticed.  
Patti was 2 months pregnant when she miscarried and the loss of his unborn child still weighed heavily on his conscience. 

"I was the one that convinced your little girlfriend to keep her mouth shut and I'm only keeping her close so that we can monitor her every move. Patti is a smart girl. No matter how much she loves the attention she would never disclose of something that serious while still romantically linked to you. That would tarnish her image and she knows it. You know what they say, keep your friends close and your enemies closer." Snart took another sip and waited for the information to sink in. 

"I'm sorry," Barry apologised and with his head still down he missed the moment when Snarts face twisted into a triumphant grin.  
"That's alright kid. I'll let it slide this time. You're under alot of pressure so you got your wires crossed. No hard feelings. Now go out there and have some fun, destress a little." He said and gave Barry's shoulder a firm squeeze. 

Taking the man's advice Barry stood up and walked towards the door, turning around briefly to say,  
"Thanks Snart. I really don't know what I would do without you."  
"Anytime Allen." Snart replied, raising his glass in the air. With that Barry walked out and joined the party, just in time to see Iris make her entrance. 

She was dressed in a body hugging, long sleeved, red dress with red sandal heels to match. Her hair fell over her shoulders in neat, gentle waves and her eye liner made her beautiful brown eyes stand out. The world around him seemed to slow down as he took her in and breathing suddenly became and impossible feat. Snapping out of his daze he put one foot infront of the other and weaved his way through the crowd in her direction. She noticed him approaching and made her way to him in hopes of meeting him half way. Finally in her presence, he placed his hand on her tiny waist and leaned in to brush a soft kiss on her cheek. Much to his surprise (and relief) she didn't pull away. 

"I'm glad you could make it. You look... amazing."  
He complimented and she smiled, shyly tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear.  
"Thanks. You don't look so bad yourself." she returned the compliment and Barry felt his face flush.  
"Can I get you something to drink?" he offered and she nodded her head yes.  
"Water for now is fine. I'm still recovering." she said gesturing with her finger to her head.  
"Coming right up." Barry smiled at her and just as he was about to leave a whistle sounded from behind Iris.  
"Well. I'd recognise that fine ass anywhere."  
Barry saw Iris tense up and his rage began to build as he protectively stepped infront of her (well more like behind her) and came face to face with Eddie Thawne.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been reading your comments and I've realised that theres a little resentment building towards good old Barry and his lack of a back bone. I'm really sorry about that. Im trying to use the whole Snart / Barry situation to highlight one of his major character flaws... His over reliance on those around him. Its annerving I know (trust me I cringe when I type) but it gives room for character development and it will help us love him more towards the end. 
> 
> Sorry about the momentary irritation but the means will justify the ends (I hope). This chapter isn't overly angsty and I'm sure it will probably raise a few questions but all will be answered in due time. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy 💜  
> XOXO   
> 💜🖤

[Iris]

The sound of his voice sent a fearful chill through her, coating her skin in petrified goosebumps. She hadn't been that close to him since the day of the accident, the prick didn't care enough to check up on her after and she wouldn't have had it any other way. She wanted to remain as far away from him as she possibly could. But there he was, in the flesh with the same nauseating voice and overly expensive cologne. Thankfully Barry stepped infront of her giving her a small sence of security and a menacing laugh emanated from Eddie forcing her to close her eyes. She took deep breaths, remembering her PTSD management techniques and tried to calm herself down.

"What's wrong honey? Scared you're gonna fall in love with me again?" he taunted taking a step towards her but Barry shifted blocking his way.

"Don't you dare speak to her that way." He warned in a low voice and she heard Eddie give off another chuckle.

"Who's gonna stop me? You? You could barely keep your own bitch in check, you think you can afford to take on a side piece?" He mused, "Your lucky my brother didn't sue your ass for assault." 

"He's lucky I didn't send his ass to the emergency room." Barry spat back. 

"What on earth is going on here?" Patti's voice cut through the tension as she pushed through the crowd towards them. Her features furrowed into a look of annoyance when her eyes landed on Eddie and she folded her arms across her chest as she said,

"Oh heck no. What the hell are you doing here Eddie?" 

"Stay out of this Patti." Barry growled and Eddie let out a lsugh of disbelief. 

"Holly shit this is priceless. You actually took the team slut back. My, how the mighty have fallen." he guffawed. 

"Get out Eddie. You're not welcome here." Barry demanded and Eddie answered with an arrogant grin. 

"I'll leave, I'll go. But only if Iris escorts me out." he negotiated and Iris felt her stomach lurch at the prospect of being alone with the freak. 

"I'm not letting you anywhere near her." Barry stood up for her and her heart swelled with gratitude. 

"Then I'm not going anywhere." Eddie stood his ground. 

"You better get the hell out or I'll throw you out myself!" Barry's voice rose in volume as his anger significantly grew and when Iris looked down she noticed that Barry's hands had tightened to fists at his side. The room had gone quiet and all eyes were on them. She spotted a number of camera phones pointed at the three of them and if footage of Barry in a fight got out he might tarnish his reputation for good and it would all have been her fault. Iris couldn't live with herself if that had to happen so she put her game face on and turned around, placing her hand on Barry's shoulder to calm him down.

"It's OK Bear. I can handel this." She said and stepped out from behind him to face the brut before them.

Barry's hand clamped around her fore arm in a firm but gentle gesture of protection.

"Trust me Iris, you don't know this guy like I do. He's not your average kind of dick." He warned. She looked back and searched his eyes, realising that Barry didn't know about her relationship with Eddie. It was either that or he simply didn't want to believe that it was true but if they were going to be partners (and to a certain extent friends) again he would have to find out sooner or later.

"Considering the fact that for a brief and regretful moment of my life we were actually an item, I find that hard to belive. If any one here knows what he's capable of it's me." She responded embarrassed, then watched as the colour drained from Barry's face.  
"Aww, glad to see that I was that memorable to you." Eddie teased and Iris shot him her best 'shut the fuck up' glare.  
"It's hard to forget your greatest mistake Eddie." She retaliated then looked back at Barry as she felt his hand let go of her arm. He was backing away from her with a look of disbelief in his eyes.

"You OK Bear?" She asked reaching for him in concern but he snatched his arms away before she could reach him, his face twisted with disgust. Iris felt a sharp stab go through her heart as he looked at her with sickened eyes.

"You...You actually..." he couldn't seem to bring himself to finish the thought. 

"What? Dated me? Do you believe me now you wuss?" Eddie taunted and Iris addressed him with her back still to him. 

"Shut up you idiot you've done enough damage as it is."

"Iris why? Why would you stoop so low?" Barry asked, his pained confusion clear in his voice.

"I'm not really in the mood to discuss my past relationship errors Barry. Let's just say that I was in a dark place and shit happened." she answered, growing a little irritated. Who was he to judge? Walking around with an over produced Barbie doll.  
"I thought you were better than this. I fought for you. There were countless times when I was on the verge of losing everything just to defend your honour. Because I belived in you. I couldn't bring myself to believe that you had turned into a partying, shameless whore, but I guess I was wrong. All that was for nothing." Barry confessed. He wasn't angry. He wasn't hurt but his voice was coated with a genuine disappointment which made it seem like he believed, every word he had just said.

Iris looked at him in disbelief. She had been shocked silent. After all that they had been through together and all he had put her through when he left, he still had the nerve to question her integrity. Her already broken heart acquired a new crack but the pain was so familiar to her that an outburst wasn't necessary. Though she felt the tears stinging the back of her eyes she maintained her composure and simply looked at him dead in the eye.

"You know what Barry, I'm sorry I'm suggest a disappointment to you OK? I'm sorry that you left me heartbroken, promised to call then ghosted me for seven straight years...."

"Ghosted you!" he interrupted.  
"You were the one who wouldn't return any of my texts. I tried for years and then I simply got tired of getting my hopes up when you were clearly never gonna reply!"

"Lying isn't a good look on you Barry." she stated. 

"I'm not the liar in the room Iris and as heartbreaking as it is I'm glad you're finally showing your true colours. Saves me the trouble of finding out when it's too late." he spat. Iris let out a sound of unbelieving desperation before she shook her head and slung her hand bag over he shoulders.

"You know what I didn't come here to get insulted. I came because I thought that it was a genuine invitation from a friend." she professed, keeping her voice steady despite her desperate need to cry. 

"Guess we were both mistaken." Barry shrugged bitterly.

"I'm getting out of here. I'll see you at practice. Hopefully by then you'll have regained your senses." she turned around and made her way out but not before she heard Barry say, 

"Don't bet on it and do me a favour, take your pimp with you."  
She stopped dead in her tracks, unable to process what she had just heard, but decided that it wasn't worth the fight and simply carried on walking. To her relief, Eddie didn't follow and as soon as the elevator doors shut she let her frustrations run down her face.


	15. Chapter 15

[Barry]

 

"Pimp?" Eddie snorted.

"That was harsh Allen. Even for me."

Barry tightened the fists at his side in a failed attempt to let go of the rage inside him. It was a rage that stemmed from heartache, from the loss of a dream he'd held dear for the longest of time. 

 

"Get out!" he yelled releasing his pent up frustration.

 

"Get out! All of you!"

A commotion broke through as guests began to file out of the hotel room. Some were shocked, others too prideful to let their embarrassment show and others were on the verge of laughter but one look at Barry's redned face and anger crazed eyes put the fear of life in them and they resorted to quietly exiting.

Barry slumped down onto a nearby couch, pressing the palms of his hands into his eyes and trying to focus on calming his breath.

Patti closed the doors as the last guest left then walked up to him and tried to rub the tension out of his shoulders but he shook her off.

 

"Don't touch me." he grumbled, wanting very much to be left alone with his thoughts but simultaneously afraid of where those thoughts might lead.

 

"I'm just trying to help you Teddy Bear." she cooed and Barry's irritation level reached its maximum point. 

"For the billionth time Patti. Don't. Call me that! And if you really cared about me that much you wouldn't have fucked that dicks brother OK?" Patti looked at him in shock. She was completely blind sided by his out burst and couldn't find the words to say. Barry watched, un bothered, as her eyes swelled with tears and her lip began to quiver with a surpressed sob. He leered at her as she got up and made her way to the door, completely unapologetic. 

 

"By the way. I told Snart that inviting Eddie wasn't a good idea. If you want to be mad at someone be mad at him." She left with that final sentiment and Barry marched his way into Snarts office throwing open the doors with a violent bang. 

 

"Eddie?! Seriously?! What the hell were you thinking?!" he demanded. 

 

"Thank you dear. Brunch on me this weekend... No I insist. Ok bye now." He hung up and turned around to face Barry who looked about ready to attack him.

 

"Before you do anything irrational let's remind ourselves that your rage issues are exactly the reason why we're in this mess." He stated. 

 

"I don't have rage issues. I have an issue with being pushed over, used and taken advantage of and currently the only person who's done all three and hasn't seen the end of my fist is you." Barry stated matter of factly. 

 

"So you're here to collect? Well go ahead Barry I won't stop you. Might as well add that to the growing list of law suits against you. First Eddie Thawne, then Eobard Thawne...."

 

"Eobard decided to have a pre game quickie with my girlfriend and got caught. He had it coming." Barry defended. 

 

"And Eddie?" Snart asked strategically. 

 

"Eddie kept talking a smack about I -" he couldn't bring himself to finish his sentence. Snart watched amused as Barry's whole demeanor changed. The very thought of Iris was enough to drain him of all emotion and leave him feeling completely weak. He'd fought with Eddie so many times over her that he eventually lost his hockey career because of it. If Snart hadn't been a close friend of his current speed skating coach, Barry probably would have been in his parents house right now, high on caffeine and craming for some sort of exam. 

 

"The two of us were an item." Her words echoed in his head reminding him that all that was for nothing. Every argument had, every punch thrown, ever threath exchanged was completely unnecessary because for all Barry knew, Eddie was telling the truth. 

He'd held on to the image of that innocent girl that danced with him at prom and snuggled up to his side at movie nights. The girl who was terrible at playing Monopoly but managed to outsmart him in Scrabble. The Iris who's laugh could brighten his day, who was sweet and innocent in every way. He felt the weight of tears pressing against the back of his eyes and slowly sank to the ground as he let his grief flow. 

 

He was grieving the loss of a beautiful lie. A well crafted fantasy that he'd used to comfort himself on those quiet nights when he craved the sound of her voice but had to resort to silent memories. She was a stranger to him now, a symbol of all he'd managed to lose. A figment of his imagination that he fought so hard to hold on to and in the end he lost much more than just a fairytale. 

 

"You're right Barry." Snart broke through his thoughts as he approached him and crouched down in front of him. 

 

"You don't have rage issues. You have love issues." he handed Barry and handkerchief which Barry silently accepted. 

 

"You love too deeply then end up losing yourself in the euphoria of it all and everything else fades to the background. Think about it. Iris cost you your ice hockey career and Patti is about to make you hang up your skates for good. This figure skating gig? It's your last shot to do things the right way. No emotional ties or commitments. Just good old fashioned strategy and execution." He explained and Barry simply listened. 

 

"You're rekindled romance with Patti paints you as forgiving and loyal, effectively counteracting the violent character the public has in mind, while your partnership with Iris keeps you fit and shows off your skills. It's the perfect plan." Snart slapped Barry's shoulder reassuringly and gave it a slight squeeze. After a brief moment of silence Snart got up and straightened his suit. 

 

"You clearly have alot of thinking to do so I'll leave you to it." he said and turned around to leave but stopped at the door to leave him with one last remark. 

 

"If you think about it, you got off easy. I mean can you imagine if you were romantically linked to Iris? As good as you both may be on the ice, you're much safer pretend dating Patti because you were never as easily fooled by her charms. I guess she's the lesser of two evils." 

Left alone with his thoughts Barry found himself sinking into a spiralling state of doubt. He was questioning everything and everyone around him. Every decision he'd made after he left Central City and every relationship he built after Iris. Her betrayal served as a wake up call, opening him up to the realisation that he had been living passively for the past seven years of his life. Living to please everyone but himself and that the ice was his only true friend. At that very moment something inside him clicked and the sudden shift brought forth a side of him he had long forgotten. The side of him that didn't shy away from taking control. The wheels of his mind began to turn and soon a list formulated in his thoughts. A list of people and events in his life that seemed too mysterious for his liking. If he was going to play to win he had to familiarise himself with the game and the players and that's exactly what he intended to do. 

Spurred on by his logical brain, Barry got up from his seat of misery and walked over to the desk then grabbed hold of a pen and sat down. On a blank piece of paper he fanatically poured the list out of his mind, linking people, places and events till the end result was a complicated maze of connections similar to the ones used in criminal investigations. Seeing it all on paper only fueled Barry's determination and it was with that very hunger for answers that he picked up the phone that night and made the first of a series of life changing calls. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the last chapter seemed to have gotten quite a few of you ahhhhh rattled (let's say) and I completely understand why. I'm listening to you. Trust me I have you in mind when I type. These mysteries are going to get sorted out I promise. I just can't reveal it all now or else... Well the story will end.💜
> 
> This chapter features a glimpse of the Barry we all want and are waiting for and I hope this appeases you all,💜
> 
> The next chapter is going to be from Iris's POV and it will give you all a little incite into the accident. I've already started working on it I just need to finish it up. 💜
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter and hope it provided a little clarity into Barry's state of mind.💜😊
> 
> XOXO   
> 💜🖤


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo. I've been really good these past couple of days and trying to update daily but I'm going to get really busy from tomorrow so this might be my last update for the week, key word being might. 👀👀🖤
> 
> A lot of anger towards Barry still, I see, but let's switch it up a little. I didn't explain exactly what happened (regarding the accident) in this chapter because the heart to heart between Barry and Iris will happen (at a later stage) and I want Iris to tell the story not for it to simply be a flashback but you get a general hint of what actually happened.
> 
> Please don't hate me... This one actually ends on a cliffhanger. I apologise in advance 👀👀👀. 
> 
>  
> 
> Enjoy 😘  
> XOXO  
> 🖤💜

[Flashback]

Waking up had never been that difficult. Her eyes were heavy and her head felt like she had a truck casually parked on top of it.  
"Francine you need to go back to your room." Her father's voice whispered and as much as she tried to open her eyes or speak or do anything to let him know that she was awake she couldn't. She couldn't move. Never in her life had there been a time that she can recall being as physically exhausted as she was that day. Surrendering to her body's will, Iris resorted to just listening intently to the conversation.  
"She's my baby too Joe. I can't leave her like this. Look at her!" Her mother screamed and she could hear the tears in Francine's voice.  
"Shh" Joe hushed her.  
"Keep your voice down. She needs her rest. I know she's your daughter too but think about how she's going to feel when she wakes up and finds you here in the state you're in?" He whispered.  
"She'll feel loved and know that her mother is here for her. I don't know how much time I have left Joseph. Please, just let me be with our baby girl. It will ease my heart." She sobbed.

Sometime during the back and forth between her parents, Iris zoned out and drifted into a deep, dreamless and (unbeknownst to her) drug induced sleep. With no knowledge of how much time had gone by she found herself able to lift her right eyelid, just a bit, but it was enough to give her a blurry image of her location. From the unmistakable smell of disinfectant to the sterile look of the white walls she knew that she was in a hospital. Her neck was supported by a neck brace so she couldn't turn her head and her left eye refused to open. She browsed through her memories in search of an explanation as to how she ended up that way but as everything started falling into place she wished that she could somehow induce amnesia. Her head, her eyes, her chest, her lips, her arms, her legs, her stomach, everything began to hurt as she remembered each violent assault. Each cut, punch, kick, slap and throw. Her eyes stung furiously as she welled up and the mere action of sobbing added to her physical pain to the point where it was almost unbearable. She managed to let out one, heart-wrenching, soul-shattering scream and a commotion stirred around her.  
Her mother was the first at her side. She looked pale and fragile and was dressed in a hospital gown. Her father was next and both held on to her hoping to calm her down but only adding to her suffering.  
Two nurses rushed in and practically had to pry the panicked parents off of Iris. A sedative was administered to her and she felt her arm burn as the drug came into her system. The burn lasted a few seconds and soon she was knocked out cold.

[Iris]

She jolted awake with her body in a frenzied state of panick. Remnants of the pain in her dream stug her here and there but she was relieved to find that she was other wise alright. She was still fashioned in her party look and her body trembled as she worked her way through the evenings events. Being that close to Eddie again after all that time. The disgusted look on Barry's face when he found out that she was involved with him. The embarrassment of having him kick her out before an audience and to top it all off the fact that he indirectly called her a slut with what seemed like 10 cameras trained on them. Yet somehow Iris felt like the worst was yet to come. Despite the fact that she really didn't want to she was contractually obligated to show up the next day for practice and spend the next how ever many months coming face to face with her worst nightmare. Cause that's what Barry had become. He was a dream gone wrong, someone that she used to love but through his actions and his merciless words he managed to destroy the image she had of him. Turning him into a monster that she would have to face if for no other reason then to avoid the consequences of breaking the legal agreement she had made in a moment of weakness.

But she was weak no more. As she stood under the showers scalding spray she repeated to herself over and over again that she would not access any form of emotion while around him. If any form of fondness for him threatened to break through during rehearsals she would find a way to discretely pinch herself and the pain should short circuit her brain enough to bring her down from her cloud of infatuation. When she crawled into bed that evening she was buzzing with an all consuming sence of determination. She had been hurt for the very last time.

The next morning she woke up with her mantra still playing in the back of her mind and her emotions completely shut off. She got up, got ready and was out the door before the rest of the house had even woken up. The streets were quiet and aided in her attempt to stay focused on her mission. No distractions. She pulled up to the deserted parking lot and made her way inside the silent arena. She was half an hour early so she didn't pay Barry's tardiness much thought. After all, they did meet because he was late.

She decided to warm up while she waited and was pleasantly surprised to find herself being filled with a pleasant sence of anticipation at the prospect of stepping on to the ice. All fears and barriers forgetten she stepped onto the rink and something inside her clicked into place. She was home. Effortlessly she started off with a few simple glides, testing out the ice, before she made her way to a corner and decided that it would probably be best to stretch. Fifteen minutes in and the sound of small footsteps echoed through the empty building. Iris recognized the adorable walk almost immediately, it was her aunt Cecile.

"Look at you!" she exclaimed as she entered the arena and found Iris casually stretching on the ice.  
"You almost seem like a completely different person." She mused.  
"I feel like a completely different person but somehow I feel like this is the me I was meant to be all along... I'm not sure if that makes any sense..."  
"It makes perfect sense honey. You were always your best self when you were on the ice. It was your calling. Your safe place to trully be you. Glad to have you back." Cecile expressed her relief with a teary glimmer in her eyes.  
"Glad to be back." Iris smiled.  
"Come on. Those legs aren't going to work themsleves. We need you in tip top shape for these tryouts and you've been away from the ice for far too long." Cecile instructed with a commanding clap of her hands.  
"Five years too long." Iris agreed and pushed herself back onto the ice.

Half an hour went by and Iris remained unfazed, it wasn't like Barry to be punctual so she'd give him another half hour.

That half hour passed.

Then it became one hour.

Then one and a half.

Then two.

As the third hour drew near Iris felt herself grow impatient. The clock struck nine and she marched out of the arena fuming. She sped through the streets in the general direction of the hotel and came to a brusk hault in a parking space near the back, clear of all other automobiles. She walked into the building, her steps heavy with irritation and made her way up to the suite where she banged on the door till an annoyed Patti answered.

"Get out of my way." She pushed through Patti who followed her in while blurting out a bunch of protests. Without knocking she pushed open the door, a stream of insults ready at the tip of her tongue, and stepped in just as the towel slipped from around Barry's still damp waist and fell to the ground.

 

 


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said the end of the week but Saturday still counts right? 😂
> 
> Thanks for waiting everyone it's been a long week and my weeks are about to get longer so don't be shocked if I can only update once each week.
> 
> Been reading all your comments and I'm glad to see that you're all enjoying the story 😍❤️ this chapter begins to answer some of the questions asked so I hope it gives you a little satisfaction. 
> 
> The cliffhanger isn't all that serious so feel free to dive in 😊❤️
> 
>  
> 
> A great weekend to all and Enjoy 🖤💜

[Iris]

"Allen you son of a..." She swallowed back her words and her face flushed crimson.  
He looked over his shoulder at her, his bare ass completely on display and a promising grin creeped over his features.

"Enjoying the view?" he teased and she opened her mouth to answer but couldn't bring herself to shape out the words. He slipped on his black Calvin Kleins then turned around and Iris shamelessly let her eyes roam over his body. Broad shoulders hung from a sculpted torso that was supported by toned legs and adorned with strong arms. He walked over to her with just the right amount of swagger, and her heart beat picked up speed.

"You know I'm at a bit of a disadvantage here but that's a problem that can easily be fixed." He reached her and casually used his hand to close the door behind her then placed his free hand on her waist and pushed her up against it, pressing his body against hers.  
Barry brushed his lips against her cheek casually and she felt herself shiver.  
"I've shown you mine," he whispered into her ear as he dragged his hand from her waist up her body to her jacket's zipper and slowly began to un do it. He kissed his way down the side of her face, heating her up with each moist encounter, and made his way to her other ear where he whispered, 

"Now you show me yours."  
With that he kissed his way to her lips, savouring each little tremble that shook through her. His lips hovered over hers and she felt his breath caress her. He breathed out her name and every nerve in her body suddenly led to her lips as they screamed for his to touch them. 

"Iris." he breathed again and she closed her eyes, relishing in the sound of her name on his voice.

"Iris!" he screamed and she jolted out of her day dream, blinking a few times to regain her sences. She was still standing at the door and Barry was standing a safe distance away wearing nothing but his underwear and a scandalised look. She brushed over him once with her eyes, still disoriented from her thoughts, and her cheeks flushed. Panic set in and without thinking twice she slammed the door, leaving Barry baffled.

* * *

 

[Barry]

Once he'd managed to work through what had just happened, a smirk crept over his features as he thought about her blushing face then he chuckled and got himself dressed. He had planned on apologising to her for being late and explaining that he'd overslept but after the scene she'd just caused he had other plans.

He opened the door to exit the bedroom and his phone began to ring. Looking down at the screen he saw Cisco's name flash across it.  
"Finally! What are you a freaking bride?" Iris demanded, her composure clearly regained and from the furry in her eyes Barry realised that in order not to anger her further the best thing to do would be to ignore the call and face her.

"Allen, I'm talking to you," she snapped.

"OK, OK calm down. Goodness," he tried to tame her.

"Oh don't you tell me to calm down mister! I waited in that arena for three hours like a damn fool!"

"Watch your tone with him you're not his mother." Patti interrupted and Iris turned to her with a look that told Barry that, that conversation wouldn't end well. Another call rang through, Cisco was being persistent.

"Who the hell do you think you are to tell me to watch my tone? Do you even know me?" Iris quarreled, her anger now misdirected at Patti.

"Stop being such a bitch. So what? You waited, big deal."

The sound of a hand connecting with a face at a high velocity rang through the open room. Silence invaded, and they looked at eachother in astonishment. The annoying holler of Barry's ringtone cut through the tension in the room and Iris directed an exhausted look his way.

"You should get that. It sounds important. As for me, I'm done." With that she stormed out, banging the door behind her.

"Oh no she di...." Patti started once she finally snapped out of her shock but Barry quickly shut her down.

"Leave her alone Patti, and get some ice for your face, it looks like she might have left a mark." Her mouth hung open in offended disbelief as she watched him walk back into his room.  
Barry answered Cisco's fifth call and tried his best to keep his voice calm.

"Finally! Dang Barry, this was gonna be my last attempt!" he complained and Barry noticed a pattern in the amount of "Finally"'s he was getting that day.

"Sorry man I had a situation to defuse, what up?" Barry asked.

"So I was up all night and using the information you gave me I managed to hack into your phone."

"And?" he pressed, taking a seat on the yet to be made bed.

"Your suspicions were right. Someone has definitely been messing with you."

Barry closed his eyes and sighed. Partly out of relief because this could mean the answer to all the mysteries that have been surrounding his life. Partly out of frustration because this meant that he could no longer trust anyone around him.

"Hit me. What did you find?" he asked while holding his chin in his hand.

"Well basically you've been bugged. Someone's been listening to every single conversation you've had and monitoring all your texts, emails, social media messages, you name it."

"Wait, hold on a second what gurantees me that they're not listening right now?" Barry asked alert.

"Seriously bro? I'm offended. I managed to remove all the bugs and restrictions that were on it. I'll tell you this who ever did this did a pretty good job. The hack was practically invisible, you wouldn't have noticed any of the changes unless you hacked in yourself. Which is probably why you were fooled for however long it is that you've been fooled." Cisco explained.

"Is there any way of finding out who did it?" Barry asked.

"Well, yeah there is but it's going to take a while this is a really well done job."

"I'll wait however long it takes. I need to find out who's the snake in the grass around me." Barry confessed and he could feel the tell tale signs of a migraine blooming.

"OK I'll get right to it," Cisco answered.

"Thanks man. I really appreciate it."

"No problem bro. This is gonna be fun. Oh um and before you go, I noticed something weird when I was digging up all the censored, blocked and deleted data."

"Weirder than the fact that my phones been hacked?" Barry joked, making light of a serious situation to keep himself from going ballistic.

"Uh yeah kinda. All the information that I recovered came from the same contact and it was the only contact that was blocked."

"Who's was it?" his curiosity peaked and Cisco answered,

"Someone saved on your phone as Iris."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh oh oh, and one more thing. For all you shippers who have Wattpad. Our ShipersAnonymous meetings now happen there as well and I have a brand new WA fic up on the SA Wattpad page so be sure to give it some love 😍💜
> 
> Toodels!!! 
> 
> XOXO  
> 💜🖤


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey yall 😍
> 
> Sorry I was supposed to update yesterday but the chapter just wasn't working and I had to start it over. It gives you a little more insight into how Iris is feeling regarding the "accident" and regarding Barry so I hope you enjoy it. I'll be starting exams this coming week so my updates may suffer a little but I'll try my best to keep them up to speed.
> 
> Cliffhanger warnings apply but besides that enjoy ❤️💜💜
> 
> XOXO  
> 💜🖤

[Iris]

Bam!  
Bam-Bam!

Her gloved fists attacked the lifeless punching bag with an obvious fury. Each punch was punctuated by the harsh sound of leather on leather. She swung at it again with an impeccable right hook and the bag jiggled back, the chains jittering in protest. Her head was a storm of thoughts and emotions that she had to let out and punching away at a poor, defenceless bag allowed her to release all her pent-up emotions without having to work through them. It was unhealthy, she knew, but it hurt less.

Her most recent interactions with Barry had conjured up ghosts she thought she'd forgotten. First the public humiliation at the party, then his unprofessional tardiness and the fact that he didn't even have the courtesy to apologise for either. His actions spoke volumes of the level of respect he attributed to her and at that moment it seemed to be below zero. Yet even through all that, seeing him in his bare state awakened a sinful craving inside her that she hadn't felt in a while. Atleast not with this much force and that very reaction was the reason why she was attacking that punching bag with all she had. She was eliminating all types of frustrations from her body be they mental or sexual.

"Dang sis, what did that bag ever do to you?" Wally teased and Iris hugged the bag to her to stop it before she turned around to look at him. He was standing in the doorway that lead from the house to the back yard with his hands casually tucked into his jeans pockets and a mildly concerned look on his face.

"Nothing, just needed to blow off some steam. What's up?" She diverted.

"Wanna talk about it?" Wally pressed on, completely ignoring her question and stepping through the threshold towards her.   
She hung her head in defeat, knowing that her brother would not drop the subject until he was satisfied that she was OK.

"You're not gonna let this go are you?" She asked the floor.

"Nope. I'm glad you've realised that on your own. Saves us some precious talk time," he answered.

Iris sighed out in defeat and walked across the wodden patio to the picnic table they had set out on the opposite end while she undressed her gloved hands. It was a quiet Monday morning and the silence was calming, occasionally interrupted by the distant cry of a passing bird. She sat down and peeled the sweat drenched shirt off of her as her brother took the seat opposite her. When she looked up to meet his gaze she found it trained below her face and was about to call him out for being a disgusting perve when she remembered her scar. It was a small jagged line on her abdonem just below her left breast, yet another mark from that day that haunted her and this one was particularly cruel.

This one wasn't as safely hidden as the one on her hair that rested invisible beneath a layer of her cascading curls. This one was easily forgotten once she dressed up and went about her business but at the end of the day when it came time to rest and those clothes came off it would jump out at her in her reflection, scaring her back into a memory she couldn't seem to escape.

"I'm sorry I don't mean to stare I just, I forget that it's there. I hate that scar." Wally confessed beneath his breath, the anger startling and woven into his words.

"It's OK. I hate it too. You're lucky enough to be able to forget it. I have to have the pleasure of it lighting up in my face like an annoying motel neon sign at night." She chuckled weakly and with that ever present pain reserved for whenever that particular topic was brought up.

"I'm sorry sis. You didn't deserve what that bastard did to you. If dad hadn't kept me in the hospital that night I might have done something stupid." Wally growled and Iris offered him a sad smile of gratitude.

"He's not worth the trouble you would have gotten into for giving him an ass whopping."

"Yeah but I'd only be returning the favour, and with just cause too which is more than I can say for what he did." He retorted. His fists were on the table and wound so tightly that his knuckles began to pale.

"Calm down baby brother. It's in the past." Iris tried, placing a nurturing hand over one of them.

"Is it Iris? Is it really?" he asked sincerely and Iris drew back, her eyes widened with surprise, but soon realisation set in and she sighed. He was right. It wasn't in the past.

"You know when I was at the hospital my greatest concern wasn't on whether or not I would make it through the night. Living wasn't a concern for me because I was so deeply ashamed at what had happened. I blamed myself for staying in such a toxic relationship when all the signs were clearly there. I couldn't forgive myself for what I put you and dad through. For what I put mom through. And even though my mind was occupied trying to pin me for what had happened, I couldn't shake off the fear. The fear of having to see him again. The fear of what this meant for my life going forward. The fear of never being able to escape the nightmares, or the memories or the pain." She closed her eyes against the build up of tears that burned behind them.

"I've managed to work myself out of my dark trap. I know now that I'm the victim of an violent and unjustified crime, not the reason it occurred. That I'm not to be blamed, despite the fact that sometimes people make me question whether or not that's true." Her mind went to Barry and the look of disgust that he'd directed at her the night before. It reminded her of how she once saw herself, how she wished to get out of her own skin because she felt like the "her" she was, was unlovable and undeserving of affection.

"The guilt I've managed to surpass but the fear?" She carried on.   
"The fear I haven't been able to escape. I still fight off sleep in an attempt to delay one of thousands of possible dream outcomes. I'm still confronted with the ghosts of that part of my life every single day. I still feel the pain whenever I have a spare moment to think. It may not be physical but the emotional pain is just as excruciating and even more crippling." She sobbed, suddenly aware that she was crying.

Wally wrapped his arms around her and rested his cheek on her forehead. She cried into him, grateful for the moment of comfort. All she had said was unfortunately true and her humiliation the night before only served to prove it all. It proved that no matter how hard she worked to overcome it her past mistakes would follow her to the end of her days and as much as she wanted to blame it all on Barry he didn't force her to date Eddie. He might have been the reason why she was emotionally vulnerable enough for the psycho to get through to her but he didn't force her to stay. But that truth was far too painful for a person already under so much emotional strain and hating the once love of her life was a less piercing alternative.

"You should have filed a report. You shouldn't have let Aunt Cecile cover it up," he said.

"I couldn't do that to our family Wally. Sectionals were just around the corner and the media scandal that would have caused.... With mom being sick and my recovery I just couldn't add that to the list," she explained, though this was a half truth. The whole truth was that she was embarrassed. She didn't want anyone to know, especially not Barry.

"It was your right," her father interjected and both her and her brother looked up to find Joe watching them with a pained expression.

"It was your right and we would have stood by you no matter what baby girl." He added.  
He stepped towards them and Wally stepped aside to allow his father to take over. Joe took a seat beside Iris and pulled her to him, rubbing her back in a soothing and parental manner.

"I'll be inside if you need me." Wally whispered before taking his leave.

"I'm so sorry dad," she whispered and he held her tighter.

"You have nothing to be sorry about Iris. You-"

"I do. I really do dad." She interrupted pulling away to look at him.

"I was so desperate for affection, so desperate to be loved and wanted that I let myself get caught up in that situation. I should have been smarter, less selfish-" she rambled on but her father stopped her mid sentence.

"Alright I'm gonna stop you right there baby girl. It was not your fault. You lost your best friend, you were on the verge of losing your mother and you were under alot of pressure with your skating career. You were vulnerable Iris and that's not wrong, it's human. If anyone should be ashamed its that good for nothing scum bag that hurt you. Do you understand me?"

Iris nodded, too emotional to speak. Her father's reassurance washed over her, sweeping her away in a wave of relief. It was all she needed. Someone to tell her that she's over thinking, that her fears were getting the best of her. His words silenced her doubts, not completely but enough for her to hold her head up high again.

"Thanks dad." She smiled and he returned the expression.

"Anytime baby girl,"

"Uh, I'm sorry to interrupt sis but Barry's here and he says he needs to speak with you. He says it's urgent." Wally announced as he stepped back outside. Iris let her head fall back, too drained to deal with the situation but knowing that she would have to sooner or later. Dreading the conversation that would follow she got up from her seat with a tired sigh and put her t-shirt back on.

"I'll be right there."


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delayed replies to your comments I will get to them as soon as I possibly can I promise 😭💜
> 
> We're nearing the climax and unfortunate end of the fic but don't worry we still have a little more ground to cover. I always try to make my fics short and they end up being 30 chapters long. I'm really sorry about that 😅💜
> 
>  
> 
> Hope yall enjoy this one 😍 cliffhanger warnings apply, 😅💜
> 
>  
> 
> XOXO  
> ❤️💜

[Flashback]

Barry looked down at his bruised knuckles as he waited for the traffic light to go green. He'd left his sickly mother alone for a game that he ended up not playing thanks, yet again, to Thawne. He was honestly getting tired of him and his disturbingly promiscuous jokes. Not just because Iris was Thawnes main  target but because Barry was raised a gentleman and strongly believed that no woman should be talked about in such a degrading manner. Society called it feminism, he called it decency.

The light turned green and he drove off in the direction of the hospital. He'd considered calling his coach to inform him that he wouldn't make it but his mother insisted that he should go and win this match for her and that's exactly what he intended to do. That is until Eddie ran into his fist and got him suspended for the third time that season. OK he didn't literally run into Barry's fist but with the twisted remarks that spilled out of his mouth he might as well have. After all the run ins he's had with the sick prick he was surprised either one of them was still on the team. He guessed that the coach hated new recruits more than he hated having to deal with their constant bickering.

On the bright side, this gave him a chance to spend time with his ailing mother. He parked in the hospital parking lot and made his way inside. He walked up to the main desk to sign in the visitors log and Jessie (the usually chipper nurse) looked up at him and her smile fell.   
"Barry... I-" she stopped herself, walked around the desk towards him and gave him a hug. Barry was confused but hugged her back regardless, assuming that the poor girl was having a bad day.

"Is everything alright Jessie? Do you want to talk about it?" he asked as they broke apart from eachother and she looked at him concerned. In her eyes he could see that she was conflicted on whether or not she should disclose the situation to him but she settled on not and answered,

"Don't worry about me. Your father wants to see you."

"My father?" he asked confused and she nodded.

"He's in your mom's room."  
He thanked her and rushed over to room 112, the room his mother had been calling home for the past two months.   
He walked in slowly incase his mother was asleep and found his father there beside her with her hand safely cradled between his. This wasn't an uncommon sight. His father often visited his mother at night when he got a break from his shift and she was usually asleep. So Henry would settle now beside her and contemptly watch her rest. Nora used to joke that if she'd known that all she had to do to wake up with him beside her was move into the hospital then she would have gotten sick alot sooner.

But on this particular day, something felt wrong. The heart monitor was off, the IVs weren't in their usual spot and his father's head was down as his body trembled with silent sobs. Barry looked at his mother's pailed body and at once the reality of the situation sunk in. It all made sense all of a sudden. Her not wanting him to stay, Jessie's reaction when he saw her. His mother was gone. Barry blinked back the tears as he stepped forward, refusing to face reality. Unwilling to feel the pangs of grief. He took her hand in his and for the first time in his life it was cold. That was all it took for him to finally admit to himself that she wasn't with them any longer. He fell to the ground and tears spilled down his saddened features as a tidal wave of pain hit him without mercy. His mind was flodded with memories that would haunt him for the rest of his life and the one that stung the most was his last moments with her.

Her sickly smile, the tenderness in her eyes, the warmth in her touch despite her visible weakness. The love in her words as she cheered him on. He didn't even get to say goodbye. He knew he should have stayed, he felt it inside himself. But she insisted and he didn't want to let her down. Yet that's exactly what he did. He left his sickly mother to die alone for a trophy he didn't get to win because of some random dick head. He had failed her in more ways than one and that was a truth he would have to live with for the rest of his life.

Barry was so consumed by his grief that he barely heard when his father called out to him. He barely felt it when Henry embraced him, his own heart ache staining his aged cheeks. Barry felt completely and utterly broken inside, he felt empty, like life had lost all its meaning. Then he looked up at his mother's resting figure and it dawned on him that he did have something to live for. He had to make her proud. He had to prove to her that she didn't die alone for nothing.

"I'll never let you down again mom. I promise." With that last sentiment he hugged his father goodbye and left despite the protests. That night he argued with the coach till he let him in for the second round. They won but to Barry it was an empty victory as he knew all others would be without his mother to share them with him.

As he laid in bed, broken and unable to sleep, his thoughts travelled for a fleeting moment towards Iris. He wished she were with him because although she might not have been able to take the pain away completely, she always knew how to make him feel better. She was always his greatest supporter and one of the strongest pillars that kept him up when he felt like all else was lost. Barry looked at his silent phone on the side table and despite knowing that she probably wouldn't answer he picked it up anyway and sent her a message.

* * *

 

[Barry]

_Hey Bear, just thought I'd check up on you and see how you're doing. I miss you._

_I'm not sure if I did anything wrong and if I did I'm sorry. Just please talk to me._

_Barry, have I lost you?_

_Hey Bear, not sure if you're even getting these at this point but anyway. I just wanted to say Happy Birthday. I hope someone over there took you out for ice cream, can't break tradition or you'll have a bad year lol. Have the greatest day Barry. I love you._

_Me again. Still here, still missing you. I know you're alive cause I see your face everywhere. Congratulations on your win by the way. I really wish you'd text back._

_I honestly don't know why I keep sending you these. I guess I'm optimistic. I still think you're gonna wake up one day and remember me. Please remember me._

_I'm not sure how much longer I can do this Barry. I keep holding on to the hope that you'll come back to me. That we can finally put all of this behind us and just be together. That kiss we shared... It had to have meant something to you too right?_

_I can't wait any longer Bear. I tried but I can't. I have to move on. I really did love you, you know? Part of me still does and I think it always will but I can't keep living my life like this. Trapped in a dream that's never gonna come true. So, I guess this is goodbye. I won't bother you anymore._

_Bear. I need you, call me._

_I just read about your mom's passing. I'm so sorry for your loss. I tried to call but it kept saying that you're not available, I guess the signal is probably jammed. I just wanted to let you know that I'm here if you need anything. I've been in your shoes so I know what it's like, it does get better Bear. I promise. I'm here for you always. I love you._

Barry felt a tear slip from his eyes as he read her messages back. Cisco had managed to retrieve the lost information and sent it all to him. The overload of texts and emails was almost too much to read through so he focused on the most recent attempts, his heart crumbling with each new message. He'd found out about Iris's moms passing two weeks after the actual funeral and completely by chance. His father had traveled to Central City during the week of her death and brought back with him a local newspaper. It was in there, under the obituary section, that Barry had come across the unfortunate news. He was hurt for Iris, imagining all the pain she was probably in but the fact that he hadn't found out from her made him think twice about sending her a message. She probably didn't want to hear from him or else she would have called.

So when his own plea for solace came unanswered, as hurt as he was, he somehow understood. Tit for tat. But she was, in fact, the better person between them both. Not only did she ask him to be there for her but she was also there for him when he needed her most. He just didn't know it.

"You screwed up Barry. You screwed up big time." he told himself, wiping away at his eyes. She'd waited for him, held out hope for him, even loved him but someone made her think that he didn't care. That he'd forgotten. That he didn't love her just as much or at all. Seeing her loss of faith so clearly expressed in words painted a picture of what her life must have been. The pain she must have felt. The loneliness she must have been drowning in. Suddenly, it all made sense. He understood why she reacted the way she did when she first saw him. Why she met him with an angry scowl when he knocked on her door. Even her dating that good for nothing Thawne made sense.

At the thought of that the party came into focus and Barry's blood ran cold as he remembered exactly how he humiliated her. She didn't deserve that, no one deserved that, especially not after all she'd been through. It was so unlike him to be so rude and heartless. Especially to someone he cared about, someone he loved. His eyes widened in realisation as it dawned on him that his actions were inspired by jealousy. He was hurt that she'd still pursue Eddie while he was there. While he was trying day in and day out to tell her that she was still on his mind and she never responded. But she did, he just never got her responses and she never got his reassurance.

_You fucked up royaly Allen._ He thought as frustration began to build inside him. He'd managed to push away the one person in his life that he could actually count on and he didn't know how on earth he was going to fix it. Barry just knew that he had to try.  His mind wouldn't stop working as he waited for Iris to meet him outside. Wally had asked if he wanted to go in but he felt like he would be intruding so he politely declined. He was nervous and didn't know how to say what he had to say despite the fact that he'd sat in that hotel room for hours trying to figure it out. He'd thought of a million and one ways to do it and of infite ways in which to phrase his apology but nothing seemed good enough.

_How do you apologise for something like this?_ he asked himself. He wondered how he could stop a snowball from crashing when it had been building up for 7 years. His train of thought was interrupted as the door behind him opened and he turned around to see Iris step through. Her eyes were red and puffy and despite the fact that she'd washed the tear stains away he could clearly see that she'd been crying. Barry felt like hitting himself for putting her through so much. He wanted to hold her then and comfort her but he knew that as hurt as she probably was she'd only push him away.

"What do you want Bartholomew?" she sniffled trying to keep her gaze on his, yet he could still hear the tremble of a held back sob in her voice. Barry opened his mouth to answer but was suddenly muted by the overwhelming amount of guilt and shame he felt over his actions, more over how his actions had impacted on her. Finally he said the only words he could say in that moment.

"I'm sorry Iris."


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was supposed to post this yesterday but I got a little distracted and didn't get to finish it. 😭 I'm super sorry about that 🙏🏾 It's a bit of an angsty chapter so please be prepared.😢💜
> 
> Now I need your help with a decision. I have two different ways in which I can work out the plot I have planned. One is relatively longer than the other. What I need to know from you is are you ready for Frozen Hearts to end and for me to start a new fic or would you rather I take the long route to the inevitable? 🙂🤔💜
> 
> No cliffhanger warnings apply so you're safe 💜 enjoy 🤭
> 
> XOXO  
> 🖤💜

[Flashback]

She sat in her room, dressed from head to toe in black, staring blankly at the floor and feeling hollow inside. Beneath her the house was a buzz with sympathetic mourners offering her family looks of pitty and more comfort food then they'd know what to do with it. After the billionth "I'm sorry for you loss" she sneaked up into her bedroom and locked herself in there, unable to thank people any further for being politically correct. Those people didn't know what she was going through. They had no idea how empty and lifeless she felt. How her heart ached to look into that kitchen and realise that her mother would never prepare a single meal there ever again. To pass by her parents bedroom door and know with a heart shattering certainty that she wouldn't be on the other end. To walk away from her mother's grave with the notion that she'd be walking into an empty house, a place that was a littles less home without Francine's warm laughter and boisterous voice echoing through it.

She sat on her bed in shock, chilled to the bone (though the weather outside was relatively warm) and completely dried out of all her tears. All she could do was stare at the ground and sigh. Her mothers passing had made her painfully aware of all she'd lost. Her mother, her ability to skate and her best friend all within the span of two short years. She was exhausted and just about ready to give up on happiness, she couldn't bare the heart ache of another loss. She was afraid it might kill her.

Iris found herself sinking into a sea but staying alive, drowning over and over again with no land in sight. No one to save her. She was swimming, trying to stay a float and everytime she thought she might just make it, a wave crashed upon her, forcing her under once again. She needed a life guard, a hero, someone who could drag her out of her misery and show her that the world wasn't all that bad. That there was still a possibility of happiness along some distant shore, she just needed help getting there.

From the depths of her memory an image resurfaced. Barry's smilling face at her bedside when she woke up at the hospital after her appendix got removed. The same face he had the night after her mother's first chemo session and believe it or not it was that exact same expression that he offered her the day she got her first cramp. The warmth that radiated from his smile communicated a message that he would always be there to keep her from stormy seas. That he would hold her when the storm came and keep her safe through the thunder. That was the smile she needed then and it was with that subconscious notion that she picked up her phone and sent him a message.

Nothing prolonged yet urgent enough that she hoped he would respond. Her final plea written with the utmost sincerity:

_Barry, I need you_

* * *

 

[Iris]

She could barely believe what her ears had just heard. The words she longed to hear him say the most yet was some how unprepared to hear them. She'd been in a state of defence for so long that finding the acceptance needed for forgiveness proved to be challenging. She was hurt and on a more subliminal level she was angry.

"Sorry for what exactly Barry," she croaked while trying to keep her voice steady. His eyes seemed sincere and the creases of distress along his beautiful face were so foreign to the Barry she knew, so out of place.

"For the past seven years," he answered with a tone of defeat.   
"I'm sorry for leaving, I'm sorry for not being there when you needed me, I'm sorry for thinking that you would ever forget about us, I'm -"

"Forget about us? What do you mean forget about us? I started thinking that there was no _us_  to forget. You made that perfectly clear when you erased me from your life without a second thought," she cut him off, the pain in her voice more pronounced than she anticipated.

"That's just the thing Iris, I didn't. It might be hard to belive, I know, but until this morning - until a few hours ago - I had no idea that you tried to reach out to me. I hadn't received any of your texts or calls." he explained and his eyes didn't betray a single shred of dishonesty.  
"And I'm guessing you didn't receive any of mine."

At that her eyes widened. She shook her head 'no'.   
"The last message I got from you was the one you sent the morning you left for London. I stayed up all night waiting for your call. For two nights I waited for my phone to ring but it never did. But I defended you. Against myself, against the person my mind was painting you out to be. My heart could never imagine you as a selfish, inconsiderate prick. At least not until last night," she confessed, the sting of tears returning to her eyes.

"I'm mostly sorry about that. I was enraged, I might even say jealous. All I saw at that moment was you, with him. He always prided himself and having been your first and it just killed me inside to picture you with such a scum of a human being. You deserved better. You deserved - "

"You? Isn't that what you're thinking? That I deserved you? Someone who knew me, who appreciated me, who would have valued me for the person I was not just the body I had to offer? Well guess what Barry? You weren't here. You told me you'd always be here, you built a fortress around me and being the sentimental idiot that I was I believed you. I let myself be comforted by your lies and empty promises and when you left, when you forgot about me - about us - you took all that away. I was vulnerable and alone and believe it or not Eddie can be pretty convincing when he wants to be. So yeah. I fell for him. I put myself in his hands in hopes that he would fix me, that he would put me back together from the mess that losing you had turned me into." The strength of her revelations brought the tears back with an unstoppable force and her shoulders began to tremble slightly as they ran down her cheeks. Her face a steel mask.

A flash of pain passed briefly through his eyes and he reached out to hold her but she backed away from his touch.

"If you need any confirmation then it's true. Eddie was my first, but he wasn't my only first. You were my first kiss, and the first man to ever break my heart. I've found a way to live with that, I hope you can too."

"Iris I -"

"I know Barry. You're sorry, but you know what? Sorry isn't going to fix this. I don't know what happened between our texts and quite frankly, right now, I could care less. Nothing is going to take back the humiliation you put me through last night, or make me unfeel the sting of your words and nothing can change the way you see me."   
I look at him for a mere second longer, taking in his features before I turn away and open the door to make my escape inside. Before I step in I leave him with a whispered, over the shoulder remark.

"I'm sorry too, Barry. Sorry that I ever let you take me back on to the ice that day. My life would have been alot less painful if I'd just learned to lick my own wounds." 


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A-hoy there shippers! 😍
> 
> Deepest apologies for the late update, I kinda had to restart this one a few times before I finally felt happy with how it turned out. Hope you agree with it 😍 we're working towards our end so I hope this chapter has a "final feel". But be warned not everything is as it seems 😂💜 and now before I spoil everything enjoy!
> 
> Btw: cliffhanger warnings apply 🙈
> 
> Ship-ya-later  
> XOXO  
> 🖤💜

[Barry]

He saw the door closing infront of him and a crippling fear grabbed hold of his heart. The fear of losing her, of not being able to make things right. Instinctively he put his foot in the door, blocking it from closing and pressed his hand up against the frame to open it again.

"Iris please if you would just..."

She sighed and shook her head.  
"Barry let's agree to tolerate eachother for the duration of the competition and once that's over we go our separate ways. It's better off that way."

"But I don't want you to just tolerate me Iris," he exclaimed, the desperation clear in his voice.

"Barry..." she started

"Look I screwed up but it wasn't my fault. Someone hacked into my phone and blocked your number. That's why I didn't get any of your messages and you didn't get any of mine. If you'll just listen to me please." he pleaded.

She crossed her arms and offered him a defeated glare.

"I'm listening," she breathed out, her voice bordering on annoyed.

"Thank you. I didn't ignore you or forget about you. Gosh you were the only thing I could think about whenever I stepped on the ice, whenever things got bad, every birthday and Christmas and New Years. I sent you so many messages and postcards and...and letters but I had no idea that you weren't getting any of them. Iris I..."

"That's enough Allen," she interrupted sharply.

"But..."

"I said that's enough Barry! Do you really expect me to believe that story? That someone hacked into your cellphone and blocked all my messages? If they did then how did you know about my mother's funeral huh? And what about all the letters and post cards, what, did the evil hacker find a way to manipulate the post office too?"

"Iris please you..."

"Save it Allen. You know I wasn't even upset about the messages, I'd gotten over that. I was upset at the fact that you humiliated me infront of God knows how many people and their camera phones. I was upset at the fact that the one person outside of my family who I thought really knew me had the audacity to call me a slut because of some childish grudge he happens to have against my ex!" she yelled. Hearing her screams Joe made his way to the door.

"Is everything all right here?" he asked looking sternly from Iris to Barry and she nodded.

  
"Yeah dad. Everything's fine. We're done here. As a matter of fact you can rip up the stupid entry papers. I'd rather face my chances with Eddie." she spat before she pushed past her father and dissappeared inside.

"Iris!" he yelled but Joe closed the door behind him and pulled Barry outside.

"It's best to give her, her space son. She's angry and hurt and if you want to have a chance at skating with her then you'll have to give her time to heal." He advised.

"I don't care about the skating Mr West. I just want my best friend back." Barry lamented.

"Well then, in that case you're gonna have to stop thinking with your head and start acting with your heart. She just wants the truth Barry. The truth and to feel like her best friend isn't a complete stranger who left her for a few trophies. She's been through alot in your absence." Joe threaded lightly.

"So have I." Barry admitted.

"Then tell her that. Open up to her. Prove to her that you really mean what you say. Just give her time to calm down first." He said. Barry's phone began to vibrate and Joe gave his shoulder a subtle squeeze before going inside. Looking down at the ringing device Barry saw Snart's name flash on the screen and moved his finger to reject the call. With that he headed back to his car and drove back to the hotel where he stayed locked away and isolated.

Two days went by and he couldn't shake off the feeling he'd had when he walked away from Iris's house that afternoon. The feeling of hopelessness, like a fundamental part of him was stripped away and there was nothing he could do to get it back. He'd turned off his phone and confined himself to his hotel room, wallowing in his misery and drowning his depression in bottles of very expensive yet horribly tasting liquor.

"Teddy Bear? Can I come in?" Patty asked softly from the other end and Barry promptly ignored her. He was stuck, he didn't see a way forward. He'd lost the one person he'd spent his life trying to keep, he'd found out that he couldn't trust anyone around him and he was still waiting for Cisco to try and find out who hacked him so he could get some answers. He felt like a blind coward. Hiding out till the great big mess called "his life" was miraculously cleaned up.

"Allen!" Snart bellowed, sending a wave of pain through Barry's head.  
"You've missed practice your documentary is on hold and you've done absolutely nothing to win the sponsor's favour! Time is money and they're getting fidgety! Allen!" He droned and Barry pressed a pillow over his wailing head to soften out the noise. The doors began to rattle with the force of Snart's fists and eventually Barry caved and unlocked them.

"What?!" he screamed then winced, immediately regretting the action as his brain throbbed.

"Look at you, you're a me..."

"Do me a favour and shut up. Oh and keep your voice down, I have the worst migraine," Barry whispered and watched, unphased, as annoyance registered on Snart's features.

"Allen..." Snart warned.

"Snart." Barry stood his ground. "Now that we have that out of the way, what do you want?" He asked looking completely hung over and uninterested.

"What I want is for you to clean up and get your ass down to that rink before I drag you there myself," Snart fumed while returning to his usual cool, calm and collected manner.

Barry chuckled softly, opened the door wider and stepped out. Patti was in a corner behind Snart and she looked at him concerned but Barry barely gave her the time of day.

"Ted...." she swallowed her words once Barry shot her a no nonsense look and quietly left the room, her eyes glimmering with tears.

"OK now that you've said your piece. Here's mine." he said while walking over to the coffee table where a cold breakfast was waiting for him. He poured himself a glass of orange juice and turned to adress Snart as he took casual sips of his drink.

"First of all, Iris is pissed at me and she's backed out of our deal. If you bothered to read the text I'd sent you, you would have known that."

"Well, she..."

"I'm not finished!" Barry snapped and for the first time since they'd been working together Snart found himself swallowing his tongue.

"Now, as I was saying. Secondly, you seriously need to stop talking to me like I'm a child. I've given you all the liberty to manage my career over the last seven years but I'm still the one who signs your paychecks. So act like it. The documentary can wait, tell them I'm sick or dying I don't know figure something out. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a Netflix series to binge watch." He offered Snart a sarcastic smile and started towards his bedroom.

"What in the name has gotten into you Allen?" Snart asked, his voice sounding unfamiliar with shock.

"I grew up Leo. Now do me a favour and get out before I fire you. This hangover won't nurse itself." With that he locked himself back in his room, leaving a stunned and speechless Snart staring after him in the living room.

Normally he'd give a damn and as soon as Snart said jump he'd immediately ask how high but he really had grown in the past few days and something inside him just didn't care anymore. For all he knew Leo could be behind the hacks, he could be the very reason why Barry found himself in the situation he was in. Feeling betrayed, with a career on its way to the grave and having found out too late that he was still in love with his childhood crush. A love that would never see the light of day because he'd lost her for good.  
His cellphone chimed and Barry reached for it. It was Cisco.

"Please give me good news." Barry pleaded.

"Well I got the identity and location of your mystery hacker and yes I did all that in two days. You're very welcome." Cisco informed.

"Thank you." Barry chuckled softly. "Now what have you got for me?"

"Does the name Hartley Rathaway ring any bells?" Cisco asked and lines of confusion formed on Barry's forehead.

"No, I don't have the slightest idea who that could be."

"Well he seems to know you enough to want to hack you and boy do you know how to pick your enemies. This dudes resume has genius written all over it. There are words in his self published online papers that I don't think the dictinoray knows exist," Cisco stated seeming half impressed and half annoyed.

"I definetly don't know him." Barry reassured him, remembering the conversations he used to have with Cisco during their early college days. Francisco Ramone was the only reason Barry hated and also passed anything science or tech related.

"That is not a problem my technologically challenged friend I just so happen to have a plan B." Barry heard a few keys being pressed on the other side and grew anxious. This could be exactly the proof he needed to win Iris back.

"What are you doing now?" he asked.

"I'm trying to hack your hacker to..."

"To what? Did you get something Cisco?"

"Bingo! So turns out Mr not-so-smarty-pants was sending all the information to someone else. Probably the person who ordered the hack in the first place," a few more keys pressed.

"OK....do you know a Leonard?" Cisco asked and Barry's eyes nearly popped out of his sockets.

"Leonard. As in Leonard Snart?" he asked.

"Um yeah actually that's the guys exact name...wait a second. Isn't that the douche bag who's been managing your career?" Cisco pointed out but Barry was already way a head of him.

"Yeah. That's him and he is so dead. Thanks for the tip Cisco. I have to go." Barry said hurriedly then hung up. His migraine had reached extreme proportions but he pushed through the pounding in his head and stormed out of his suite towards Snart's.   
He pushed open the doors with a great amount of force and they banged on the walls opposite them, announcing his arrival.

"Snart!" he yelled as he stormed into the office space and found it completely empty. With his anger at its peak he proceeded to search the mini apartment/suite, starting with the bedroom. The sight that greeted him when he opened the double doors sent him over the edge and Barry was just about ready to shoot someone.

"Teddy Bear!" Patty exclaimed as she scrambled to cover her bare chest with the ruffled sheets.

"Get out." Barry said coldly, his voice low and dangerous.

"Babe, let me expla..."

"Get the fuck out Patty!" He yelled and a startled Patty obeyed. With the sheets wrapped around her she creeped out of the room fresh tears streaming down her face. Barry was left alone with Snart and he watched steadily as the other man made himself decent.

"Well Allen. Cats out the b...."

Barry silenced him with a dizzying punch to the jaw that sent Snart flying to the wall. His back hit the structure with a bang and his fingers flew to his bleeding lip.

"You son of a bitch! I trusted you! I let you run my life and what do you do? You stab me in the back and manipulate me!" Barry yelled. Snart spat a mouth full of blood to the ground and addressed Barry with his usual cold calmness.

"Please Allen. Don't you think you're being just a tad dramatic? It's not like you haven't shared her with the rest of the team." He pointed out.

"I'm not talking about Patty you bastard! Although now it all makes sence why you were so set on keeping her around as my girlfriend. She literally screwed you into submission." Barry snarled in an attempt to sound threatening without rasing his voice but Snart kept his cool.

"So why exactly did you storm into my room like a mad man?" He asked, grewing annoyed.

"Because you betrayed my trust and invaded my privacy by having my phone hacked ang getting Iris's phone number blocked!" Barry yelled yet again and yet again a wave of pain jack hammered through his brain. Snart's eyes widened as he took on the expression of a deer caught in headlights.

"You thought I wouldn't find out didn't you?" Barry snapped at the mute figure but he found himself reaching for the wall to steady himself. The migraine had worsened to the point where he felt disoriented and his vision blurred. He closed his eyes against the pain and fell into a never ending darkness.

 

 


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there!
> 
> I'm trying to update quick but I have two other fics I'm working on so I'm having mini writing marathons here. 😂💜 This chapter is also quite loaded, a few questions get answered and a few more are raised, cliffhanger warnings apply so please read cautiously and... Well enjoy 😂💜
> 
> Quick Q : I was going to leave updating Au till we're done with Frozen Hearts so that it doesn't become too much information but do you shippers want both stories? I do have other chapters ready to be posted just keeping them on hold so don't worry it won't be added pressure if you do😊💜
> 
> XOXO  
> 💜💜

[Iris]

 

"OK, that's good. Now give me a turn." she instructed and watched as the young class attempted to spin on the ice. The movements were raw and awkward but no one fell so Iris considered it a victory. With her connection to the ice restored she decided to help her aunt out and took the junior classes. It also made her feel better about backing out in her agreement. She knew how much her aunt wanted her to make a name for herself in the skating world but the more time passed, the less Iris felt like the universe had the same idea in mind.

 

"Alright mini skaters give yourselves a hand that was very good! That's it for today so you can go on and get changed. I'll see you all again next week." She said and a gleeful chatter erupted from the children as they skated their way out of the rink. Iris watched them leave, waving some of them goodbye and exchanging small talk with some of the parents before she went to the staff lockers to get her things. On her way out she passed by her aunt's office to say goodbye.

 

"Hey Aunt Cecile, I'm done for the day. Do you need anything before I take off?" She asked and Cecile looked up at her with her specs on and a distant expression.

 

"Oh Iris, yes, yes, yes. Come in deary I need you to sign something for me." She said suddenly then shuffled the papers on her desk around till she found the one she was looking for. She placed it infront of Iris with a pen.

 

"It's a formal withdrawal letter, part of the terms and conditions. Any way I need both you and Barry to sign it but I can't get a hold of him nor Snart. Could you do me a favour and deliver it to them?" Cecile asked giving Iris her best pouty look.

 

"Aunt Cecile..." Iris sighed. "You know I love you right? But I really don't want to..."

 

"Please. I know you both ended it off on bad terms but I really need this signed. The sooner the better." she said and gave Iris a pleading look. Once again Iris sighed out defeated then she signed the paper, folded it up and put it in her purse.

 

"Alright. I'll do it but only because I love you," she said and Cecile squealed joyously.

 

"Thank you so much. I'd hug you right now but getting up is a bit of a process." she said and Iris laughed before she said goodbye and headed out.

 

She tried to keep her spirits up as she drove to the hotel but she couldn't help the uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach. She hadn't seen Barry in two days and she was starting to get accustomed to it. You know what they say : out of sight, out of mind. Iris did admit to herself that she had her moments of weakness where she still thought about him and deep down she knew that a part of her would always love him. She just had to learn how to ignore it. She parked her car and gave herself a little pep talk before making her way to his suite. When she got there she found the door half open and walked in cautiously. She'd learned her lesson the last time she barged into his room.

 

"Barry?" she asked tentatively but there was no response.

"Barry?" she tried again and again there was no answer. She cautiously opened the door to his room and found it completely empty. His phone was vibrating on his bed, the name Cisco flashing urgently across the screen, and so she picked it up and answered it.

 

"Hello?" she asked

 

"Who is this? Are you part of Snart's crew? What have you done to my best friend!" came the voice from the other end.

 

"Uh. I'm Iris," she said confused.

 

"Ah. So you're one of the good guys. OK, so do you know where Barry is?" he asked.

 

"Good guys? And no, I was actually hoping you could tell me where he is." Iris exclaimed.

 

"Yeah good guys. You're not working with Snart on whatever evil scheme he's...well scheming." Cisco explained, dragging Iris deeper into her confusion. She heard the main door to Barry's suite slam shut followed by a scream of frustration.

 

"Listen someone's here, I'll call you back," she whispered into the phone then also hung up before Cisco could protest. She tip toed to the bedroom door that she had left open just a crack and peeked outside.

 

"Ugh he's such an imbecile!" came Patty's frustrated cry. She was getting dressed and seemed to be enraged. Iris really didn't feel like dealing with an angry Patty (way too many questions that she didn't feel like answering) so she decided to stay in her corner and wait until the fire breathing chihuahua left. The doors opened yet again and this time it was Snarts voice she heard.

 

"Get dressed we need to get to the hospital, Barry passed out, the ambulance is on its way." He said and at that Iris contemplated opening the door to ask what was happening but what Patti said next froze her to her spot.

 

"OK good the ambulance is on its way. Now sit down and wait."

 

"Patty I can't just..."

 

"I said sit!" she commanded and Snart swallowed his tongue and sat down.

 

"What does he know?" Patti asked and from her vantage point Iris could see that she was pouring herself a drink.

 

"Just about the hack. He found out that we blocked Iris's cellphone number." Snart answered.

 

"Do I have to say I told you so?" Patty asked.

 

"Whose bright idea was it to block her number in the first place?" Snart asked sarcastically. 

 

"Mine! And it was working till you decided to drag him back for a trip down memory lane." Patty spat.

 

"Well what did you expect me to do? The documentary was the investors idea and we couldn't say no to that. Or have you forgotten the little mess you got us into?" Snart spat back.

 

"Mess I got us into? Well forgive me mister but last time I checked it takes two to make a baby. Maybe if you'd learned how to put a condom on right we wouldn't be here!" she screamed.

 

"Yeah well maybe if you weren't such a little whore we wouldn't be here either." Snart hissed. Iris heard Patty place her drink on the table then saw her hold a dagger to Snarts neck.

 

"I might fuck you on ocassion but don't forget who's in charge. I still have enough poison stored away to give you a quick and natural looking death you got that?" she threatened.

 

"Yes ma'am," came Snarts strained compliance.

 

"Good. Now get Eddie on the phone, we need to take care of that bitch before Barry gets anymore ideas." Patti commanded while getting off of Snart and retrieving her drink.

 

"Eddie? What for?" he asked.

 

"Well Leo, I'm gonna have him do what you should have done in the first place. Terminate that bitchy wench," she said and took a casual sip of her drink. Iris felt her blood run cold and moved away from the door slowly.

 

"You already have one death on your hands do you really think that's wise?" Snart asked.

 

"Shut up and dial. We didn't get caught the first time and we won't get caught the second. Now stop questioning my orders and just do as I say."

 

The sound of the ambulance echoed from a far, growing louder as it came nearer and Iris breathed out a silent sigh of relief at the possibility of escape.

 

"Come on, the ambulance is here we should get...." Snart's words were interrupted by the sound of Iris's ringtone and she felt herself freeze with fear as she realised that she had just been made. She looked for a place to hide but besides the bathroom and the closet (which were both open spaces) there was no where to hide. As the footsteps grew closer she searched, in a panic for another option, and that's when it hit her. The bed.

She was just about small enough to fit underneath it so she squeezed through and did her best to lay still. While she waited she put her phone on silent and held her breath as the door opened. The foot steps were slow and daunting, covering every inch of the bedroom and suddenly Iris knew what it was like to be trapped in a slasher film.

 

She said a silent prayer that they wouldn't look under the bed and to her luck they didn't. They left the room and she waited until she heard the main doors open and close before she ventured out of her hiding spot. She was trembling and her heart seemed about ready to rip out of her chest. She needed to get out of there. Clasping her phone in her hand she opened the door and ran for it.

 

"Well, well, well. If it isn't Ms West." She stopped dead in her tracks as Snarts voice sounded from behind her and sent chills down her spine. She didn't turn to look at him, preferring to make her escape instead but as soon as she opened the door she came face to face with Eddie. 

 

"Leaving so soon?" he asked and before she could respond a sharp pain blinded her from behind and she was out cold. 

Iris came to with a raging headache, on Barry's bed. It was dark and the place was mostly quiet if not for the sounds of life going on in the streets below. She got off the bed and the room began to spin so she had to sit back down and wait for the dizziness to wear off before she could try again. She felt her way around the dark room, tripping over a few things here and there, until she reached the doors. They were locked and when she reached for the light switch and turned it on not a single key was in sight. 

 

"Snart! Let me out!" she pounded on the door, an action she soon regretted as the pounding echoed in her aching head. 

 

"No can do Ms West. You know a little too much for your own good and until we can have your word that you won't be taking this to Barry we can't risk letting you out." he said. 

 

"Barry and I are barely speaking. What makes you think that he'll believe me?" she asked while still tugging on the locks as hard as she could. 

 

"Love Ms West. That's what." He answered. 

 

"Barry doesn't love me." She retorted weakly, her voice just above a whisper. 

 

"Oh that he does, but I had a feeling you wouldn't believe me. Now if you'll listen to me carefully I want you to walk over to the left side table and open it. Inside you should find a pack of envelopes. Those are all letters from him to you Ms West. Letters that I happen to have...*collected*, for safe keeping." he directed. She did as she was told and just as he'd said she found a stack of envelopes neatly tied together by a red bow. 

 

"I got them." she informed. 

 

"Good, then you won't be bored while we visit your prince charming at the hospital." he answered and she heard the door opening as he left. Before it closed he shouted back:

 

"Oh and Iris, while you read the letters do keep in mind that if anything of what you heard today gets to Barry you're both joining Mrs Allen in eternal slumber. Enjoy your reading."

 


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm on a bit of a roll here, trying to make up for lost time 😂💜 cliffhanger warnings apply. 
> 
> Enjoy 😍💜

[Iris]

_Dear Iris_

Every letter started that way. Each one more desperate then the next. Each filled with some form of pain and each revealing a piece of information about his life. Letters written over seven years and with every word she read a piece of her heart tore off....

_Dear Iris_

_People might call me and idiot for still trying but after the year I've had I need something good and you're the only thing I have left._

_I couldn't find a skating partner so my career might be over. My mom got shot and though she's better now the doctors say the area around her heart might never fully heal. To top it all off we might not be moving to Keystone. That means that I'll have to be away from you for who knows how long. I'd say that maybe that's what's best but like I wrote before you're the only good thing I have left._

_That's why I keep on writing. That's why I keep on texting and trying to call. I can't let go of our friendship Iris and I can't help how I feel about you. Hoping that you're at home, thinking about me too and waiting for me like I'm waiting for you is the only thing that keeps me going. The only thing that brings me joy even though you don't write back. Maybe someday, by some miracle, you will._

_I love you Iris, I always will. I'll see you again someday. Say hi to your dad and Wally for me._

_Lots of love_   
_Barry_

She let the tears stream down her face as the realisation cleared her thoughts. He hadn't forgotten about her, he hadn't replaced her nor abandoned her. He'd loved her just as much as she'd loved him over the past few years and they might have found a way around the distance if only they'd been able to talk to each other...

_I got kicked off the ice hockey team today. Eddie was acting up again for the billionth time and once again I smashed his head in. Don't be upset for me though. I'm not. I never liked ice hockey any way, I just bare it cause my agent thought it was a good idea to keep me on the ice while I waited for a partner. I know that's never gonna happen, there's only one girl in this world that I can skate with and that's you._

Iris put the puzzle together. He lost ice hockey because of her. A career that kept him close to the ice he loved so much. She knew that he was probably lying not to make her feel bad and she found it endearing. He sacrificed his career for her honour and loved her to the point of being willingly blind to the truth that her and Eddie had actually been an item.

_I'm sorry Iris. I've failed you. Patty's expecting and it's mine. I'm not in love with her but I can't just abandon her now. I'm really scared Iris, I don't know what this means for us. I really wish you'd write back._

Poor Barry. If he only knew that Patty's child wasn't actually his. The paper had spots of imperfection on them. Spots that look like they were made from tear drops. He was petrified both of being a father and of losing her. The main doors opened again and three sets of foot steps echoed in. She heard the bedroom doors unlock and stood up from her place on the floor to greet her kidnappers with a defying look of bravery on her face. She refused to let them know just how broken she trully was.

"Ah, Ms West. I see you're still awake. Good. Now if you'd follow me into the living room please, and _don't_ get any ideas. We've secured the doors and Patty has incredible aim with a knife." He warned before he walked out and Iris obliged with his orders. She sat down on the couch and looked at each of them with disgust.

"How's Barry?" she asked trying to keep the urgency out of her voice and a satisfied grin crept over the villains faces.

"I see you've read your _love_ letters Ms West," Snart pointed out while pouring himself a drink.

"Yes I have," she answered shortly, trying to keep the teary quiver from her voice.

"Perfect. So here's how things are gonna go down." Patty said while peeling herself from the wall she was leaning against and walking over to them. In her hands she twirled the dagger she had used earlier to threaten Snart.

"Before you make your demands can you please answer my question," Iris requested, keeping her voice low in order to maintain control over it.

"You're awfully worried for someone who doesn't care about him," Patty taunted with a malevolent smile.

"He hurt me. Yes. But that doesn't mean I don't still care about him." Iris explained.

"Well he's fine. Just a little dehydrated but he'll live. For now," Snart answered.

"What do you mean 'for now'?" Iris asked, growing agitated.

"Well. Let's just say that he's at the hospital and with you're recent rejection he's in an extremely vulnerable place. That being said, if you don't do exactly what we want we'll make sure he meets a quick and untraceable death." Party threatens.

"What do you want?" Iris asked.

"That's simple. We want you to go into that hospital room and be a super supportive friend. Pretend like you've realised what a mistake you've made by rejecting Barry. Make up some big old sap story thats believable and as your big finish you are going to tell Barry that you want to skate with him." Patty explained.

"Why me? Why don't you skate with him?"  
Iris queried.

"Because Barry and I have no compatibility on the ice." Patty answers.

"Or in life clearly. Tell me one thing are you even sure the child you lost was Leo's?" Iris challenged and the scowl that smeared over the other woman's lips was evil enough to raise the dead.

"Yes I'm sure. He was the only one I'd been intimate with when it happened. Fortunately for me, Barry is a lightweight when it comes to drinking and I prefer to sleep with my clothes off. You get the picture," she expalined.

"Wow. That's alot to go through to keep a man you clearly have no interest in. Tell me what was your end goal? To become the next Mrs Allen?" Iris asked and folded her arms as she leaned back into her seat. Her confidence was growing.

"Oh goodness no. That woman was a pain in my ass. Always so nice and polite and just. Boy was I glad when she kicked the bucket," Patty spat.

"You mean when you killed her." Iris corrected.

"How the hell do you know that?" Patty asked confused.

"I didn't. I assumed. You just gave me confirmation." Iris answered with a smug smile which she kept on her face when Patty's blade was on her neck.

"Now Patti. Calm down. We need her alive." Snart tried to talk some sense into her and though her gaze was fiery with anger she stepped back.

"Again. I don't understand why you need me. Barry has a perfectly good career as a speed skater." Iris pointed out.

"Had, a very good career as a speed skater. The whole miscarriage fiasco got him in deep waters with his coach and since this was his second offense, well the board wasn't too happy," Snart explained.

"Why are we even explaining all this to her?" Eddie asked.

"Because we're going to give her a choice. Either work with us or watch the love of her life perrish. If she's as smart a girl as I think she is she'll pick the former in which case we need her to know exactly who she's dealing with," Snart answered.

"Oh I am smart Leo. Smart enough to realise that it's not worth being scared of third rate thieves," Iris spat and tried to keep her voice steady.

"Oh but you should be scared Ms West. You should be petrified, in fact, because for the past sevens years we've been controlling you and Barry like puppets." He boasted.

"Oh really? How's that?" Iris questioned.

"Oh my goodness what is this an interrogation?" Patty exclaimed.

"Look bitch. 60% of what Barry earns has been ours for the past seven years and he hasn't got a clue. His dad's new job? Yeah that was us. His mom's death? Yeah us too. The two of you not talking? Guilty as charged and I'm sorry to say but your relationship with Eddie was a sham too. Every little detail of your pathetic life has been orchestrated by us, besides your mom's death that is, although I must say that would have been a nice touch. There. You happy now?"

A satisfied grin crept over Iris's lips as she stood up and said,

"Extatic. Come on in Dad."

At that, the doors to the suite burst free of their hinges and the room was immediately swarmed by armed men in uniform. Joe West walked towards them and reached for Patty as two other guards hand cuffed Eddie and Snart.

"What the hell is going on here?" Patty asked bewildered as Joe tightened the cuffs around her wrist and Iris answered with great satisfaction,

"I believe you're being arrested. Bitch."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're probably super confused or super irritated with me right now and for that I'm sorry. I know you probably have a few questions and let me tell you that I was of sane mind when I wrote this chapter so believe me when I tell the plot twist is not a mistake. 😂💜Next chapter will explain everything 💜 try not to hate me too much please. I love you shippers 😘
> 
> XOXO  
> 💜🖤


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there strangers!  
> (Well technically I'm the stranger and I'm sorry for that)
> 
> This chapter is going to make you see everything that's happened since Chapter 14 in a completely new light and I hope it answers some of the questions you might still have. I'm sorry for not replying to all your feedback, it's been a mad weekend but I will get to it right away. Shipper's Honor ✋🏼

[Flashback]

_Dear Iris_

_I can't tell you how many times I've written letters to you in hope that you'd answer and you just never did. Now I know why. Before I explain what I mean don't read this letter out loud nor contemplate your answer out loud. I'm not 100% sure but I think your house might be bugged._

_It turns out my manager has been scheming against me and I think his working with Eddie. He's been making me sign false contracts and taking more than half of what I'm actually supposed to be earning and after you showed no knowledge of my letters or texts I assumed he'd done something to my phone too. I'm waiting to get some proof before I catch them both but I'm gonna need your help._

_If you accept then come to the party tonight. Eddie will be there and I need us to argue. The more public the better. I need them to think I'm preoccupied with fixing my broken heart over you so that they can let their guard down. I'll find a way to get you a burner phone with my burner number in it. A friend of mine, his name is Cisco, he's in on the plan too and so if you need any help he's your guy._

_I'm sorry to just spring this up on you like this but it's now or never. I don't know how much longer I can keep my mouth shut and stick to the plan without knocking the sence out of Snart. If you want no part in it I undertstand. I'll be waiting for you, like always, maybe after this is all sorted we can finally take a chance on us. If you still want to ofcourse, I know I do._

_I'll talk to you later_   
_Love Barry_

The letter was in the migraine care package he'd gotten for her and the feud they had the next day was all for show too. They needed it to seem believable so the only people in on the plan were her, Barry and Cisco. Their little argument was also an opportunity for Barry to give Iris the burner phone. He'd left it in her mail box, from where she retrieved it later. He'd texted her the whole story. How after Barry got in trouble for hitting Eddie to within an inch of his life with the whole miscarriage situation the coach made him read the contract for the clause on in team violence. That was the original contract and when Barry noticed that the amounts didn't add up he hired a private investigator. Mr Dibney's sources were limited and he just managed to uncover the offshore account which they had put under Eddie's name.

Barry went on a career ending mission, lashing out at Eobard wasn't out of jealousy, it was a strategy to end his career once and for all. The idea for the documentary was also his, suggested to the board in an anonymous "fan" letter. Once he reached Central City and realised that Iris had no idea he'd been trying to contact her, his paranoia grew so he got a burner and reached out to Cisco. In an attempt to catch the culprits out in their own lie he told Cisco not to disable the hack on his phone and that he would use that to let them know that he knew and see their reaction.

[Iris]

"The plan was for you both to know that he knew and start getting messy in order to cover your tracks. That didn't seem to be working so Barry decided that direct confrontation would be the best plan. During the two days he stayed locked up in this suite he bugged the whole place and was going to trick you into confessing." Iris explained.

"Well if this was a recorded confession how are the police here already?" Patty spat clearly annoyed.

"That part of the plan was my idea. A bit of a back up in case things went south. I gave Cisco my father's computer details and asked him to create a live feed using Barry's bugs. I knew that Barry planned on confronting you today so I had Cisco forge an email from the board to my aunt stating that we needed a letter signed knowing full well that she'd have me deliver it. When I got here and noticed the silence I became suspicious and when you walked in explaining that Barry had collapsed I knew that it was up to me to get it done." she explained with satisfaction written all over her features.

"The phone call, was so that I'd get caught and the little moment I spent under the bed was just enough time for me to send Cisco the signal to fire up the live feed. You three basically did all the rest." Iris folded her arms and gave them her most triumphant smile as the police men escorted them away.

"Enjoy prison Patty cakes, I hear the women in there are really friendly, if you know what I mean. You'll fit right in." Iris teased.

"Oh Bitch you are so dead!" Patty yelled as the officer dragged her out.

"I wouldn't want to add that to your criminal record sweety. It's already looking a tad bit colourful. Just admit defeat honey. Sore loser is not a good look on you." Iris blew her a kiss and smiled relieved that it was all over. Her father offered her a parental side hug and a proud smile.

"Great job baby girl." Joe praised and planted a kiss on her forehead.

"Thanks dad, but I can't take all the credit. It was a joint effort." she said.

"Speaking of which, isn't there a certain patient at CCH you should be visiting?" he asked with a knowing smirk and she nodded.

"See you later dad." With a final squeeze she left for the hospital.

She parked her car in the hospital parking lot and took a minute to breathe and come down from her adrenaline high. As bad ass as she acted at the hotel deep down she was actually petrified. She'd been petrified from the moment she stepped into the party three nights ago. She was afraid of blurting something out that gave them away or of over acting and selling them out. Well the exact opposite happened. They'd both been so incredibly in character that she had no idea what she was going to say to him when she saw him now that the charade was finally over.

"It's just Barry. Get it together." she told herself but those were just words. Much easier said than done. Right now it would be like seeing him for the first time all over again, expect that this time she wouldn't be angry or hate him. This time she knew that he hadn't forgotten her, that everything that had happened in her life since he left wasn't actually his fault. Yes it sounds ludicrous to blame a person who wasn't even present for every bad thing that's ever happened in your life but she did. It was the only way she found to live with herself cause facing the truth meant realising just how stupid she'd actually been and she couldn't live a life of hating herself. So she blamed someone else, someone far away and she hated him instead.

A tear ran down her face and splashed onto her hand, bringing her back from the dark path she was traveling down. She quickly wiped away her tears and checked her reflection in the mirror. It was a first impression in a way and she wanted to make sure it was a good one. She tried to add some pep to her step and made her way inside to see Barry. After a quick stop at the reception she found Barry's room.

"Knock knock," she said as she stepped inside and found Barry pulling his t-shirt on, over his head.

"Wha...What are you doing?" she asked concerned and he turned around to face her.

"I should be asking you that, you might blow our cover," he said but he sounded off.

"You don't have to worry about that. Snart, Patty and Eddie are all in police custody." Iris announced.

"What? How?" he asked shocked.

"Let's just say I tweaked the plan a little and I will give you the exact details if you lay back down on this bed and get some rest." she tried to bargain but Barry completely ignored her offer, asking instead:

"Patty?"

"Yeah. Turns out she was the master mind behind...all this."

Barry sank into the matress and Iris walked towards him, a sence of sympathy filling her chest. She wanted to rest her hand on his shoulder but hesitated and decided it best not to. She still had no idea where they stood and would hate to overstep despite the action seeming so natural.

"So it's all over?" he asked after a long pause and Iris nodded her head in confirmation.

"It's all over. They're going away for a very long time for what they did to you." Iris sat beside him but kept a sliver of distance between them.

"Us." Barry corrected. "For what they did to us. They invaded your privacy too Iris and I'm really sorry for getting you wrapped up in all of this." he took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, a reassuring gesture regarding the honesty behind his apology.

"Barry you have nothing to be sorry for. It wasn't your fault. You were a victim of those lying, scheming, murderous ass holes." this time she was the one to offer him a comforting touch.

"Murderous?" he asked and that's when it hit her. Barry didn't know the truth behind his mother's passing. In the letters she'd read he always blamed it on the break in that lead to the shooting that weakened his mother's heart but he had no idea who was responsible for it.

"Um yeah," she started cautiously.

"They confessed to alot more than just fraud, stealing and invasion of privacy. Turns out they've committed a multitude of crimes one of them being....murder." she said gently, unsure how exactly she should say what she had to say.

"What is it?" he asked, no doubt recognising the troubled expression on her face. She took a deep breath and decided it would be best to just rip the band aid off at once.

"It's your mom Barry. They're responsible for your mom's death."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ofcourse there's a cliffhanger.   
> Would it be me writing if there weren't? 😂😂
> 
> This chapter was going to be alot longer but I didn't want to bombard you all with too much information so I cut it short. That being said I think there may only be two more chapters to be written before I officially close the curtains on Frozen Hearts. 😩😩😩
> 
> I'm broken hearted but I think the story has given as much as it can give and making it any longer might just ruin the good we've had so far 😩💜
> 
>  
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I hope some of the questions and unresolved feelings you've had with each of the characters have been sorted out 🙈💜
> 
> Ship-ya-later darlings  
> XOXO  
> 💜🖤


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long over due but here! So sorry for the delay it's a slightly packed chapter and I hope it was worth the wait 😍😭. I might need to add a chapter to the finale, wasn't expecting this one to be this long. Hope you don't mind 😅😜
> 
> So glad to see we're all enjoying Au so far. It's gonna get a little psychology based in the next few chapters so I hope you're ready for that 😍❤️ hope your comic con weekend was amazing! Super psyched for the next season 😭💜
> 
> Thank you for your patience and without further a-due here is the next chapter. Enjoy 😍
> 
> Ship-ya-later 💜💜
> 
> XOXO  
> 💜🖤

[Barry]

Through out the entire drive to the precinct Barry kept fisting and flexing his fingers. A vengeful anger boiled beneath the surface of his skin, searing through his veins and ringing loudly in his ears but this anger was a mere facade. A mask to hide his true emotions. Hurt. His mother had been senselessly ripped away from him and he was forced to watch the light fade from her eyes with each painstaking day that passed. He watched as her smile slipped further and further from her eyes. He watched as the colour dissappeared from her cheeks. He watched as she became weaker and weaker with each passing moment, diminished to a mere husk of the vibrant woman who gave him so much love. Yet through it all she tried to hide it. She joked about her situation and teased him to get him to smile. She was his greatest cheerleader and always told him to never lose hope on seeing Iris again. Nora knew how much Iris meant to Barry. He even suspected that she knew he loved her before he knew himself. That's just the kind of mother she was, attentive and always positive.

The day she died marked the birth of an incurable cold spot on his heart and over time, with each betrayal and loss he suffered, the spot kept growing and growing and now (with this new revelation) it had reached its final destination. His heart had successfully been frozen and he felt nothing but a deep, all consuming rage.

"Do you want me to go in with you?" Iris asked and he shook his head.

"I need to do this alone," he told her before he walked into the interrogation room. Patti sat, cuffed to the table, with a smirk on her face.

"Well would you look who it is? Honestly Teddy Bear I wasn't expecting you to come back to me so soon," she teased and Barry simply cracked his knuckles while silently reminding himself that she was a woman and he didn't hit women.

"Why?" he simply asked, too energised by furry to sit down.

"Why what? Why did we bug your house? Why did we hack your phone? Why did we drag you away from the 'love of your life'? You gotta be more specific babe," she taunted.

"Why did you kill my mother?" he specified between gritted teeth. A devilish grin spread on to Patti's face and she leaned back into her chair.

"Mama's boy seeking vengeance?" she teased with an exaggerated pout.

"Why?" Barry repeated, his voice dangerously low.

"You gonna cry Barry? Huh? Are you blaming yourself for being so damned stupid?" Her eyes glistened with a satisfied enjoyment at the sight of his annoyance and suffering.

"Why!" he slammed the table with his palm and Patti stood to face him.

"Because I wanted to! Because she was at the wrong place at the wrong time! Because she kept filling your head with fairytales and reminding you at every chance she got that I wasn't the woman you loved!" She yelled.

"Pick one," she spat then sat back down. Barry simply starred at her, his anger visible in the crease of his brow.

"If I'm being completely honest," she explained while seated. "Killing Nora wasn't in my plans."  
Barry winced at the sound of his mother's name on Patti's poisonous tounge but held his ground and let her explain. He needed answers.

"How was I supposed to know that she would be home alone the night we decided to bug it? I thought she'd be at the game, so imagine my surprise when Eddie called to tell me that your poor mother was tied up and unconscious. I mean, she'd seen his face, we couldn't leave any witnesses behind. So I had him shoot her. She would have bled to death if the police hadn't gotten there almost immidiately, seems like your mom called them before she got caught." Patti rolled her eyes then, with disdain clear in her voice, she continued.

"When she woke up, the break-in seemed random and she couldn't provide a description of her assailant so we considered our job as done. It wasn't till Eddie joined the team that she started becoming a problem. She recognised him but fear kept her quiet then one day she just told your dad that she might know who shot her and we couldn't let that word get out now could we? So I joined your mother for tea that afternoon. A little threatening, a drop of poison and, what do you know, she had amnesia all over again. Her weak heart did the rest." she said in a matter-of-fact tone as if her crimes were completely justified. For a while Barry simply stared at her. The silence between them was heavy but necessary for him to process everything she had just said.

"Are we done here? Cause honestly I'm getting a little bored." she chimed.

"I hate you." Barry said suddenly, but in a manner that imitated Snarts cold, calculated calm.

"I despise you. I'm disgusted by you. I hope you enjoy the life sentence and use that time to think about why you went through such extreme lengths to make my life so miserable." he spat.

"Oh that's easy Teddy Bear. I did it for the money. I did it to juice you out of everything you're worth and it was definitely worth it while it lasted." She bragged.

"No you didn't." Barry said and a contempt smile crept over his features.

"Apart of it might have been for the money but most of you did it because in your twisted little head you thought the money could fix you. News flash. It can't. No amount of wealth in this world is ever going to make you feel loved, wanted and appreciated and that's the sorry truth."

Barry watched with guilty satisfaction as the colour melted from her cheeks and the mask she wore as a face completely fell exposing that scared little girl that still hid inside. For a brief moment his heart beat a with a flash of sympathy but just as suddenly as it had come it vanished and he starred her down with a steely determination to rip her to shreds.

"Thought you're the only one who's good at hiding things didn't you? Well I have connections too, Patricia." He said her birth name out with a taunting indifference and saw her take in a shaky breath, ghostly tears adding a fearful shimmer to her eyes.

"That's right. I know who you really are Patti. I know that you used to beg for scraps as a toddler. That you were abandoned in a damp corner with no where to run. That if it weren't for the goodness of your foster mom you never would have put on a pair of skates."

"Stop!" she yelled, the tears beginning to run down her face.

"Why should I?! Did you stop when you saw me heartbroken over having lost the woman I love?! Did you stop when I cried on your shoulder, fearing that my mother wasn't gonna make it to the next sunrise?! Did you stop when I was forced into not one but two careers that made me hate the one thing I held most dear to me?!"

"I'm, I'm sorry." She sobbed, the guilt finally showing through.

"Yeah well I'm sorry too. Sorry that Patricia grew up to be you. Patricia I could have loved, I could have helped, I could have tried to save, but the minute you became this...this...monster that you are, you lost all hope of getting the one thing you wanted most. No one loves a liar Patti so you can steal all the money you want and you can convince yourself that, that's enough but deep down you'll always be that insecure, abandoned little girl with no one to hug when the shadows come. Enjoy the rest of your life." With that he made his grand exit, slamming the door behind him as he left Patti as distraught and broken as he felt.

He stormed out of the precinct towards the parking lot without a single glance in any direction besides forward. Iris (who was on the look out for him) ran after him, struggling to keep up with his long-legged strides.

"Barry slow down!" she called after him and he stopped infront of a pillar, ramming his fist into it in frustration.

"WOAH! Calm down. You'll hurt yourself!" she warned as she slowed down her jog and approached him cautiously. Barry leaned his head against the cool marble and she saw him shake as silent sobs left his body. The anger was waning and slowly the pain began to settle in. Iris wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her cheek against his back. Boundaries be damned, her best friend needed comforting and she was determined to give it to him. Barry was grateful for the show of affection though he wished he could hug her under different circumstances. At that moment he hurt too much to trully appreciate the feel of her arms wrapped around him.

"It's OK Bear." she whispered and felt him tremble as he shook his head.

"It's not OK Iris. I don't think I'll ever be OK."

.......

[Iris]

Her eyes fluttered open lazily and took in the intense darkness surrounding her. Her heart started for a second but soon she began to remember where she was. She was at the hotel where she had decided to stay to take care of Barry as he was in no state to be alone. She'd given him a light sedative and laid down with him till he drifted off then fell asleep herself. Her hand subconsciously reached out and her fingers brushed over his cheek. With that simple touch, in the darkness, she could see him clear as day. Her heart skipped a beat as she allowed her fingers to glide down his face, almost rediscovering it for the very first time. Iris brushed her thumb, tentatively, over his lips and, as a reflex, brushed her tongue over her own lips. A picture of their first kiss rushed to the fore front of her mind and she made the startling realisation that she wanted him. Physically, emotionally, spiritually. Every part of her being still called to him as if no time had passed at all. Yet, the fact still remained, seven years had gone by and though on that stunningly romantic prom night she might have been almost certain that he felt the same way, right now she didn't know where they stood. Iris retracted her hand (the action was almost physically painful) and got out of bed, needing to put some distance between them.

Deciding to take a shower, she made her way to the bathroom where she found fresh towels and a two piece white satin p.j. set. The water washed away the sweat of the day but it couldn't wash away the emotional bruises the day caused. Seeing Barry in that state of absolute vulnerability startled her because she felt herself break inside as she witnessed his pain. It made her wonder: is that what it meant to love someone? To be so deeply in tune with their every thought and emotion that you became infected with them as well. Their aches became yours, their victories warmed your heart, their worries kept you up at night. Realising that she would eventually drive herself insane she shook the thoughts away and stepped out of the shower. Looking at her abdomen, as she toweled down, her scar came into full view and she sighed sadly. _What you feel doesn't matter. Barry will never want a person this damaged._  She thought. Tears stung her eyes as she got dressed but she blinked them away and walked out of the bathroom. Barry was still fast asleep and she walked up to him, careful not make any noise, and placed her hand over his forehead to check for any signs of fever. He was warm but to a normal degree, yet Iris still leaned in and pressed her lips to his forehead.

She convinced herself that it was just to make sure that he was fever free but that tiny voice inside her kept yelling that it was much, much more. A cool breeze blew in from the open balcony doors and Barry trembled slightly so she got up with the intention of closing them. When she got there the cityscape caught her attention and she ended up venturing out to take in the view. The bustel of life carried on in the streets bellow and the light twinkled like fallen stars all the way to the horizon. It was so painfully and beautifully normal that she allowed herself to get lost in the moment. She barely heard when Barry stirred and languidly walked up behind her.

"Iris?" came his husky voice, deepend by sleep, and she started slightly in surprise. She turned around to look at him and her breath caught in her throat. Then moon lit his defined features giving him the appearance of something sculpted out of marble. Her fingers itched with a craving to trace his jaw line or the contour of his abs but she felt she couldn't. It was too soon, so she folded her arms instead and plastered a kind smile onto her face.

"Hey you. You shouldn't be up," she said as he stepped out onto the little balcony to join her. It was a square structure, just a little bigger in width than the doors that lead to it. The smallness of the space made the moment seem more intimate than it should have been.

"Seriously Barry, it's a little chilly out here and your shirtless. Doesn't your poor immune system deserve a break?" she joked and he chuckled softly.

"Well if its that cold then what are you doing here?" he countered and she smiled turning around to face the city once more.

"Admiring the view. Don't you just find it breathtaking?" she asked.

"I do." he answered simply but the tingling at the back of her neck told her that he wasn't looking at the skyscrapers nor the stary sky. Iris felt him come closer and her heart began to pound inside her chest but she made no attempt to move nor stop him. She wanted to see how far he'd go. She wanted to find out once and for all if the Barry she knew seven years ago, her Barry, was still in there somewhere. Tentatively he placed a hand on her shoulder. She startled slightly, looked at it but didn't pull away. Instead she returned her gaze onto the night sky. The gentle wind swayed the curtains in a mesmerising waltz and they blew around them, creating a false sense of secrecy. She felt him draw her hair back from her neck and kept her eyes trained on the stars. Then she felt his lips brush softly against the newly exposed skin and closed her eyes, giving in to the feeling. His arm came around and he rested his hand on her stomach, using it to pull her flush against him. For the first time in what felt like eternity Iris felt safe. It was a startling, confusing and completely unjustified feeling but it was what she felt none the less.

That is...until his thumb caressed her scar through the fabric. The harmless action had the resulting effect of a bucket of ice being dropped on her. The moment was broken and a shameful fear drowned the security she had felt only seconds before. She pulled away from him abruptly, with tears forming in her eyes. She didn't deserve him. He'd been through enough in his life and needed someone worthy of his love. Someone untainted, whole and beautiful. Someone perfect. Someone who wasn't her.   
  



	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Semi final! How excited are we?! I can't believe this fic is ending! 😭 Seems like forever ago when I started it yet it also feels like it's not enough. 😩💜.
> 
> Let me stop being mushy and give you what you've been waiting for 😩💜 enjoy the second last chapter!
> 
> P. S. The three little dots means I'm changing from Iris's POV to a joint West-Allen POV 🖤💜
> 
> XOXO  
> 💜🖤

[Barry]

He was baffled by her sudden draw back and chased after her with his gaze as she walked back inside. He'd woken up when she caressed his face and felt his body shiver when she kissed his forehead but stayed completely still out of fear that he'd scare her. Yet there she was, completely shaken, like as if his touch had ignited some deeply routed fear within her.

"Iris, what's wrong?" he asked concerned as he walked in after her.

"Nothing. Just...nothing. Um I'm gonna order some room service you need to take your meds." she barely looked at him as she fumbled around disoriented, looking for the menu. He approached her cautiously and placed his hands on each of her shoulders, instantly calming her down.

"Iris. Talk to me," he whispered as he turned her around gently. She kept her eyes trained on the floor the entire time.

"Iris please. Let me in." he pleaded once again. He watched her carefully and noticed when the first tear trailed down her cheek. After that she trembled uncontrollably, her body consumed by an avalanche of sobs.

"Hey, hey. It's ok. Whatever it is you can tell me." He tried to hush her while steering her towards the bed. He sat down beside her and simply held her in his arms as she cried. It was all he could do at the moment despite his longing to do more. She was falling apart right infront of him and he didn't know why, much less how to help. He felt her slow down and left her for a few seconds, just enough time to get some tissues from the nightstand and a glass of water. She dabbed at her eyes and nose then with a shaky hand accepted the glass of water that she held up to her lips and drank from, slowly. They remained in a light silence for a while before she finally whispered,

"I'm sorry."

"That's Ok Iris. It's been a long and emotional day, I get it." He answered with a kind smile.

"No not for crying. I'm sorry about...about Eddie." she confessed, choking on the man's name like one would on something poisonous. The smile fell from Barry's face. Though he was no longer upset the sting of jealousy still hurt him.

"It's alright Iris. It's in our past. We've both done some pretty questionable things so let's just do our best to pretend like the last seven years didn't happen." he assured her.

"I can't." she whispered under her breath. "I can't pretend like the last seven years never happened because....because..." she stuttered, seeming unsure about what she wanted to say.

"You know what. This was a mistake, I'm just gonna go," she said getting up and walking out of the bedroom. She power walked into the living room that was dimly lit, in a golden-orange light, by the medium fire in the fire place.

"Iris wait!" Barry ran after her but she wouldn't slow down, she grabbed her car keys off of the tiny coffee table that sat next to the couch and was making her way towards the door when Barry yelled:   
"Iris please! I love you!"

Iris stopped dead in her tracks and turned around slowly to face him.

"What?" She breathed out and he addressed her with eyes that begged her to believe what he was about to say.

"I love you Iris. I loved you before I even knew what the word love meant and leaving you was like leaving a piece of my heart behind. For seven years I've watched people tell me what I need. A new partner, a change in career, more sponsorships, a new coach but none of that ever worked. It never lasted because in my mind and in my heart I knew that what I needed wasn't a thing it was a person. It was you Iris. All I need is you." he'd walked up to her slowly while baring his heart for her to see and stood infront of her completely vulnerable, praying that she didn't turn away. And she didn't. He cupped her face between his hands and peered into her eyes, wishing that they would betray what she was feeling.

"I love you too." She whispered her eyes glossy with newly formed tears.

"And it's because I love you that I can't let you do this. I can't let you love me Barry. I don't deserve you." She turned her gaze away from him, ashamed once more.

"Don't deserve me? Why? Because you had a relationship with Eddie? Iris I dated Patti. Trust me I'm the last person to judge right now." He tried to reassure her.

"I didn't just have a relationship with Eddie, Barry. I let him break me and it would be unfair of me to ask you to put me back together. I can't even put me back together."   
At that Barry's eyes widened and concern creased his brow.

"Woah hold on a second. Break you? Iris did he hurt you?" he asked and her silence was enough of an answer. He pulled her in for a hug and to his relief she hugged back.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that but I promise that I will never let anyone hurt you ever again."   
Iris pulled away shaking her head.

"That's really sweet of you Bear but I can't let you do this."

"Yes you can Iris. I want to do this. I want to be there for you."

"You can't Barry!" she yelled, and he was taken a back for a second.   
"Don't you get it? I'm damaged and tainted and weak. I let him do this to me!"

"Iris none of this was your fault..."

"Yes it was Barry." she interrupted.   
"It was all my fault because I could have stopped it. I knew what kind of monster he was way before he hurt me and I could have walked away but I didn't and you wanna know why? Because I was weak. Because I was too afraid of being alone, of never being loved again. I was afraid of all the pain that pushed me into his arms in the first place so I decided that it would be best to fight the demon I knew rather than the ones I was running from. So I stayed. Like a coward." her breath became more strained as she fought off tears but eventually she lost the war and started crying once again. Barry steered her to the sofa and sat her down then took a seat beside her, pulling her back into his arms for comfort. He had no idea what Eddie had done to her and at that moment he wished the bastard wasn't in jail so that he could get the satisfaction of making the son of a bitch pay with his own hands.

  
[Iris]

Terrified. That's how Iris felt as she sat curled in Barry's arms that night. She wanted to savour the moment, commit everything about it to memory. She knew that after she told him what she had to say he would never look at her the same way. He would see her for what she trully was, a cowardly, broken girl with no hopes of ever being fixed.

"What did he do to you?" Barry whispered, almost as if the question were a mere thought he said out loud and not meant to be answered. But she answered him anyway.

"He...hit me. Badly. I...I was in the hospital for weeks after, recovering." She stuttered it was the first time she'd admitted it since it had happened but the words still left a painfully bitter taste in her mouth.

"The sad thing is I saw it coming. It started off small. He'd attack anyone that came near me, he'd break something when he got frustrated, he'd bang the walls and furniture when he was enraged. I just chalked it up to anger. He hadn't harmed me yet and I convinced myself that he just had anger management issues. Then one day he grabbed me a little too hard but he apologised and I let it slide. Then she shuved me and I got bruised but he took care of me and I brushed it off. I kept making excuses because the thought of leaving him, of being alone and facing all the pain that had lead me to him in the first place...I was afraid Barry. I didn't want to be alone." She pulled away from him, ashamed of her own cowardice and feeling unworthy of his comfort. She planted her feet onto the white, fluffy carpet and stared ahead at the dancing flames.

"But that day, on the ice, I was alone. Completely and utterly alone." she gripped the sofa on each side of her tightly as the details of 'the incident' came flooding back to her mind.

"I knew that Eddie was very competitive, but I had no idea - to - to what extent. He wanted to try something new for our routine but I didn't feel safe doing that move. It was too dangerous. So he - he came at me. First a grab. Then I - I threatened him. That's when he shoved me up against the rink walls. I tried to get away but...he was stronger. The first punch was agonising, the second was dizzying, the third - numbed me out. I fell, and - and he grabbed me, flung me across the ice, that's when I hit my head and everything went dark. I don't remember when he kicked me in the gut with his blade. All I know is that - is that I woke up in the hospital, barely...able to move and with a horrid - slash around my abdomen that - that..." She broke down and Barry pulled her close, caressing her head gently as she cried on his shoulder. Though she felt guilty for accepting the safety his embrace provided she was gratefully surprised that he didn't kick her out. Instead he kissed the top of her head and squeezed her tight every time she shook.

"Can I see it?" he asked with a degree of caution in his voice and for a second Iris forgot how to breathe. She pulled away, wiping her tear stained face, and looked at him in confusion.

"Wh-what?" She asked.

"Can I see it?" he asked yet again, this time with a bit more certainty.

"Barry, I..."

"Iris when I told you I loved you I meant it and that means loving all of you, perfections and flaws. So please, will you let me see it?" he asked. She took a shaky breath in and tried to maneuver around the knot forming in her throat while she figured out what to say. It had to be a dream or a trick of some sort. Maybe he was just in denial, he didn't believe her story was true. Yet, his eyes told her that not only did he believe her but he was willing to accept her despite it. Could she take that risk? Would it be worth destroying the image he had of her for a silly sense of security that she was being trully seen and loved for who she was? Imperfections and all? Suddenly Iris found herself back at prom, the butterflies fluttered wildly in her stomach and the memory came with a hint of pain. She didn't take a chance back then. She waited too long and lost him forever, so what if this time she didn't? What if this time she wasn't weak? What if she let him in, if she allowed her self to be brave enough to be completely vulnerable with him?

She took in another deep breath and held it as she nodded her head in response. Barry moved from his spot beside her and kneeled infront of her and when he reached for her shirt she felt her body grow tense with anticipation. Iris closed her eyes as Barry undid her pijama shirt, starting from the bottom, one button at a time. She simply sat there motionless but for the occasional trembl as ghostly sobs shook through her. She shivered with every new patch of skin uncovered and kept her eyes closed, too afraid of facing his rejection once he finally saw her greatest flaw. The scar that symbolised all that she was. Damaged, tainted, imperfect and unworthy of his affection. The protective warmth that surrounded her scarred skin was pierced by a sudden cold as Barry exposed her shame to the world. She held her breath, expecting him to back away horrified and disgusted, but was taken by surprise as she felt the sudden warmth of his lips upon her mangled skin. Her heart stopped. Was this really happening?

"Barry." she breathed out tremulously, her pitch a notch higher from her crying. Finally gaining the courage to open her eyes she looked down and realised that it was true. He was kissing her scar. Barry lifted his gaze to her and offered her a smile, placing his hands on either one of her cheeks and cupping her face.

"See. That wasn't so bad was it?" he asked softly and she chuckled. A ragged and confused sound.

"You-You're not disgusted?" she asked shakily and he planted a kiss on her forehead before he answered.

"Disgusted? Never. That scar is a mark of bravery Iris, it tells me that you're alot stronger than even I knew you were. It's a part of you and I find every part of you breathtakingly beautiful."

She couldn't believe it. Her leap of faith had paid off. For so long she'd felt nothing but the most crippling fear that she barely recognised when the joy came in and thawed her icy heart. Finally, here was someone who knew her truth and looked at her with something other than pity. Someone who was willing to love her despite her cracks and it wasn't just any someone. It was the man she'd been in love with for as long as she could remember. It was the man who's arms she knew she trully belonged in. It was Barry.

...

She leaped into his arms, knocking him down in the process, and smashed her lips to his. His hands found her waist beneath her half unbuttoned shirt and hers rested against his bare chest as they embraced eachother, at last, like two people in love. Two frozen hearts reunited.

They came up for air and she looked into his eyes that were glazed over with infatuation then she leaned in and whispered:  
"I love you Barry Allen," into his ear, like a secret meant only for him to know.  
"I love you Iris West," he whispered back then planted a kiss on her ear. She closed her eyes and let herself be drowned by the passion of the moment. Gently he flipped them over and continued his earlier mission, caressing her neck with his lips. The fire cackled softly in the fireplace, the only witness to their act of affectivity. They disposed of the clothing between them, their bodies famished for skin-to-skin contact, a craving they've had for all of seven years. The dancing flames cast moving shadows along her naked silhouette and Barry held his breath as he took her in. Her ebony hair was spread across the white carpet, creating a haphazardly beautiful pattern. Her chocolate skin was sinfully tantalising and soft and for the first time ever he could see each and every bit of it. Her scar melted into her, a tiny flaw in the masterpiece that somehow inhanced her beauty. He ran his thumb across it, she shivered, his member twitched.

Never in her life had she felt so alluring. She could sense his gaze ravishing each line and curve of her exposed body yet she didn't feel the need to shy away. She wanted him to see her, to know her intimately. She longed for his touch just as much as she longed to feel him. The moonlight had painted him as cool and statuesque but the fire casted him in a heated, human light. Her body ignited under his touch, almost as if possessed by a lustful deity and when his lips met hers the world grew silent. Their tongues intertwined in a languid tango, drawing out the pleasure, slowing down time. Their fingers intertwined and she arched her back as he left a trail of kisses down her chest, luring him closer.

Her warm skin smelled of honey mixed with something else. Something deliciously sweet and distinctive. Something undoubtedly her. She opened herlsef up to him, like a nocturnal flower in bloom, delicate and mesmerising, and he made himself at home between her parted legs. Ever so gently he grazed her entrance and a whispered moan eminated from her, rippling through him like a calm river. He returned his lips to hers, smothering her pleasured cries as he finally pushed into her. She gasped at the sudden but long awaited invasion and her body naturally acclimated to the feel of him inside her. Suddenly those seven years that they spent apart didn't matter and all was forgotten. They were finally together, emotionally and physically united and for the first time in their lives (despite their previous relationships) they made love.

Afterwards they laid in eachothers embrace, naked limbs intertwined before the fire, covered by a throw that was left on the couch. They rested on their sides, watching the flames dance about. His hand was around her waist, their fingers interlaced, and he peppered her back with soft, slow kisses.

"This is so surreal." she said hoarsely, satisfied exhaustion clear in her tone.

"What is?" he asked, before planting a final kiss on her shoulder.

"This. Us. Here together. So much time passed that I started to lose hope that this would ever happen." She admitted and he dipped his head and kissed her longingly.

"And now?" he asked.

"Now... I feel seventeen again. I feel like a love struck girl who wants nothing more than to be in your arms and skate. No complications, no power hungry schemes. Just us, our love and the ice." she confessed dreamily.

"Then let's do it." he said and she looked at him with a puzzled smile.

"What?" she chuckled.

"Let's do it. We're already together so why not mend our professional lives too? I mean we still have a week to go, we can still make the tryouts. Then I could give you back the life you deserve. The life that was stolen from us." he explained. She released his hand and wrapped hers around his neck, bringing his head down and pecked his lips.

"What did I ever do to deserve you?" she asked.

"You let a late and extremely scared little boy hold your hand and take you back into the ice rink." he smiled down at her, interweaving their fingers once more.

"So what do you say Iris West? Will you skate with me?" he asked and she nodded with a smile.

"Yes. Yes I will skate with you," she answered before she rolled around in his arms and pushed him back down on to the carpet. He starred up at her, his smile brightening his sea green eyes. Those eyes that she once thought she'd never see again but now couldn't imagine living with out. The eyes of Bartholomew Henry Allen. The love of her life. She smiled back at him, her heart warm and finally at peace (much like his), then she leaned in and they kissed.

 


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story started off as a suggestion with a very uncomplicated plot but it bloomed in my head and turned into what we see today. It had its twists and turns but in the end I thought simplicity might be key. This chapter is just to give everyone a little closure and give you guys a littel West-Allen happiness after all the arguing. It's my longest chapter yet but it took almost two months to write so I thought you all deserved something extra 💜
> 
> I cannot thank you all enough for all the love and loyalty you've shown this AU and I thank you all for sticking with it me through it. Thank you, thank you, a million times thank you. 💜
> 
> I love you all 💜  
> XOXO
> 
> \- A. J. 💜

* * *

 

[2 years later...]

He sat in front of the window, with his knees pressed against his chest, and watched as the snow fell. The streets bellow were beautifully adorned in white and despite the roaring fire that warmed the living room Barry still shivered a little every time the wind howled a little too loudly. He was alone in the open space kitchen-living room-dining room and Iris was on the second floor of their cosy loft, resting out her jetlag. They’d just gotten back from Portugal after a lengthy world tour comprised of endless interviews and media conventions. Barry and Iris had sort of become celebrities in the skating world, mostly due to their gold medallist status (for two consecutive years) though the romance between them made their lives of utmost interest to the public and therefore the media. The sun was beginning to set and Barry could just about see traces of orange and pink in the insignificant gaps between the clouds. Around the city, lights were being turned on and soon it became a picturesque collage of brightly lit windows all in varying hues of yellow, orange and white. He was so enthralled by the changing scenery that he barely noticed when Iris came into the room. She draped her arms around his neck and rested her cheek on the top of his head. Barry smiled and moved his gaze from the city to her. She offered him a smile in return then leaned in and pecked his lips. 

“How was your nap?” he asked while looking up into her cutely groggy face and Iris answered,

“It would have been better if you were in bed with me.” She caressed his cheek then added,

“What were you looking at?”

Barry put one of his legs down and gently pulled Iris to sit with him. She rested her back against his chest and his arms rested comfortably around her waist pressing her further to him in a warm and comforting embrace. They admired the city in silence, enjoying a rare moment alone together. Between practice, interviews, social events and contests they barely had enough time to be a couple yet oddly enough that’s what made moments like these so special. Barry turned his gaze away from the city and focused on Iris’s reflection instead. She looked awe struck and the slight faded quality of the image in the glass made her seem like something out of a dream. It still stunned him how beautiful she was and no ocean view or mountainous scenery in the world could compare to the splendour he got from waking up to the sight of her.

“It’s beautiful” she whispered and suddenly he got a sense of de javu to their first night together and just like that night, when the moonlight enhanced her flawless features and took his breath away he answered,

“Yes it is.”   
Iris caught his eye through the reflection and noticed that he was staring at her. She wanted to make a teasing remark but his gaze was so intent that it silenced her, making the pounding of her heart more prominent.

“I love you.” He said without warning as was his custom and she offered him a small smile. She turned around to look at him and sat in front him with her legs folded beneath her. She caressed both his cheeks with her hands, cupping his handsome face and leaned in to plant a soft kiss on his lips. Iris drew back and said,

“I love you too.”   
This time Barry leaned in and kissed her. He placed his hand on the back of her head and drew her closer. Their lips parted and their tongues connected, the moment growing more heated by the second. Their bodies responded with a baffling urgency. How could they be together for months on end and still miss one another so passionately? Iris rose from her seated perch forcing Barry to tilt his head back. His hands sneaked under her top and grazed her waist for a brief instant before moving up her back. Her skin was warm and soft. His hands felt incredible against her. Barry brought his hands forward and when his fingers grazed the bottom of her breasts he realised (without surprise) that Iris didn’t have a bra on. It had been too long since they’d seen each other in that way. Sex, though gratifying, seemed almost meaningless when done in a place as cold and without character as a hotel room. But here, at home, in their home, it meant something. It was more than just infatuation driven desire. It was an intimate act of love. Barry broke away from her and looked at her hazy expression.

“What do you say we move this upstairs?” He asked breathless and Iris simply nodded, too desperate to speak. Barry stood up and she straddled him, returning her lips to his as he carried her up the stairs. Once in the room he laid her down gingerly on the bed. Iris trailed her hands down his chest towards the hem of his shirt and Barry supported himself on his hands as she pulled it over his head. Her hands made contact with his bare back and she felt him shiver. Suddenly her phone began to ring, but neither of them made any move to answer it.

“Ignore it,” Barry said and gave her lips one last peck before exploring her neck. Iris did as he suggested and simply closed her eyes, losing herself in the moment. The phone grew quiet but screamed for attention, once again, a few seconds later.

“I should probably get it,” Iris sighed disappointed.

“No,” Barry said between kisses “You really shouldn’t”  
He lifted her tank top partially, exposing her stomach and planted soft butterfly kisses on it. Iris felt herself grow weak but the hollering device impeded her from fully enjoying the moment.

“It might be important Bare” she managed to get out.

“Shh” Barry hushed her and seized her lips with his. Once again the phone grew quiet and just like the first time the silence only lasted for a few blissful seconds. The two lovers broke apart and Barry hung his head in frustration.

“I’ll make it quick,” Iris promised and stole a quick kiss from him before she pushed past his grasp and reached for the phone.

“Hello?” she answered and leaned her back against the headboard, waiting for the caller to identify themselves.

“Hey aunt Cecile.” She greeted and Barry gave her a devilish smirk. He crawled towards her and kissed a path up her leg, Iris’s eyes widened and she tried to keep her voice steady, answering her aunt’s remarks with short. “mm hmms” and “uh huhs”.  He returned to the dip of her neck, finding her sensitive spot within seconds and Iris felt her legs grow weak.

“Yeah, no sure we’ll be there.” She said clearing her throat soon after to disguise it’s lusty huskiness. Barry sucked the spot behind her ear and Iris lost all sense of time. Just as she was letting go, Cecile’s voice droned back into focus and startled her.

“What?” She asked disoriented and before she could lie to her aunt that she was in fact listening Barry nipped at just the right place on her neck.

“OK Aunt Cecile, I gotta go now, see you in an hour.” She said and ended the call before her aunt could answer. Barry chuckled.

“That was not funny Bartholomew,” she half scolded with a smile on her face.

“Ooh” he teased and kissed her, “Am I in trouble?”

“Yes you are mister. Big trouble. Unfortunately I’ll have to deal with you later, we need to get ready. Aunt Cecile has just invited us to dinner and she would not take ‘no’ for an answer.”

“Do we have to go?” Barry groaned like a child and Iris gave him a pouty look.

“Yes, yes we do.” Barry moved away from her and sat with his shoulders hunched over in disappointment.

“Aww poor baby.” Iris teased as she moved towards him and wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Tell you what, I’ll let you join me in the shower if you promise that we won’t let the water get cold this time,” she proposed and a smile crept over his features. He kissed her then picked her up and answered

“I promise.”

That promise wasn’t kept.   
…..

"Babe, could you zip me up?" Iris asked as she stepped infront of the mirror an hour later and put her earings on. They were both late but Barry didn't seem that bothered by it. He was lying casually on the bed, staring at her with a less than innocent grin on his face and half dressed. He stood up finally and stepped in behind her but instead of zipping her up he lowered his lips to her shoulder and teased her skin with soft pecks.

"Oh no you don't mister." Iris said shifting slightly away from his grasp.

"This is precisely why we're late. Honestly Barry what has gotten in to you today?" She whined playfully.

"I can't help it," he confessed pulling her back towards him.

"You're just too damn tempting," he justified lamely and kissed her cheek. It wasn't just any kiss, it was his oh-so-famous seducing kiss. The kind that was gentle enough to be both sweet and arousing all at once. She felt her body flush with warmth and closed her eyes against the temptation.

"You're really not making this easy," she sighed and when she opened her eyes she realised that he was smirking at her through the mirror.

"Does this mean you'll call in sick and take me on for another round?" he wiggled his eyebrows and Iris chuckled, turning around to face him.

"We can't babe. Aunt Cecile will have both our heads. Let's make a deal. You zip me up and behave while we're out and when we get back, if you're not too tired, I can take you up on that offer. What do you say?" Iris leaned in and pressed a burning, lingering kiss to his lips - a promise of what was yet to come.

"You're really not making this easy." He echoed her earlier statement.

"Is that a yes?" She asked, her puppy dog eyes pleading and turning him to mush.

"Fine." He caved and she gave out an excited little squeal then turned around so that he could zip her up.

"What do you think?" she asked while inspecting her reflection and the look in his mirror image said it all. He was awe struck. The bright shimmering red of her knee length dress brought out the chocolate of her skin and soft curls rested perfectly around her shoulders. The dress hugged her curves up to her hips then fell beautifully to her knees, the diamond shaped cut that fell over her chest from the choker-like collar allowed for the right amount of clevage to peek through. Sexy but modest. Barry shook the wide eyes and open mouth from his face, blinking back into reality.

"I liked you better without it." He teased and she turned around and slapped his shoulder playfully.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding." He laughed.

"You look beautiful. As always." He admitted while pulling her closer by the waist and pecking her lips.

"Thank you. Now please finish up. I'll be waiting for you downstairs." She answered and, with her high heels in her hand, she left him to his task. She made her way back downstairs, settling down on a couch to put her heels on. The table behind her was adorned with their trophies and medals (that were safely kept in little square cases) from the last two years worth of competitions.

"Babe!" She called out, as she finished strapping on her second heel.

"All done." Came Barry's voice from behind her and she turned around to find him looking dashing in a black tuxedo and bow tie. For a moment she simply stared. At times she found it hard to believe that he was actually hers. It seemed like a dream, a magnificent dream that she never wanted to wake up from. Then he'd hold her in his arms and tell her he loves her and she'd realise that it wasn't just a dream but her sweet reality.

"What?" he asked, looking down to inspect his suit incase something were out of place.

"Nothing, you're just... You're making me rethink your earlier offer." She flirted and a cocky grin crept over his face.

"You sure you don't want to cancel? This suit takes alot more time to put on than it does to take off." He suggested and Iris bit her lip but eventually shook her head 'no'.

"We didn't put this much effort into our appearances to stay home. Come on Teddy Bear, let's go."

Barry ambushed her at the door and tickled her sides.

"You know I hate that name," he said as she laughed in his arms.

"Alright - alright. I'm - sorry." She managed between laughs and he stopped but held on to her to offer her support. They both settled down and for a brief moment they simply looked at eachother, both were appreciating the look of happiness on their partner's face. Iris reached out for his tie and straightened it and Barry lifted his head slightly to make it easier for her to do so.

"There. Perfect." she said, planting her hands on his chest and he simply smiled back at her. Barry let go and offered her his arm, which she graciously took, and the couple walked out, in step, in sync, in love.

....

As soon as they arrived at Jitters, Barry and Iris where showered with flashes. Tactfully they side stepped any intimate or revealing questions and Iris breathed out a sigh of relief when Cecile bulldozed her way through the inquisitive mass.

“All right you vultures, ease up, we’re on a schedule here.” She pushed her way through and the crowd made themselves scarce.

“I’m so glad you’re here! What took you so long?” she scolded as she hugged her niece and Iris smiled, hugging her back.

“Um…we got, busy.” Barry replied in a less than subtle manner causing Iris’s cheeks to burn.

“What he means is we lost track of time. Uh…a lot of unpacking to do.” She tried to cover. Half a lie was better than a steamy and private truth at that point. Cecile addressed them both with a sceptical expression but eventually brushed it off and pulled them inside as she said,

“Well forget about that, your guests are waiting.”

“Guests? I thought you said this was an intimate gathering.” Iris stated.

“Yeah it is. Just under 30 people.” Cecile announced and when the couple looked up they noticed the familiar faces of their family and friends. Almost everyone in their close circle was there and even some of the parents to Iris’s one time students had pitched up.

“Oh my gosh. What is everyone doing here?” She asked and Cecile smiled.

“You didn’t think we were gonna let you two celebrate your second consecutive victory without us did you?” She smiled and both Barry and Iris gave her a grateful look.

“Thank you everyone,” Barry said after noticing how overwhelmed Iris was. The crowd burst into cheer and the couple made their way into the wave of love to greet their guests.  The night was filled with "congratulations", "we knew you could it", "we miss you" and "we're cheering you on" and somewhere between thanking everyone and engaging in conversation Barry and Iris lost site of eachother.

"Having fun?" Cecile asked at some point during the night as she approached Iris who was rocking a smiling baby Jenna on her hip.

"The most," Iris answered then in her best baby-talk voice she added

"Isn't that right Jenna?" Baby Jenna squealed happily and both women laughed.

"All right baby girl. Time for bed. You're really good with her, you know. Maybe you and Barry should start on one of your own soon." Cecile suggested as she took Jenna from Iris. An image of her and Barry earlier that evening flashed through her mind and Iris felt her face flush.   
She cleared her throat and answered,

"Slow down there Aunt Cecile. We've just started our career as a couple. Let's not get ourselves carried away so soon. Speaking of which, where is Barry?"

"Um, I don't really know I haven't seen him for a while." Cecile answered while looking around. The stair way that led to the rooftop caught Iris's eye and she suspected she might have just found him.

"I'm gonna go look for him. Bye Jenna, sweet dreams." She kissed Jenna on the forehead and gave her aunts arm a loving rub before taking her leave and making her away up the stairs. As suspected she found Barry upstairs with his arms folded to keep the warmth in as he over looked the city. She looked at him for a minute, the image seeming familiar but changed. She walked up to him and wrapped her arms around him from behind. Barry started for a second but soon recognised her embrace.

"Hey, there stranger." She said and smiled. His smiled too but it slipped off his face when he turned around in her arms and realised that she hadn't put her coat on before joining him and the weather was frosty.

"Are you crazy? Its freezing out here." He said concerned and she smiled, wrapping her arms around him beneath his coat.

"No. This was part of my grand plan to cuddle you. And your worry is endearing," she said and reached up to peck his frozen lips. Barry drew her shivering body closer, wrapping his coat around her like a cacoon as he did.

"Better?" he asked and she nodded, her cheek rubbing against his chest.

"Much, thank you." she answered. She could here the hurried beat of his heart and felt so close to him. This was her favourite place in the world, in his arms, with his heart beat ringing through her ears and connecting with her own. Suddenly she remembered the last time they were up there, on that roof top, the night he asked her to junior prom.

"What were you doing up here?" She asked and he rubbed her back.

"Not much. Just doing a little thinking." he answered then after a moments pause asked,   
"Do you remember the night I asked you to be my date to prom?"

Iris smiled at their like mindedness.

"I was just thinking about that actually. This scenario seemed oddly familiar." she answered.

"I don't think I've ever been that nervous." he confessed, a chuckle shaking through him.

"Well it was one of the best nights of my life. I had the biggest crush on you back then and when you asked my heart nearly jumped out of my chest in excitement. I thought you felt it too." she came clean.

"I did. I still do. Every morning when I wake up and watch you sleep it takes me back to that roof top. To being that nervous little boy with a crush on his best friend."

Iris looked up at him, warm hearted. It never seized to amaze her how loved he could make her feel with the smallest of gestures. It wasn't about what he did, it was HOW he did it. How he looked at her when he thought she wasn't watching, how his voice softened when he called her name, how his hands trembled slightly when he touched her; almost as if he were scared of hurting her.

"Can I tell you a secret?" she asked softly, her gaze never leaving his. He nodded, looking down at her attentively.

"The pendant wasn't the best gift you gave me that night. Asking me to prom was."  
He gave her a painful smile.

"You mean asking you out to the worst night of your life?" he said and cast his eyes down.

"No babe." She said and ducked slightly to look at his eyes. He brought them back up to look at her.

"Despite what happened at prom the fact that you asked _me_ to be there with you meant the world to me. I mean we basically spent our whole lives together and this was something that you didn't have to share with me. A moment that was yours to do as you please and yet you chose to spend it with me." She explained.

"I couldn't see myself spending that day or any other day, for that matter, with anyone but you.... I love you Iris." His voice was barely above a whisper and he stared at her with a distantly nervous look. Almost as if he were hiding something. Before she could ask what was the matter, he exhaled raspily.

"I take my earlier statement back. That wasn't the most nerve wrecking night of my life. Tonight is."   
Iris gave him a quizzical look and in response he said,

"Reach into my pocket." Still puzzled, Iris did as she was asked and felt around in the darkness of his coat till she found the tiny pocket sewen on the inside like a secret compartment. Her breath hitched in her throat when her fingers wrapped around something small, velvety and square shaped. Her eyes widened and she looked up at him, her heart beat quickening with anticipation at where the moment might lead. He answered her questioning glare with an almost confirming smile. She pulled the tiny box and held it out to him, her mind suddenly going blank. In the tiny space that existed between them, the tiny box seemed to occupy a world of space. She eyed it, too anxious to open it and reveal what was inside. Reveal the promise she imagined hid within it's black velvety corners.

"Barry," she whispered shakily, her eyes welling up and when she looked up at him again she noticed a slight twinkle in his. Barry let go of her and shrugged his coat off then draped it over her shoulders, took the box from her and went down on one knee. Iris felt all the air leave her lungs. She couldn't believe this was actually happening. He opened the box and the surrounding city lights provided enough illumination for her to see the gleam of the diamond ring. It was a relatively simple engagement ring with two small glistening diamonds on either side of a large blue gem. The blue symbolised the ice, their joint passion and the reason why they met.

"Iris," he started. "Through out my life there have been two things that have been constant. The first was change and the second is you. We've been separated, tormented and schemed against but through it all the one thing that I could count on to keep me on my feet was my love for you. No ocean, no evil plan, no scar will ever change that. I can't imagine my life without you. I haven't been able to picture my future without you in it since the very first day we skated together and it is with that in mind that I selfishly kneel before you today, with snow soaking through my clothes, and ask that you never let me find out what that future would look like."

At this point the tears were streaming down Iris's cheeks as she could no longer contain her joy.

"So what do you say Iris? Will you skate all the rinks in the world with me? Will you let me love you till the my last day on this earth? Will you make this nervous man's boyish dream come true and marry me?"

She was frozen to the spot. Of all the times she'd pictured this happening (and there had been many in the past two years) this exceeded any and all expectations. Barry's heart was leaping out of his chest with every second that ticked by without her responding and so he repeated,

"Iris West will you ma-"

"Yes! Yes! A million times yes!" she answered coming, out of her emotion enduced paralysis, and flung herself at him. They crashed into the snow, her on top of him, and she pressed her lips to his passionately. When they parted she looked at him with a new found sparkle in her eyes, a new level of love for him. He reached his arm over her back and took the ring out of its case then slowly slipped it onto her finger. She admired it for a second, her smile widening then she brought her hand to his face and gently brushed some snow from his cheek.

"I love you Iris West." He whispered, the realisation that she would soon be his wife still in the process of sinking into his mind.

"I love you Barry Allen. And there's no one I'd rather spend the rest of my life with." She said back before dipping her lips to his, communicating in that touch just how much she loved him. It was a two way dialogue without words. A show of affection better demonstrated and felt than spoken and heard. A promise made between two once frozen hearts, on a moonlit roof top, in a blanket of snow. A promise to beat for eachother, to beat together. A promise of forever. 


End file.
